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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

urgent help needed!

25 replies

brightonbythesea · 02/11/2013 19:32

My almost 12mo had a very busy day at a first birthday party. She napped 2.30-3.40 and woke up herself. She was clearly still tired and grizzly for the rest of the evening. We bathed her at 6 and she went into her cot at 6.30 after a lot of grizzling but she was calm when she was put in bed. Since then she has screamed and screamed in her cot. I have taken her out once for a cuddle, and gave her calpol about 40 mins ago incase it is her teeth and checked her nappy. About 20 mins ago I went in and reassured her and stayed with her for a few mins. She calmed but just sat up, not trying to sleep. She is now still going crazy in her cot and I don't know what to do. My DP says just leave her, there is nothing wrong other than she is tired. I am not adverse to leaving her to grizzle but she's not grizzling she's really screaming. I am getting quite stressed as I don't know what to do for the best. help!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

rubyslippers · 02/11/2013 19:33

take her out and start again

they can go a bit unsettled at 12 months or so - reassure her, let her know you're there

perhaps sit next to her with your hand on her chest

IcouldstillbeJoseph · 02/11/2013 19:35

I would take her out and cuddle her in the dark. Just gentle kisses and reassurance but no talking. And wait for her to relax.....

SteamWisher · 02/11/2013 19:35

Pick her up - the world won't end if she's out of bed.

Maybe take her for a short walk outside in your arms, the fresh air might help.

Original poster

brightonbythesea · 02/11/2013 19:35

thanks ruby, I am worried that I'll do the whole thing again and she will just start screaming again as soon as she's in her cot, but by then she'll be even more tired than she is now. She is so overtired I feel terrible that I didn't bring her home from the party earlier, but she was having a nice time and I'm always being told I should be more flexible with naps as she is 1 now and will cope.

OP posts:

IcouldstillbeJoseph · 02/11/2013 19:36

But I'm soft in the head

sheeplikessleep · 02/11/2013 19:36

I would go in and sit next to them or pick up and cuddle, to try and calm down.
Does she normally go down quietly? She may e needs a longer quietning down time after the party.

bundaberg · 02/11/2013 19:36

go and get her up and give her a cuddle. regardless of whether she is tired or not, she is unhappy and letting you know that the only way she knows how.

she's been screaming for what? an hour and a half nearly?

rubyslippers · 02/11/2013 19:37

some babies do get more over tired than others

am sure this is a one off and tomorrow she will settle if she has her usual nap

bundaberg · 02/11/2013 19:38

i actually think it's unlikely that having a busy day has caused her to be so unusually upset tbh.
especially given that she has had a nap in the day too

i'd be more inclined to think she is maybe coming down with something

Original poster

brightonbythesea · 02/11/2013 19:39

I haven't just left her screaming on her own for an hour and a half bundaberg, I've done all the things I've outlined in my OP. I have just stopped now to ask for advice. DP has now gone in to sit with her.

Sheep, she goes down happily but not quietly! She will often grizzle a little or talk/chat to herself for up to 15 minutes but she is a good settler unless she is overtired or teething.

OP posts:

mummyxtwo · 02/11/2013 19:40

If it's a one off rather than a regular occurrence then I'm of the camp that it won't instantly lead to bad habits if you just pick her up, take her downstairs, and have a snuggle together watching some Strictly. I've had to do that a handful of times with my dd2 (also 12mo) when she has been teething or full of cold, and we've just cuddled for a while, she calmed and got sleepy, and after a while I took her back up to bed. Once she had to fall asleep in my arms before I could get her into bed, but that hasn't caused sleep problems after the teething / cold settled - usually I just put her to bed awake and she goes to sleep by herself. Just keep calm yourself and tell yourself that nothing bad will come from a night out of usual routine.

bundaberg · 02/11/2013 19:41

i wasn't suggesting you had, but she has ultimately been upset for that long hasn't she?

and actually, reading it again you've only been in twice?

bundaberg · 02/11/2013 19:41

if she is calmer with someone in the room then i'd just sit in there til she drops off

magicscares · 02/11/2013 19:43

When dd does this we leave her a few minutes as sometimes she'll settle by herself. Mostly what works best is to sit and read calmly with her, stories about sleep and going to bed are best! Then when she's calm and ready put her into bed. If she's particularly unsettled it helps for one of us to pretend to be asleep on her bedroom floor while she falls asleep.
Good luck.

Original poster

brightonbythesea · 02/11/2013 19:44

thanks mummyxtwo, that's helpful. She's so easy to put to sleep normally, we have had this kind of thing twice before, but both times we've been staying at someone elses house and I've put it down to stange environments. I guess I am worrying a bit that I'll create sleep problems. I'll let DP sit with her for a few more minutes and see how that goes. If no joy I think I'll just get her out by 8 and we'll read some books. I am dreading the morning as I find the later she goes to bed the earlier she is to rise!

OP posts:

marriedinwhiteisback · 02/11/2013 19:47

Little thought OP. Are there firework bangs going on near you? They might be scaring her.

Original poster

brightonbythesea · 02/11/2013 19:47

thanks magic I normally leave my DD too and she will settle in 5 mins or so, but tonight seems exceptional! She's gone quiet so here's hoping!

OP posts:

Original poster

brightonbythesea · 02/11/2013 19:48

This little girl is very sensitive to overtiredness!

OP posts:

SteamWisher · 02/11/2013 19:53

Honestly you won't creat sleep problems by taking a different approach once or twice!

Original poster

brightonbythesea · 02/11/2013 19:57

yes to the fireworks, hadn't thought of that. It is windy and noisy here too, we live on the top of a hill. Thanks Steam it is reassuring. She is now asleep in my arms and I am secretly enjoying my little tired cuddle as she's not the cuddly type!

OP posts:

claudedebussy · 02/11/2013 20:00

i had this with my first. she was hard to settle after a hectic day if she was overtired. you've done all the right things.

not easy this parenting is it?

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 02/11/2013 20:02

DD was like this. She had an ear infection so I think lying down was very painful for her. I just thought she was teething and tired. She could only sleep almost upright on my chest. They do seem to have a tricky time round 12 mths too.

Hope she sleeps soon OP!

Original poster

brightonbythesea · 02/11/2013 20:26

thanks for all your lovely helpful replies. We have fallen asleep and woken again, so the crying continues. DP has taken her for a drive to see if she'll drop off that way and transfer her. Claudedebussy no it isn't at all! Just when I think I have something sussed she does something brand new...!

OP posts:

claudedebussy · 02/11/2013 20:43

well hopefully you'll be able to seamlessly transfer her from car to cot and have a nice lie-in tomorrow. hugs

bittapitta · 02/11/2013 21:51

Glad your dh went for a drive with her - I was going to suggest that or a walk with the pram! We had to do that once with our one year old recently, I know what you mean about thinking they are more robust with sleep now they aren't newborn but occasionally they surprise you!

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