My 6 year old daughter says she's always sad

[KateP]

Help! I'm feeling awful. My 6 year old daughter has just told me that she always feels sad and thinks she always will do. She doesn't know why, but can list a few sad things that have happened recently (elderly relatives dying, the fact that I'm going to die one day were two that stood out) but even she's not sure whether they are really any reason for how she feels. I'm just wondering if this is a "normal" stage that children around this age go through. Is there a sudden awareness of mortality and uncertainty around this age, or should I be worried and if so what should I do??!! I feel like crying!

If the elderly relative dying is her first experience of death then her sadness might be a reaction to that.

My father died when I was six and I remember that me and my brother and sister would endlessly discuss ways of dying. He had been decorating and so we talked a lot about wallpaper paste killing people - seems a bit funny now - but I also remember being terrified that my mother would also die and I would constantly question her about it.

I would just keep reassuring her and maybe do things that she likes doing to cheer her up.

kate remember 6 year olds concept of time is not reliable 'always' feeling sad and 'always will do' arent the same as an adult saying these things.. Does she act like shes always sad- or when she gets together with her frieds does she forget the sadness? If sad things have happened she may have some grief to deal with. She may be very bright and perceptive. The hard thing for you will be allowing her to express it without it becoming wallowing - and something she knows will press your buttons and get attention.

There's an excellent pack called 'greif encounter' by Shelley Gilbert ans is on Amazon. It helps adults help children deal with grief. Recommend it and not too expensive.

Ask what things make her feel happy - or help her to forget about feeling sad

Sorry to hear this Kate.
I remember when i was about her age, I used to cry myself to sleep for a long time, because of the understanding that my mum and dad were going to die. Just that, my parents were going to die , just like everyone else, and my little brain was lost in working out the implications. It was painful but when the realisation of mortality hits ,its hits hard.
I believe everyone goes through this , so you need to be extra supportive at this time (and for quite a bit longer )and explain how everyone goes away( in different ways) and new people come into your life. Your daughter doesn't cause it, doesn,t "deserve"it and you and everyone who loves her (helps if you can remind her of these) enjoy being with her soooo much.
Keep your eye on her, but remember, six year olds can be really hurt by a friend not playing with them one break, and then be right as rain when their other friend walks around the door.

Painfully Identifing with your child comes as part of the package of being a parent. hope this helps a bit.

I was like that Kate, one of the comments from my family is that in most childhood photo's I'm not smiling. I just always felt unhappy.....sometimes I could not put my finger on why I felt like that.

She may grow out of it, she may just grown up to be a tortured artist of some kind.

Hi KateP, this is a really old post but wondered if there was any update on this as im going through the same with my 6 year old now?

@HanReedusthe DD in question is probably around 25 now so it’s unlikely that the MNer in question is still around. You could always try an @ though to see if she is

Oh wow, there's me not realising 2006 was that long ago! Haha silly me. Thanks