Constant, petty bickering between sisters..at a loss - dh constantly furious with them.

[IHeartEnid]

I'm a bit of a softy parent really, one of those annoying 'come here and have a cuddle lets all talk about our problems' types. But when the dds (6 and 3) are bickering constantly, I tend to lose any vestiges of patience.

Do you punish? HOW do you punish if you don't know who is 'right'? Things like: "dd2 stop copying me" "dd1, dont push me with your foot" "MUMMEE, dd2 kicked me" "MUMMEE dd1 won't share her toys"

they seem to veer wildly between hating each other nd lovng each other - gorgeous dds on their own but together they are a nightmare. Dh has totally lost his patience and just bellows at them.

I am willing to believe behaviour is worse since arrival of dd3 9 weeks ago but would like some advice/support in dealing with it...

Last night I tried to read them a story in my bed while feeding dd3, dd2 started burrowing under the covers and dd1 kept pushing her with her foot, in the end I stopped reading adn sent them both to bed then felt wretched. I think I am just a walkover as a parent

dd1 went to bed after dd2 last night - i did bothe of them while dh looked after dd3, all worked very well, dd1 chuffed that she gest to stay up a bit later

same in our house

I remember me and dh saying "lets have them close together (22 month gap) they will play together"

hahahaahahahah

Yesterday, I left the room for 5 seconds and screams were heard from dd2. So I stormed in and said "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" to dd1 and she was in denial and getting upset. Then dd2 walks to the chair and points to her head and says "CHAIR!".

She had walked into the chair and I had automatically blamed dd1 .

Apologised and felt bad all day.

My mum used to say about me and my sister "you would fight over 2 dead flies on a windowledge" and it is sooooooooooooooo apt.

No solutions I am afraid!

xx

Oh, me too!

DD1 is 5, DD2 is 22 months and they bicker non stop.

I have started to leave them to get on with it, and I actually told (read shouted ) them last week that they could maul each other as much as they liked as I needed a cup of coffee in another room. No idea what they did!

If it's any help, DD1's teacher told me yesterday that she thinks age 6/7 is the worst age for girls, not 14/15!

ooh thats reassuring littlerach

Don't know if most are too young for this tip but we have found the most efective (for our nerves) solution to our dss' arguments is to make them sort it out by telling both there will be a punishment unless they can come up with a deal that they both agree on. E.g. Fight over a toy. Take toy away from both boys until they make a deal with each other on taking turns (or whatever) and come to me both agreeing what the deal is.

The other rather sadistic tactic dh and I enjoy when they have a big row and are furious with each other is asking them to decide each other's punishments (of course only when both are equally out of order.). It doesn't take them long to realise that if they give bro a big punishment bro will give them one back. Every time they miraculously make up and agree that neither of them deserve to be punished. Harmony restored

i was given this trick by a special needs helper and it does work, buy two different coloured mats/blankets big enough that they can happily play with whatever they want on them.and tell them each to choose a colour mat [or choose for them if this will provoke arguements] then tell them that they must only play with the items on their own mat and mustnt touch the other persons..if a toy is in the middle of the two rugs [neutral territory] they can choose to play with it.this seems suprisingly simple but its worked very well with my two and they like the idea of their own special rug which they can take out at any time if they want special time with a certain toy which they dont want to share at that time..good luck

I agree with that Shimmy. dds used to argue over eating their breakfast cereal with a particular spoon (kids have just got too much room in their heads) and I have told them that if they argue it will go in the bin. now most mornings they just chatter away "is it my turn with the little spoon" "no you had it yesterday" "oh yes. ok."

i found having a 3rd has really helped the dynamics between dd1 and dd2. they do get on well, and are only 17 months apart, but it's an intense relationship. And now there's a 3rd dd it does diffuse the tension, and vary who's playing with whom. it has definitely been one of the advantages of having 3. now they take turns who's sleeping with/playing with which sister.

@ both your girls wanting to be blossom, Enid... I would just say to them "Er helllo! What on earth are you arguing about, bananaheaded daughters of mine? Everyone knows that Buttercup is the best powerpuff girl."

Seriously, hope things were better today. Bickering must be very wearing when you've got a new baby, Nice advice on here, though.