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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2 year old waking & crying in night - all tried and tested techniques are failing!!

18 replies

sarahseager · 02/10/2013 07:40

Hi all,

I'm looking for suggestions and advice as our 2 year old has suddenly decided that she doesn't want to go to bed anymore and wakes frequently in the night. We have had minor blips like this before but alway very short lived and she has always generally slept well from about 10 months old.

The problem we are having now is that when she wakes up she screams and howls like you wouldn't believe! She has been in a big bed for a whole so she gets out of bed opens her door and runs into our room!

We have been trying all sorts of things to work it out but nothing seems to be working.

She is getting quite distressed sometimes as well and crying a lot and needs a lot of calming down which doesn't make more sleep come easily!

She also has a gro clock which had started to work really well but not she seems a bit afraid of - maybe because she has always slept in pitch black?

As you can probably tell I'm totally confused - I'm wondering if it's due to her having a cold or maybe developmental phase - just want to deal with it in the best way possible and not to cause any bad habits like having to stay with her!

We had been thinking about getting a stair gate for her room but I'm not sure how I feel about this as she would be trapped?! I think I'm preoccupied with her becoming afraid of stuff at the moment as she talks a lot about being afraid of things normally pictures that she decides she doesn't like.

Anyway....sorry for the long post, would love to hear any possible suggestions!

Thank you

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Original poster

sarahseager · 02/10/2013 07:44

Also just to add she is getting cross a lot lately and hitting out and scratching - she does understand when we tell her how she is feeling and she does say sorry but I'm wondering if there is something going on with emotions and development?

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Bumpsadaisie · 02/10/2013 10:15

Has she got her 2nd molars. They play havoc with everything

My son is 23 mths and just getting his. He's been sleeping well for ages but no longer. He's waking in the night or very early. A nightlight seems to have done the trick at bedtime itself - he is still happy to lie down and go to sleep. But when he wakes in the middle of the night he is v upset and just wants to come in bed with me. That's what we are doing while he is teething. I will give it another couple of weeks and if no improvement I'll start sitting with him when he wakes up until he learns to go back to sleep in his own bed. But at the mo when he's suffering with teeth there doesn't seem much point trying to do anything other than what results in most sleep for us all - if he comes in bed with me he goes straight back off.

Sycamore76 · 02/10/2013 11:33

My son is nearly two and is getting his molars too. He has been a good night sleeper ( although naps always crap) since we sleep trained him at five months. But recently oh my ! His sleep is rubbish and we are on day 7 of rubbish sleep with multiple wakings and half an naps. These teeth are so bad and like bump said mess everything up! To you think it's the teeth ?

cravingcake · 02/10/2013 14:21

We're going through this as well at the moment. DS is 23 months and has always been a really good sleeper. He used to go to bed fine, lights out and off to sleep without a mummur. Now he screams and howls, gets himself really worked up.

I was wondering if its a development stage thing, its like he's suddenly become very aware he's in the dark and is scared. I have ended up cuddling til he's calm and then sitting in his room (edging closer to the door) for up to 2 hrs in an evening to get him off to sleep. I have 2 friends with similar aged kids doing it as well and we are all at a loss as to what it is.

I did wonder if it was his back molars but i'm not sure. Maybe i'll try a pre-emptive calpol dose before bedtime to see if that helps but his screaming is not a pain sort of scream so doubt it will do much.

Sorry not much help but at least you are not alone.

Original poster

sarahseager · 02/10/2013 22:34

Thanks everyone I really appreciate your thoughts.

I actually think that it might be a teeth thing although I'm surprised I hadn't noticed before - she has just had about 6 through all at once and I had noticed her back molars were showing a bit but didn't think they were really coming - she has a cold too which always happens when she's teething and she has had her whole hand in her mouth today

I did also think about the developmental stage thing too - I reckon it's a combo of everything to be honest I hope it will all just disappear as quickly as it came.

I'm also going to make sure that she is awake by 3pm everyday after her nap - I think occasionally she has had too little time between nap and bedtime, we're focusing more on winding down too as part of her bedtime routine as I think this had just been forgotten in the rush to sometimes get her to bed!

Thanks again for your help, there is always something going on with them isn't there!! x

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fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 02/10/2013 22:37

Could well be night terrors..which is related to sleepwalking. ..they are almost awake but not quite and scream inconsolably.

My DD used to run around house with them. The thing to remember is they are not fully awake and will not remember the screamkng afterwards.

There is loads of info on google about them.

PoppyWearer · 02/10/2013 22:38

I would agree with the teething thing.

My DC2 is going through a hitting phase and I've noticed with him he always gets worse at hitting, biting etc when teething.

He is also screaming the place down some nights, until I force Calpol into him, then he is back asleep within minutes.

Locketjuice · 02/10/2013 23:21

My 21 MO is exactly the same at the moment and when I took him to the dentist (unrelated) he said has he been waking up lots screaming etc this was last week when it had only just started so I said no.. Then everyday since he has... The dentist jinxed it..

Kiwiinkits · 03/10/2013 02:38

Are you sure it's not worms? It is really really common amongst this agegroup (especially if they attend nursery or kindy) and can be very distressing.
A sure sign of worms is if they wake up crying and wriggling and complaining about an hour after they go to bed. And they won't stop.

Take a flash light, pull down their PJs, take a look for any white worms around their bum (or for girls, in their frontbum).

Original poster

sarahseager · 03/10/2013 07:33

We had another broken night last night - not so much crying but se seems to go through for about 5 hours from when she goes to bed and then she wakes up and comes into our room.

DH spent 1 hour 40 trying to return her to her room and she got upset at being left. She then kept saying 'Daddy watch me' because she didn't want to be left alone. So from about midnight she will sleep but only it we are there - she ended up coming into our bed as we all needed to get some rest - she slept so well when she was in our bed, was even asleep when my alarm went off which is normally unheard of!

I'm so hoping this is just a phase but I'm also worried about getting into bad habits!! I just struggle to understand where it all has come from?!

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Sycamore76 · 03/10/2013 09:27

I also had another broken night (day 8) ds up at 420am screaming mummy so I gave him calpol and warm milk and let him sleep on me. I too worry about bad habits but u really think they need the comfort , molars are so big and painful to come through. He didnt nap and would only go to bed at 830pm with calpol , nurofen and teething gel! Bright red cheek and eating hand yesterday. I think when all the teeth are through I will have to be tough but he may just start sleeping through again ! Let's hope we all get sleep soon ( I actually started a tread last week, two year molar hell) its very hard but caffeine will get us through it :-)

Original poster

sarahseager · 03/10/2013 09:40

It's so hard when they seem like they need the comfort - I have decided to just go with it as we all need the sleep!!

DH is going away with work for a couple of weeks from Monday so I can see lots of nights sleeping with Mummy coming up

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ipswichwitch · 03/10/2013 09:40

DS is also 2 and has molars coming through. I have noticed though that sometimes he wakes crying and a bit irritable, and others he wakes screaming and looking terrified which I believe is night terrors. When he's like that we pick him up for a cuddle and he's almost trying to climb through you nd won't let go so we bring him to bed with us. I spoke to his nursery key worker and she said a number of kids his age have night terrors (quite a few in her care at the minute).

I worry about getting him into bad habits by bringing him in be with us, but we've had to do this before when he's ill and we've never had issues getting him back into his own bed when its over. I think in our case it's maybe because he only comes in with us at some point during the night, but we always put him to bed at bedtime in his own room (watch me get proved wrong now!) if its an issue when this phase is over, we'll worry about it then, the main thing is to get through it!

Bumpsadaisie · 03/10/2013 09:50

Ipswich we are doing exactly the same as you at the mo. May it pass soon!

Sycamore76 · 03/10/2013 09:55

If my ds wakes before 3am I cuddle him to sleep on the single bed in his room and put him back in his cot when he is in a deep sleep but after 3am he always wakes when i try and do that so we sleep on the single bed. Even when he was poorly with hand foot and mouth recently it was never this bad ! He won't let DH near him in the night so it's always me getting up, it's exhausting but it has to improve soon ! We have one more molar to go. I do think they cry to get into bed with us as they need the comfort , ds really cl

Sycamore76 · 03/10/2013 09:58

Ah I phone ! Really clingy at moment during day too. Good luck!
Ps we had to get the single bed as when he was tiny he woke up every hour ! It was a nightmare .

Original poster

sarahseager · 03/10/2013 10:09

ipswichwitch I am in Ipswich - I'm assuming you are too?

Totally agree with going with it and just bringing them into bed - we too our able to put DD to bed just fine at naptime and bedtimes (apart from 1 incident the other day) so I'm pinning my hopes on it being a phase that will right itself in time

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ipswichwitch · 03/10/2013 10:32

sarahseager, I am from there but live the other end of the country now. Got the nickname from my little brother

I just tell myself that this is a phase and it will pass. Then plot revenge for when he's a teenager and all he wants to do is sleep and I will take great joy in blowing a horn every 2 hours and randomly poking him in the eye and see how e likes it! (evil mum!)

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