A very good child suddenly turning aggressive/not listening

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I have returned to mumsnet after years of not posting. When my child was a baby I had so much brilliant advice here. Now a child starting year2 who has always been a good boy has started never listening and also answering back rudely to me with some aggression. Has always been a true good boy and this behaviour is putting a strain on my relationship with his dad. I am in tears and don't know what to do. I think it is because school is ignoring him and just rewarding the naughty or feistier boys and he gets forgotten. Furthermore he says other kids are bossying him around..however I cannot accept him bossing me around. We have severely punished him by banning play dates and taking toys away but now are at a loss. How to stop a boy being rude to his mummy?

Help.

Hi,

I know you might be looking for some quick fix type advice but I really cannot recommend the book unconditional parenting ( alfie kohn ) enough and/or peaceful parents, happy kids ( laura markham).

You can read the UP book in about 3 days and although it might be difficult at 1st, you may find that it helps you understand why your son is behaving this way now.

Thank you..will def look it up!!!!!!
Thank you

well:
dd1-horrible aged 2.5 to 3
ds1-horrible aged 3.5 to 4
ds2-horrible aged 5-6
dd2 -waiting
being serious, try to remember these stages pass and they all go through them. Personally my advice is to be consistent, stay as you are, show you still love him and always be ready for him when he's ready to return. Try not to react, let off steam elsewhere but show him a calm face. Discpline as normal and love him, try and try again to take him out. I think ds2 spoilt a hundred trips out, but I persisted and he learnt to join in and be civil eventually following our lead and I developed the hide of a rhino

I would also wonder if he's having hearing issues. My ds has glue ear, and when it is bad he is much more agressive both in speech and physically. ENT said this is typical.
Goes along the lines of:
You say something.
He apparently isn't listening.
You raise your voice impatiently because he's not listens.
He responds now, but is cross because to him you got cross straight away...

They're very good at hiding it (ds taught himself to lipread) and often it isn't picked up until a hearing test-often with the parents saying "but he hears fine..."

He has been diagnosed with glue ear...VERY valid point!!!!!

You mumsnetters are truly wonderful