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I'm going so wrong. Help.

83 replies

Mondaybaby · 17/08/2013 14:36

A bit of background: My dd is almost 3. I am a single mum. dd is donor conceived so no father on the scene. I work 4days a week. dd has always been bright and spirited and loving and very much loved. I'm finding her ever incresingly bad and impossible to predict tantrums really hard to deal with and could do with some advice. The latest one just now has made me feel like I don't have a clue how to be a good mother. We'd had a quiet morning at home and she knew we were going to a friends birthday party this afternoon. She was watching a film and I told her she couldn't watch it all as we had to get ready to go but we'd watch it later. So at the time when I had to turn the tv off I told her what I was doing and turned the tv off. She started to scream. I approaced her saying something like come on dd, I told you we have to go. She then started to kick me. she kicks and hits me a lot when having meltdowns and it breaks my heart as I have never shown her this kind of behaviour although I admit that when she is tantrumming and behaving like this I have to bite my lip to retain my self control. I can't believe the anger that descends on me when she is out of control and I feel almost out of control too. Anyway, I tried to make her sit on the naughty step which is something I told her about only yesterday. But she wriggled and screamed and kicked until I had to let her go. she ran into the front room and j sat in her room as I needed to calm down. she was hysterically crying. After 5 mins I went calmly into her and tried to calm her down. but it made her worse. She was sobbing. I eventually got her into her push chair and she wanted to sleep. She calmed down but went all withdrawn and looked shocked and exhausted. I feel ill with worry that I am fucking her up and that this is only going to get worse. Some days she is delightful and she is extremely well behaved at nursery. she saves this behaviour just for me. I never thought my child would be like this. I am exhausted and I love her so much. what do I do?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
pictish · 18/08/2013 20:46

Well done monday! You done good!
I totally agree that having that bit more confidence would have helped a lot.
Good work fella! x

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 18/08/2013 21:30
Smile
Mondaybaby · 18/08/2013 21:34

I will report back how tomorrow goes. I'm finding the support here very therapeutic. Not so alone in all this.

OP posts:
Mondaybaby · 19/08/2013 20:56

Today was good. Dd woke after almost 12 hours of good quality sleep in a fab mood. I kept reminding her of the behaviour I expected and the consequences that would follow if she didn't do what I asked. When she did as she was told I praised her but not too ott. Got her asleep by 8pm so almost an hour earlier than most Monday nights. She wasn't perfect but that's ok. But there were no tantrums today!!!

OP posts:
MumnGran · 19/08/2013 20:59

Way to go Monday
And you sound a lot happier, and positive.

Plus an hour extra 'you' time
Have some Wine

AndIFeedEmGunpowder · 19/08/2013 21:21

Good news Smile

shiningcadence · 19/08/2013 22:33

Well done :)

breatheslowly · 19/08/2013 22:38

Well done - it takes real nerve to move bedtime back as it feels unlikely to work, but it clearly has worked.

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