18 month old cries A LOT. I am on edge and miserable.

[Gyllenhaalic]

This might come out as one giant rant so I apoligise in advance.

My DS has always been what I would describe as a grumpy baby. I don't like labelling him but he has earned a bit of a reputation as being a cryer. It makes me sad but it's always him who's whinging and crying.

He is beautiful and can for very brief periods of the day be smiley and loving but these moments are few and far between.

He spends a good amount of his time with a frown and fake crying. Whinging and whining which can quickly escalate to all out screaming and sobbing.

I never really know why he's crying. Sometimes he will smile and laugh and then it just turns into a whinge.

He seems very frustrated. He's not yet walking and is receiving physiotherapy due to weak ankles. I think this could be adding to his frustration.

The problem is, it just seems that every little thing seems to tip him over the edge. He will literally just be sat and I'll sit and talk to him, he'll start to moan and crawl off crying.

If we close a door, he'll cry because he wanted it open. If he sees something he wants he'll cry. to be fair he has got about 30 words which he will use but he will say 'cup', before we've even had chance to pass him the cup he's crying for it.

I am at a loss as to what to do.

He will get up in the morning and whinge to come downstairs. Whinge in his high chair all through breakfast. Stand at the front window pointing and saying 'dar' (car) and then cries because we're not going in the car.

We were at a childrens party today and every person commented on how grumpy he was which just breaks my heart. I have started to make excuses for him and pretend he's teething or ill just because I feel so inadequate saying 'he's always like this.'

He was a grumpy baby who screamed and we've been back and forth to doctors and paediatrician incase of reflux. Tried him on Ranitidine and gaviscon but that didn't work. I cut out dairy from his diet for months, that didn't do anything either. Out of sheer desperation I took him to an Osteopath but again that didn't help.

We take him out and as long as the pushchair is moving he's relatively happy (well, he's not crying or moaning). I read to him but he gets annoyed and tries to snatch the book and gets frustrated with it. I play with him but he ends up getting frustrated with toys and throwing them accross the room and then whinging. How do I deal with this?

I just feel all out of ideas with him. I don't understand him and I just want him to be happy.

Is this normal? I keep thinking he must have something developmentally wrong with him. I scare myself by googling things and have come up with all kinds of sensory processing disorders/ autism/ extra chromosome diseases! The problem is that he's not predictable so I can never tell what will make him kick off and start crying so it's not one set thing that he hates or triggers him. He just seems unhappy.

Any ideas as to what's going on with him and how I can help him?

I'm so scared that he will always be like this and I'll have to walk on eggshells with him forever.

I am also going through this with my 18 month old. I’m absolutely exhausted, worried & feeling very down.
I dread waking up because I know it’s going to be a day of constant crying and tantrums.
Does anyone have any answers 🙏🏻 I’m petrified it’s going to be like this for years and mentally I can’t do it.
I stare at the door and daydream about running away while my Ds screams in the background.
I love my children so much but I can’t take much more.

Hi there,
I am currently having these same problems with my 17 month old.
How are things with you 8 months on?
😊

I know this thread is years old and @Gyllenhaalic I would love to know how your now 9 or 10 year old is!
My son was also a super whingy baby and toddler, would get very frustrated, tantrum, grizzle, very low tolerance threshold.
I assumed he would be a grump of a child but no! He’s 11 now and he’s lovely! However, he still gets frustrated if he can’t do things, but now he says “wow this is super frustrating” instead of flinging things. He’s very academically ahead and is also extremely articulate and honestly I think he just hated being a baby and not being able to do anything. I would say by about 3 or 4 when he could accurately express what he wanted it improved hugely and the other thing that REALLY helped was talking to him like an older child and giving him the words to express himself, so Id say “oh it looks frustrating when the blocks fall down” or “I think you’re annoyed that I don’t know exactly what you want”, -and also making sure I always told him what we were doing and when (“when you’ve finished your banana we’re going to wash hands and then go to the park” “we’re going to do 10 more pushes on the swing and then get off and you can go on the slide or the climbing frame”).
He responds very well to boundaries, routines and timetables (so thrives at school!).

Hi! Wow I haven’t been on here for years, just got an email saying I’d been mentioned haha.

Your son sounds lovely! Very much like mine now actually. He’s 10 years old and is extremely laid back in many ways (almost to the point of laziness in fact) however he is also extremely independent. He’s a very good reader and extremely into documentaries! He sounds exactly like your son in the fact that he still has a low tolerance for frustration. He hates feeling he ‘can’t’ do something. He can get quite moody over his own limitations which can be tricky to manage. However now he’s older it’s much easier to explain to him and listen to his frustrations. I agree with you that he probably like your son just hated being a baby. His personality was not compatible with being non verbal and immobile! He does well at school due to being an avid reader and loves talking. He really is quite confident. However his handwriting is atrocious but we are working on it haha.

Nice to hear from someone who has been through the same experience as us really. At the time it felt like we were in a very long tunnel. It’s so nice to be out of it now and looking back it was all worth it!

Wow- I relate to 100% of your post, and I am hoping you’re still around to let me know how you and your child are today?

I was also notified about this thread and must have been following it in 2017/18 re my baby boy who cried all day and hated everybody and everything! It was horrendous! And unlike my first baby who was settled and normal! Fast forward he is now just turned 5 and is an absolute sweetheart and the happiest boy in the world!

I absolutely relate to the notion that he hated being a baby - thats my theory and so interesting to hear others say it too.
He is very bright and the nursery said jokingly that he could skip the first year of school and go straight to the second year, but not really joking. This doesn't surprise me as when he was a baby I said I dont think his brain is normal and he might end up being a genius, thats why he hated being a baby so much! Like Stewie from Family Guy!
He's had a couple of occasions where he has regressed back to being very grumpy, controlling and ranting about how much he hates everything, lasting a few weeks We were worried but I put it down to him going through a cognitive leap as he came out the other side with new skills etc.
To any mums of these types of babies - please hang in there because if you can be there to nurture your baby's grumpiness and moods and just be there for them, accept that they are a bit different but it wont last forever and you will come out the other side with an amazing child!

Thanks for coming back with an update, it’s so hopeful.

When my son was about 2 and super tantrummy and stroppy, I was trying to put together some toy or other and I kept getting it wrong and feeling like I wanted to fling it out of the window and it was a lightbulb moment for me where I thought “omg this must be what he feels like so much of the time” - like how annoying it would be to be pretty rubbish at everything, spilling drinks, dropping food, everything being a frustrating struggle!
Now that he’s nearly 12, he still does find it frustrating when he isn’t immediately good at things, but he has the language to express that.
He also plays tennis and so understands the concept of having to practice something for ages before you get good at it (the violin was good for this too!)
So for those mums of stroppy babies - hang in there and see the world from their eyes. They’re super pissed off that they can’t make the tower stay up, or that they’ve knocked their cup over AGAIN or that you don’t understand that the red shirt is totally unacceptable.
My son has a very clear mind of his own, I never worry about peer pressure and although he can still get frustrated, he’s a determined, hard working boy who is on the debating team (I could have predicted this), is House Captain, is on an academic decathlon team and happily shouts “by mum, love you!” in front of all his friends if he gets dropped at school.

Omg! I literally made an account because I found this thread and feel like I could have written the OP myself! 😭 16 month old exactly as OP described - except he loves being social and constantly wants stimulated.

How are you now? Please tell me it gets better.

So, I posted on here when my son was 7 months old. He's 5 now. He has recently being diagnosed with ADHD and ASD... but he is wonderful, incredibly smart, and is doing very well in school. Apart from him getting over-anxious and over-emotional about things, he's really easy.

@OneDreamyFawn i just got notified of a new comment on here as it seems I posted on here back on 2017. I couldn't believe it when I read my post, thinking "surely my son wasn't like that", but he was indeed. Every day was so difficult to get through. And now he is so wonderful that I had a hard time believing it was ever possible. He is now 8 and is the most loving, sensitive, clever kid I know. Every day with him is a joy.

Basically what Im saying is, it WILL get better. I promise. I'm so sorry to anyone going through this as I remember the feeling and absolute hopelessness. One day it will be a distant memory but sadly I can't tell you when that day will be. Take it one day at a time. Lean on those around you. Take the breaks that you need. Scream in the shower if it helps. Rant and rave as much as you need. I know that one day you'll come back on this thread and think the same thing I did. Sending love 💓

I have an 18 month old and feel exactly the same ! Just seemed grumpy from day one . Has moments of silliness and giggles and smiles but can go days or weeks without this . I’m off on a Monday and Friday with him and I try and do different classes but they just seem to be a disaster as he gets frustrated and it ends in tears . He just seems so moody all of the time and it’s so tiring as feel I can’t do anything or go anywhere with him .

Honestly you could be describing my son at the same age (see my previous posts) I couldn't take him to any baby/toddler groups without him crying/whinging/ruining it - so depressing! He despised people singing too! I gave up in the end and realised his no 1 favourite thing was for me to push him round tesco every day in the trolley....so I just bought a few bits every day. He wanted me all to himself and didn't want anyone else irritating him with their babyish nonsense. Fast foward he is now 7 years old and an absolute joy, the light of my life. All the hard work paid off as he is very emotionally regulated. My new friends think im lying (and laugh) when I explain he used to be a nightmare. He is an angel, and smiley and charming, and popular with other kids. He occasionally goes through intense moody patches of a few weeks, during a major physical growth spurt (eg just before age 7) but he comes out the other side so we just accept it and support him through it. Hope this helps, just hang in there (as I've said before) it will be ok in the end. Just give him all the love and support you can (although its unbelievably difficult when it is relentless crying and grumpiness!)

I found this (very old!) thread when I googled why does my 18m cry all the time and I just really felt I had to thank those posters who came back to say things got better. My DS cries from the moment he wakes and then throughout the day. He never stops crying or whinging apart from brief sunny moment. He seems very clever (plenty of words, far more than his DB had at the same age) but so grumpy all the time. There are days when I have to just go to a quiet place and have a little cry or silent scream at how awful it can be. It was honestly just to good to read how much everyone’s children improved and to read that other people have been in the same situation.

My son is exactly the same and soo frustrating, does it get better? Makes me just want to stay home