punishment for a two year old

[mummykayxx]

well, have an absolute nightmare of a child atm. kicking headbutting screaming paddying shouting being extremely destructive not sleeping. I just can't get anything done! I need to grt him back inline lol but how?? he doesn't understand me yet so I cant explain these things are wrong. We live in a flat (no naughty step) and I'm wondering what everyone else does? Driving me crazy!

Please consider going to your doctor's surgery, someone there should be able to direct you to a support team at the local children's centre. There could be a parenting course that might give ideas.

Just like coming on here there's no shame in asking for help or support.

In the meantime cut out any sugary treats or pop if he has it, that might reduce the 0-60 'Duracell bunny' energy surges. Is the lack of sleep a recent thing?

I don't think a two year old should be punished. Rewarded for good behaviour, and ignored when being horrible, but that doesn't count as punishment in my book.

He would understand you if you explain that evenings are for adults, and good children go to bed. Get a good bedtime routine going - bath, story, cuddle, lights out etc, at a nice decent time 6.30 - 7ish. Then lights out and say something like "Mummy will be back in a minute, I'm just going to tidy the kitchen". Go back every 5 mins or so.

Keep a nice calm atmosphere (not easy I know) and always go back if you promise.

Also, lots of fresh air and excercise during the day will help with sleeping.

I'm sure that with sufficient sleep, all the other problems will start to resolve themselves.

he has never ever slept! doesn't have suggary things (only a small amount once a week). hes only just two and hes quite slow on his speech so he doesn't understand if I explain things to him, just get screeching and tantrums. hes at the stage where he thinks hes a big boy but cant communicate with me. so hard :/

Being slow at speaking doesn't mean he doesn't understand you. He'll understand your tone of voice anyway, even if not every word.
Be firm, and consistent. It may take a few nights, but it will work.

mummykay I don't think speech is the issue - children understand a lot more than they can say. DS (2.5) speaks pretty much fluently, but when he's screeching/tantrumming, he doesn't actually care what I'm saying.

Like Proudneath I'd suggest routine, and sticking to that routine. When DS was younger I did the '15-minute-rule' - where you build up to leaving them for 15 minutes, from 5. For 2 nights he screamed for the entire 15 minutes, until I came to get him, then again, but after that he has gone to bed absolutely fine and on nights he's unsettled I just say, "If you're still awake in 15 minutes, I'll come and get you" - always do it, and it will build trust.

Could you start to tackle this at the weekend, say on a Friday night you and DP can be a tagteam, take it in turns to put him back to bed?

please don't punish him when he needs you most
maybe you could try love bombing? do you spend a lot of time one-on-one with him? you say he can't communicate with you which seems unusual for a two year old, even when speech is not good, two year olds are usually understood by their mothers. have you had his development looked at by the HV?

I've got a booster seat that we use as naughty step/chair. Doesn't have to be a step. Use a cushion? Just same one, same place. Then as super nanny says.

Have you tried getting him to have a time out for him to calm down so things don't escalate? Not using it as a punishment but could say that you see he is getting upset so you'll give him a couple of minutes to calm down.

As an aside, my dd was late developing her speech due to glue ear but she acted up because she was frustrated that she couldn't communicate. It helped to teach her how to ask for help so she didn't flip and then descend into tantrum central.

I also try to distract her if I can see she's about to blow, she's very physical so quickly change pace to get her doing something active which sometimes works.

Good luck, deep breaths & buckets of patience x.

Poor you, sounds exhausting. Why don't you google ahaparenting. Com, sorry I can't link. You will find loads of support and practical advice on how to parent without punishing.

Good luck!

I think the sleep thing is the issue. I can only imagine how much worse and fraught everything must seem when you're do exhausted. If I were you I'd post in the 'sleep' topic, I've seen some lovely helpful posts in there.

Tbh the rest is fairly standard 2yo stuff (and I do think it will calm down a bit once the sleep is more sorted). It's a pretty bloody frustrating age. They don't really know what they want, they don't really know how to tell you what it is they don't know if they want, but they're damn sure they want it!

I find, if my DS is having a really angry day, that it helps to make a note each time he has a hissy fit. When you see the. Written down its very hard not to laugh.

Example day
Tuesday last week, reasons DS was filled with rage

• because he couldn't pick up the book he was standing on.
• because I gave him the cereal bar he asked for.
• because he fell over the dog's leg 3 times in 5 seconds.
• because he didn't want me to change his nappy.
• because I didn't change his nappy......

You get the picture

We have a naughty blanket. No step required. Blanket goes on the floor and he sits on that.