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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Are 5 year olds meant to be this awful?

21 replies

Unlurked · 15/07/2013 19:48

My 5 year old DD is being extremely challenging at the moment! When she's being nice she is lovely, caring, funny, clever, thoughtful and all that wonderful stuff, but she seems to spend an awful lot of time terrorising her 3 year old sister, hurting her and scaring her, then laughing manically about it .

I'm feeling exhausted with it now and I'm really hoping that lots of you are going to come and tell me that this is totally normal 5yo behaviour and she'll stop any day now

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Secretswitch · 15/07/2013 19:52

I am at my wits end with my 5 yr old dd too! She terrorises the cats, also laughs like a loon, and then cries when you pull her up on it. She deliberately does things I have asked her not to do. Actually, will look you right in the face whilst she does them. At the moment she is hopping like a deranged sparrow from sofa to sofa. I am crumpled on the floor in despair.

Original poster

Unlurked · 15/07/2013 20:07

I'm so glad I'm not alone!

I drew her a picture of a very cross face the other day to show her how angry I was that she had hurt her sister so she decided to draw some faces of her own and every time she has done the manic laughter since then she points to her crying face on the bit of paper . She doesn't seem to have any control over herself at all when she gets like that.

I put her to bed at 6.30pm tonight cos I couldn't deal with any more!

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Secretswitch · 15/07/2013 20:18

Unlurked, when you put her to bed does she stay? We are having a time getting dd to stay in her bedroom. Last night she was off to bed at 7 but up until 10 with all the shenanigans. We have tried coaxing, bribing, punishment..nothing seems to work.
I am sad to say we are being outwitted by our 5 yr old child!

PoppyWearer · 15/07/2013 20:21

Mine is being grotty at the moment, I'm putting it down to end-of-term tiredness and also the weather.

Original poster

Unlurked · 15/07/2013 20:24

If it wasn't for the fact that I never get a minutes peace from her I would think we were sharing a child!

We put her to bed sometime between 7 and 8 o'clock but she never falls asleep before 9pm. She's not too bad for actually getting up, she usually pops through a couple of times but she goes back when we tell her to. I don't think she can be getting enough sleep but how do you force them to sleep?!?

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StrawberrytallCAKE · 15/07/2013 20:25

I'm laughing at the idea of all these little girls laughing like loons. My almost 5yo dd has also got an attack of the crazies. She keeps asking questions, constantly, about everything I say. My throat is sore from answering her.

She is also terrorising her 7mo younger sister who seems to enjoy it, two inches is not enough personal space for a 7mo, I keep telling her but nothing seems to work. Today we went shopping and in every shop she found something to hide behind so I panicked she'd got lost then she jumped out and laughed at me.

She made dh give her a lipstick 'tattoo' this morning!?

Original poster

Unlurked · 15/07/2013 20:30

Mine isn't at school Poppy so it can't be that. I don't think the weather is helping tbh but she was like this before it got sunny

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Secretswitch · 15/07/2013 20:32

What is the deal with our girls? My dd talks CONSTANTLY. Just constant jabber about any thought that crosses her mind. Her older db and ds actually yell at her to Shut Up ( which does nothing to calm things down)
I love my child so much, but I am exhausted and strung out by the end of the day. She is the highest maintainance child in the family. What do you all do to keep your sanity?

Original poster

Unlurked · 15/07/2013 20:34

Hide in a cupboard with a bottle of wine secretswitch

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missusmrs · 15/07/2013 20:35

Same here. We had a small breakthrough the other day when in a quiet moment I asked why/what was going on and that I loved having good DS around as he was so funny/helpful and a big boy ready for reception etc. Moments later he pushed his brother over-again (!) But instead of laughing, fell on floor and wailed ' mummy I just can't make the naughtiness go away!' (Made me ache for him!) Since then I have tried with some success referring to 'chasing the naughtiness away' when he acts up, he seems to like the 'team' approach and the fact we have made naughtiness a tangible thing....still has his moments mind you, but life has calmed down a bit....

StrawberrytallCAKE · 15/07/2013 20:37

Yes....the wine.

The bath always keeps her contained calms her down too.

Original poster

Unlurked · 15/07/2013 20:37

It's the laughter that really winds me up Strawberrytall! Argh!

My dd seems to be fine with kids that are the same age or older than her but put her near a younger child and she is just uncontrollable!

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Secretswitch · 15/07/2013 20:40

Yes! The bathtub is where she seems happiest!
makes plans to bath dd whilst chugging heavily from wine bottle

Original poster

Unlurked · 15/07/2013 20:42

That's good missus. My dd is always so apologetic if we talk about it when she's calm but it doesn't make any difference

She's recently started asking me if I don't like her anymore or if I don't like her when she's hurting dd2 which makes me feel terrible for her. I found myself saying "I like //you// I just don't like your BEHAVIOUR" which is something I remember my mum saying to me when I was older than 5 but I didn't understand it. In fact I probably only really understand it now! I don't know how else to say it to dd though

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Original poster

Unlurked · 15/07/2013 20:47

I find the bath really good too but I can't bath both dd's at the same time anymore (because dd1 goes insane which means the bathroom gets soaked, I get soaked and I have a very real fear for dd2's safety!) so it all takes forever and I have whichever child isn't in the bath moaning because they aren't in the bath.

We go swimming a lot and dd1 is great in the pool but is a manic laughing nightmare as soon as we get to the changing room.

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Secretswitch · 15/07/2013 20:59

Tis very disheartening sometimes. I feel the same way. I want her to understand it is her behaviour I am upset with. She is mostly an engaging and happy child. Her nursery teacher suggested she just needs lots of activity and encouragement. I get that. I also have two other children that need some mum time. We also have limited financial means at this time. I wish I could enroll her in gymnastics or dancing, but not a possibility right now. The summer seems like it is going to be endless..

BeaLola · 15/07/2013 21:00

So glad it's not jut mine !
Tonight has gone to sleep nicely as I decided to extend bedtime now is lighter to 8pm and he is well away.
The silliness/naughtiness bits are getting shorter and he is so sad afterwards - the other day he said mummy I don't knw why but I just have a bad mood...

BuwchBywiog · 15/07/2013 21:09

Mine is a little cow at the moment as well, awkward for the sake of being awkward, most annoying little thing ever! Drives me insane!

BikeRunSki · 15/07/2013 21:12

My nearly 5 yo DS is the same! He starts school in September (birthday is the first week of term) and none of us can wait, especially not poor terrorised DD (nearly 2).

Original poster

Unlurked · 15/07/2013 21:12

We've always had to make sure she gets tonnes of exercise, I've been walking her daily since she was big enough to walk she goes to a few sporty class things but if she's in the crazy zone when she goes there's really no point in taking her cos she's just awful!

I read the How To Talk So Kids Will Listen book recently and I think that has helped me deal with her but I need to read it again to refresh my memory. It's so hard to think about how to react when there's a 5 year old laughing in your face.

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Jbck · 15/07/2013 21:25

If mine isn't whinging she's manic. Driving me round the bend at the moment.
I need to keep her occupied and full of food all day to keep her on a more even keel.
At school she is an angel and a delight to have in the class, clearly she gets it all out at home. Now its holiday season here she can be boners all the time
No real solutions as I've tried rewards, bribery and everything in between but they all seem to lose effect after a while.

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