DD misbehaving (hitting other children) at daycare and getting bitten in response

[Want2bSupermum]

Rather concerned about DD at daycare and we are not sure how to proceed and if we should put her in another smaller daycare or seek a nanny.

On Monday DD was sent home with an incident report stating she had been bitten again (this is the 4th time). After calling them yesterday I was able to speak to the new girl covering the classroom (not pleased about this either but that is for another thread). Apparently DD has been trying to take books/toys off other children and will hit the other children sometimes.

I am very concerned about DD's behaviour. At home she started throwing things around and she tried to hit DH and myself about 6 months ago. We spoke to daycare and they said she didn't do it there. Our paediatrician said to use 123 magic at home and it worked really well. They also said her speech wasn't where it should be so she might be struggling with frustration of not being able to speak. Her ears were checked and hearing was impaired so we had tubes put in. Her speech has improved but it is 90% babble at this stage.

I am not sure what we can do at home to reinforce that her poor behaviour at daycare isn't acceptable. She plays well with other children (our friends and neighbours children) and even makes a special effort to stroke the baby/dog but clearly this doesnn't happen at daycare.

Any ideas on how to go about fixing this are very welcome.

How old is she?

She will be two in a week.

Anyone with words of wisdom? I presume it is a stage but one I want to move along from pronto.

Yes, it is most likely a stage. And at the age of 2 there is little you can do about her behaviour at nursery. Just keep on reinforcing your rules at home about treating people kindly, asking for toys (can she say an approximation to 'please' yet?) and taking turns.

What you can do, though, is to work closely with staff at the daycare setting. Ask for more info on what's happening- is it a particular toy, a particular time of day (e.g before nap time when she's tired). And ask how they intend to deal with it to keep all the children safe- do they need to stay closer to your DD when she's tired, or distract her from playing with a certain child?

Thank you for your reply. I called daycare on my way home to set up an appointment with the director. I was wholly unimpressed with the new teachers approach to DD's behaviour and her being bitten. Her attitude was 'your DD is a nightmare'. I told them that her naps at home are at 10am and for at least 2hrs while at daycare she doesn't sleep until 12pm and naps are rarely over an hour. I took a look through the incident reports tonight. Funnily enough biting incidents have happened just before nap time.

The dr also checked DS and said he isn't getting enough tummy time. He has a huge dent on the back of his head.