12 month DD not hitting milestones

[worrybynature]

So my DD turned 1 at the beginning of June. She has always been delayed, she couldn't sit confidently unsupported until a few weeks before she was 10 months. She can't crawl, she can roll, certainly can't walk but likes to stand holding my hands. She can't sit up from lying down, doesn't cruise, isn't confident enough to stand cruise or even stand holding onto the sofa. She doesn't point, clap, wave or copy any physical actions. She can copy sounds like sighing and kissing sounds when I do them to her. She as no words at all. She does know who mummy and daddy are and she looks for us if asked where we are. She does babble lots, although usually with the sound 'dadada' or 'nanana' - there is not a lot if variation with the sounds she makes. She doesn't seem to understand much I say to her, and a lot of the time ignores me when I say her name. Does this sound normal?

It's very hard to say. It could all very well be within the normal range. One of my children didn't speak until 18 months; but babbling is a positive sign.

Have she been checked by the health visitor? Maybe take her to the GP? Also ask for a hearing check.

I'm worried because it seems to be she is delayed in everything, physically and speech/understanding. She hasn't seen anyone since she was 5 months when I got her weighed - I mentioned my concerns about head control/ sitting to the HV who said not to worry.
Just wondered if this was anything anyone had experienced, and what the outcome was.
Btw I think she can hear, because she always looks in the direction of sounds, it's more that i don't think she recognises her name as being her?

My DD was 2 this month and I think she's only just realised her name. This time last year I was worried about DD as she was nowhere near walking, now she runs everywhere and we have to go out twice a day at least.
DD was nowhere near saying mama or dada last year, I still think she's behind in her speech but we were getting newborn DS checked last week and I mentioned my concerns to the HV and she said she thought DD was talking loads for her age.
It's hard not to worry but I had to put the books away and try and forget what they said. Speech wise it helps me to remember my brother didn't speak til he was 3.5 and has no issues now.
Kids develop at different rates, maybe speaking to a HV would help put your mind at ease x

She should be due her one year check around now. I would book in with the HV for it and discuss your concerns for peace of mind.

Health visitors do a great job, but I think you should see your GP as well.

Even though my children were all late talkers, they were all waving, clapping, pointing certainly by the age of one.

Ds didn't babble much and he has a type of dyspraxia.

Oh dear.

In my borough we don't have a 1 year check, just had to fill in a questionnaire.

There is clearly something quite serious wrong with her :(

If there is no HV check, then definitly take her to the GP. As others have said, they might very well put your mind at ease.

Not necessarily. My DS is 15 month and only started clapping this week. He does point or wave. He copies facial expression and sounds. He is under multiple paediatricians and none are concerned. Definitely see your GP and try not to worry

Nothing, did you mean he does, or doesn't point or wave?

Doesn't, sorry...no pointing or waving here. He doesn't always respond to his name either. He's very smiley and interactive, will copy faces & laughs at your jokes etc but doesn't really say words. Babbles a lot.

My MIL is a special needs teacher and says they all develop differently. Definitely see your GP, it will put your mind at rest.

My DS is nearly 16mo and only pointed at 14 mo and is still learning clap and wave so I think Keldea's post could worry you unecessarily. However, on the movement stuff I would see someone, if nothing else to put your mind at rest.

Ok thank you. She interacts with me, laughs at things I do, and things the cat does! She is very frustrated as she can't move or explore and it breaks my heart a bit as it isn't something I can teach her :(

Milestones are the 'average', not the expected.

If she is progressing at what seems a steady rate, than she should be fine.

A health check for any obvious (to a GP!) problems would probably reassure you - there can sometimes be reasons for some developmental delays. DS1 has had speech development problems but that's because he was ill so frequently that he was partially deaf for much of his second year. With a bit of speech therapy I don't think he will be able to tell any difference between his and other childrens' speech.

My DS2 was a bit like this. He didn't sit til 9 months, didn't crawl til 14 months. Before that he just rolled everywhere. He is 18 months now and still not walking. I was very worried because my DS1 was very forwards with his motor skills and interaction so it was a big shock.

We ended up at 12 months getting a referral to the paediatrician who x rayed his legs and hips to make sure no joint problems, everything was fine. He also had a blood test for muscular dystrophy which again was all clear. He was then however, diagnosed with mild hypermobility in his lower body (double jointed) so he struggles to make his joints lock into position for walking, sitting etc. He's having physio once a week. Since 12 months he's learned to crawl properly, pulling up and slowly shuffles and cruises around the furniture. Still no independant walking though but I am hopeful it won't be too long now.

His communication skills were about the same as your DDs at 12 months. Does she point, wave, clap? (again don't panic if not because the actual age is any time before 18 months). DS2 could point and did know his name but didn't seem to understand anything we said. He couldn't understand instructions or point to something when we asked where it was etc. Again such a shock as DS1 could point to everything we asked, point to body parts, lights, microwave, go find his socks, cup all by 12 months. DS2 is only just getting to that point now at 18 months.

I don't think you need to worry but I do think that an assessment, if only to put your mind at rest would be beneficial. For us, I'd rather have got DS2 the help and physiotherapy he needed early, than wait around and then feel guilty. Good luck x

My dd is almost 18 months. She didn't sit up or crawl until 13 months and first pulled up to stand at 16 months. She wouldn't walk holding our hands until a few weeks ago - and is now walking independently :-) I have been so worried about her, and she even had an MRI on her brain recently - which was all clear :-) She was much like your lo at 12 months, but now has about 20-30 words, points, waves and claps, copies lots of things we do and clearly understands much of what we say. I am not worried about her now at all :-) She still gets physio, but she was 'in the system' as she was in SCBU for a while after she was born.

Sorry, my point is - there could be an underlying issue - none of us can say for sure that there isn't. But there is also a very good chance that all is fine :-)

If its any consolation my DS only rolled once and only started commando crawling 2 weeks before he started to walk. Yes he was frustrated but on the bright side I could leave him for a few mins and go and make a drink . He's now 9 and very sporty and doing fine. Some babies just don't crawl.

If she is walking while holding on that is a positive too, it means she can stand up, so that might rule out things like hip problems.

Speech could be within the range of normal too. My dd could only put 2 words together until she turned 3 then suddenly started coming out with sentences. We had mentioned it to the HV who said she was fine.

Like others have said though, book in with your GP. I think the least you should expect is for them to arrange ax hearing test for your Lo.

Oh and my Dsister and coincidently my Dh both didnt walk or talk until they were over 2. Both have degrees and professional jobs. It really might be nothing.

Dd1 didn't crawl til she was 15 months and didn't start walking til she was 18 months, she started sitting by herself around 13 months. She never really did the clapping thing, she would play wind the bobbin up with a sheldon-esqu look of 'haughty derivision(sp)' on her face!

She was babbling and could identify daddy, nana, doggy but if you asked her where mummy was she would give you this look then laugh her head off. She didn't say mummy until she was nearly 19mo, I was everything but mummy!

Dd2 is different as there are (or so it would seem) actual issues with her so I can't really give you a comparison there.

I think the advice of going to the doctors is the best way, if you feel like there could be real issues, call your hv and ask her to come out to see you and get a referral to physio who will check for any physical issues.

Having said that, I'm not sure if there are, she is interacting well and babbling is a good sign, obviously I'm don't know your dd.

Good luck with everything and I'm sure she'll be fine :)

worry, it might be nothing, it might be something.

I have a child with SN and if I can give you one bit of advice iit would be to follow your gut instinct.

You seem to be concerned, so make an appointment with the GP (from my experience, HV are pretty useless when it comes to developmental delays) and take things from there. good luck

Thanks all, you are really helping.

Can I ask, those with DCs with SN, what were your babies like at 12 months?

my Dd was hitting her motor milestones (was crawling/cruising but not walking) but no waving, pointing, clapping, imitation, no words and very limited understanding of language.the communication was just not there but she was smiling, laughing and bubbling loads. she has a dx of autism.

having said that, i have friends with DC who were similar to Dd and they are all fine now.

12 months is still young. but follow your instincts. just get your Dd checked over by the GP. hopefully you will find that reassuring. and if your Dd does need support than better to get the ball rolling sooner than later. waiting lists are endless.

Thanks for being honest. I love my dd and if she isn't 'normal' nothing will change, just as you say, we would need to get the ball rolling. I think she tried to imitate me clap yesterday (have been a clapping pointing lunatic recently) but it could just be wishful thinking.

Your DD sounds a lot like mine (she is now 2 years 10 months)

I took my DD to the HV when she was not crawling / bum shuffling or even rolling at 14 months (she was also not pointing, clapping, or saying any words at all, but did play with toys appropriately, and did smile and copy some things I did). We were told to go to the GP to make sure there was nothing wrong with her hips, and then referred to a physiotherapist and also a developmental pediatrician. Turns out our DD has hyper mobility syndrome (which is being double jointed all over your body, not that uncommon) and needed the physio to get her going with her gross and fine motor skills milestones. She was able to catch up, and was walking before her second birthday (JUST!). When she started hitting the physical milestones, she also seemed to catch up a little with her language miles stones, and the developmental Paed, who had said when she first assessed her at 15 months, that she was between 6 and 12 months behind on her development, said at age 2, she was just about within the normal range (at the bottom end, but still).

I still personally wonder if at some point DD will be diagnosed with some learning difficulties, as she has a few quirks which I do not see in other children her age and her language is still at the very bottom end of the developmental scale for her age (if not slightly delayed), but she certainly does so much more now than I ever thought she would when she was 14 months and the process started.

It is so easy to panic and read about things like autism and so on and assume your little one will be at the very worst case scenario end of the scale, but you never know what they will end up like with a few more months of development behind them, so try not to worry overly, but do seek help from your GP and insist that you get a referral to a developmental paed and possibly a physio. There can be waiting lists for these referrals, but warned.

Also, PM me if you want to talk further! There is a great community of mums on the Special Needs Children boards here on Mumsnet, too.

Worrybynature, I'm normally the first to 'flag' SN I see on MN. I have to say to you, though, that while you should go by your gut instinct, what you see now isn't necessarily a good predictor of the future.

DD1 at 12 months: Several words, pointed, waved, clapped, used to lift her feet up for kisses, etc. Motor skills behind a little, but not much. Thought she'd be walking by 13/14 months.

DD1 at 15 months: Pulling to stand but foot turned out.

DD1 at 17-20 months: Seen by physio for 'neurotic mum syndrome' and discharged at 20 months. Not yet walking.

DD1 at 23 months: Finally started walking. 'Neurotic mum syndrome' confirmed.

DD1 at 2yrs 6 months: Started preschool and 'Neurotic Mum' was nervous of how they would keep her safe.

DD1 at 2yrs 9 months: Flagged by preschool 'immature' and 1:1 given.

DD1 at 4 yrs: Statement arrived.

DD1 at 4 yrs 9 months: Special School.

However, if you saw her at 12 months, none of the 'flags' were raised. I know many 'normal' children who had red flags at 12 months, by contrast.

The best thing you can do is go to your GP/Health Visitor with a list of your concerns and ask to be referred to a Developmental Paediatrician. They will check her over, ask you some questions, and either send you on your way or say 'well...you've got a point.'