Funny/embarrassing things your dc have said in public

[ellesabe]

Dd (2.7yo) said very loudly in a public toilet cubicle:

"Look mummy, you got a very curly bottom!"

my DS (pointing at a man about 8 foot away)Shouted "Mum look at that fat man".

My DD, "That's not a man mum that's a lady, but she does look like a man" the woman was 2 foot away.

I like beer. This was 2.6yo ds in a restaurant last night...

mummy look at that mans boobies

Ooh daddy, look, a pirate!

Man further up the aisle in Tesco, with an eye patch. bless him, he turned round and did a full blooded "ooh aargh" for DS who was thrilled.

DH went to apologise but the man said it was fine, DS wasn't the first child to think he was a pirate.

The poor bloke.

Haha hilarious PeterParker.

Haha hilarious PeterParker.

'why are you bald? Why you have no hair?' to a man on the bus.

The man replied 'because I'm old'

The toddler then asked 'why you old?'

Also the woman who sneezed and her teeth fell out and he shouted 'oh shit man, your teeth' and just stared in terror.

He went through a stage of saying 'oh shit' because he heard me say it once. I couldn't tell him off for that though. I couldn't breathe for laughing!

When my nephew was about 6 they all went to a pub for lunch and when asked what he wanted to drink hw said jack Daniels and coke.

DS (2.4) invariably asks for beer or wine whenever we go for a pub lunch- but very insistently, and repeatedly.

DP taught him how to say wassup (from that really annoying TV show?), which DS loves. So now whenever anyone says hello, he shouts, "WAAAASUUUUUP!!!!" in their faces, complete with tongue flying everywhere. Polite.

Ds hit my mum on the bum with his teddy bear aged about 3 in a packed bakery and shouted 'Look! Benny's bumming you!'

Sat watching my niece at her confirmation in a very packed church when my DS suddenly asks if he can to go to the pub...

Ha ha, love these threads

My DS, went around for days telling everyone I was 'on a diarrhoea' when ever we was around food, I was on a diet, and corrected him each time, swear he was doing it on purpose after the first few times, he was four, little monster!

When the priest popped in to chat pre-church occasion, ds asked: how much longer are you staying and are you going to keep talking this much?
Then, "Mummy needs to have faith because she was very grouchy today."

Can we leave Tesco now I'm bloody hungry!

Look at that mans big boobies

And general singing of one direction songs loudly in public.

All 4 year old DS

DD 21 mnth likes to call out 'hi, daddy!' to random strange men. I feel like I need to tell them "she knows who her daddy is and no, I'm not looking."

My 2.5 year old son said as we were passing two middle aged women in the street 'there's all the sexy ladies' pointing at them! Haha he's obsessed with Gangnam Style...

My ds (age 3) is obsessed with who has willies and who doesn't and is still convinced I have one hidden somewhere, despite my repeatedly telling him I don't. Every time we are in a public loo it's "you got willy mummy?". "No I don't have a willy". "Yes, you got willy mummy", "Isee you willy mummy?". Arrrgh!

DD in supermarket as we go past man offering wine for tasting, "you need wine Mummy." Statement, not a question.

Zulubump love it! My son also 3 also obsessed with willies has has said the following in public bathrooms and changing rooms..
Do you like my willy?
Look my willy!
You've not got a willy!
Daddy's willy is hairy! ( daddy not there at the time)
And my personal favourite he souted in a public toilet from a closed cubical...
Stop touching my willy!
( he was trying to pee standing up and it wasn't going in the bowl )

Still think yours is the best though Zulu ;)

MIL came round and we weren't in next time we saw her she said to DD1 who is 3 'nanny came to see you before I knocked on your door but no one answered' DD replied 'yeah we were just hiding!' I swear we werent!

Then in the cloak room at nursery in front of several other parents 'I didn't poo my nick nicks today mammy'!

2.8 DD very loudly in M&S "errgh, nanny smells. Nanny did a poo". I found it hilarious but my mum was a little embarrassed!

'Mummy, is the doctor going to touch your boobies?' (Ds is obsessed with boobs atm)
'Mummy xxx has got a baby in tummy, you have cake in your tummy'
'Mummy, are you having a poo?' ( in a public toilet)
'Mummy, have you got a willy?' 'Nanny got a biiiiiig willy' (in coffee shop with my mum sitting waiting for us.

Brilliant! This thread has made me nearly cry with laughter. DS1 is only 7 months old so I have all this to come.

DS (2.8) in swimming pool changing cubicle: 'you're very good at pulling your pants down Mummy'

erm... thanks.