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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD1 2.4 yrs - Still not much language and NO HOPE of potty training.....

26 replies

CaptainDippy · 30/05/2006 10:25

Just posting to make sure that I am not alone.....

My DD1 is 2.4 and still says very little. A lot of my friends are embarking or at least talking about potty training; but there's not hope of that with DD2. She just doesn't have the language capability to tell me when she needs to wee / poo and she really doesn't have any idea when she is going. I've left her with her nappy off a couple of times and she'll just wee /poo everywhere and carry on with playing - She has no concept of what she's just done. bless her.

I know I've nothing to worry about and her language will develop at it's own pace; and the potty training will happen in it's own time; but I just want to make sure I am no the only one around here!!

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Marina · 30/05/2006 10:31

Hmm. 2.4 months is pretty young to be ready for potty-training CD - only a small minority of children are ready at this time. Dd was 2.7 before we even tried it. Ds was nearly 3!
People can talk about this but how successful are they being?

bluejelly · 30/05/2006 10:35

2.4 still young for potty training. And kids speech levels at that age vary enormously
Don't panic, she'll get there in the end!

Jimjamskeepingoffvaxthreads · 30/05/2006 10:38

You don't need language to potty train. I read this in Gina Ford and didn't potty train because of it- unfortunately ds1's language never came in (he's 7 now- still can't speak) so I wasted a lot of time. In the end he was toilet trained at about 4 and a half, but I wish I'd started earlier, because he would have trained earlier.

The key is just to keep putting the child on the potty and give them things to play with, read books etc so they stay there. Praise praise praise when you catch one. The key is that they stay on the toilet. If you don't catch one and they start wandering put the nappy back on a try half an hour/hour later.

Socci · 30/05/2006 10:38

I would say that at this age receptive language is more important than expressive. So as long as she understands you, don't worry.

My dd is 2.5 and we haven't started potty training yet.

dewmeadow · 30/05/2006 10:38

I agree. There's too much pressure to get it done quickly. according to the parenting potty training book, some US specialists said: "if you start at 2 you'll be done by 3. If you start at 3 you'll be done by 3!"

ther's no rush - just go by your own DD.

kid · 30/05/2006 10:38

I waited until DD was ready for potty training which happened to be at 2.6, she mastered it very quickly.

As for her speech, she didn't say much at that age and did end up needing SALT which wasn't until she turned 3. They couldn't refer her until 3 as she could have caught up in that time but didn't.

gigwig · 30/05/2006 10:41

You aren't the only one aorund here!
My DS only recently is potty trained (he is 3.5!) and still has problems with it sometimes.

His speech was unclear and he didn't say much when your DD's age but now he never stops talking all day.

We watched a video of him when he was 2.2 at the weekend and were surprised at how little he spoke - it is amzing how we forget things. Wish he would be quiet now sometimes even cos he chatters all day long in a loud voice!

QE · 30/05/2006 10:43

ds1, ds2 and dd were potty trained by the age of 2 and a half. So when ds3 got to the same age I was expecting the same.

Didn't happen though - he would carry on playing when he had pooed or weed in his pants totally poblivious to it.

I left it until the Easter holidays just gone when he was 3.3 years old. He did it within days, totally dry day and night, totally reliable provided I watched for the signs of him needing to go. His speech is very delayed and before this didn't have the vocab to tell me.

I'd say wait, wait, wait - don't compare and expect yours to keep up with your friends' kids.

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 30/05/2006 11:09

Thanks guys!! This is all good to hear!! She did say her 1 three word sentence at the weekend though .....

"Give it now!!"

Maaaarvellous!!

OP posts:

bluejelly · 30/05/2006 11:22

I remember some wise mother once telling me that generally the later you start with potty training, the quicker they get it.

Even if it doesn't apply to all situations, think general premise is true...

FrannyandZooey · 30/05/2006 11:24

My ds is 3, extremely verbally able, and not potty trained. It is a bit of a frightener when suddenly everyone rushes to train. Half of them will only have strated because all their friends are doing it, there is no way all (or even most) children are really ready by this age.

foundintranslation · 30/05/2006 11:27

hello CD :)
The dd of a friend of mine turned 3 in Feb. She was in nappies until really recently, no sign of potty training and then all of a sudden was out of them within a week. She still has some accidents but is basically really good. She didn't really use the potty btw, her mum would put her straight on the toilet.

LadyCodofCOdford · 30/05/2006 11:28

you nedt o join my thread

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 30/05/2006 11:30

I am afraid I am a little too scared atm, Cod - Perhaps the next one, eh!!?

Ooooooh - the first time Cod's actually spoken to me!!?

OP posts:

blueshoes · 30/05/2006 12:08

CaptDippy, dd was not saying much at 2.4 either. Now at 2.8, she says a lot more (simple 2-3 word sentences, like yours is starting now) and can reliably parrot a word we say.

Other little signs told us she was ready-ish eg her nappy was generally dry-ish in mornings. She ONCE told us she was going to "poo-poo" whilst in the bath and did actually do a poo when we took her out and sat her on a potty (this is pre-training).

We started potty training 2 weeks ago and she got it in 7 days, after accidents galore. But she is really reliable now and can tell us in advance she needs to go.

I think dd was generally ready, though needed a bit of practice at the start. I think dd is one of the latest in her nursery age group to start training, but don't let the competition scare you. I would have been happy to leave it even later but have another baby on the way, so decided to bite the bullet.

azroc · 30/05/2006 12:19

What sort of nappies are you using? Children tend to get the idea of training easier if they wear cloth nappies as they can feel when they're wet. Having said that, ds2 went through a dreadful phase of pooing in his pants (especially when we were in the library for some reason!) and he was nearly 3.
Good luck and don't worry!

Lio · 30/05/2006 13:27

ds (2.7) talks a lot but doesn't communicate as such – tells as things (like "Fell over" or "Daddy going to catch train") but doesn't reply to questions (like "What did you do at nursery today) and certainly showing no interest in potty training, not even as a cloth nappy user. Luckily I know lots of children who didn't do it till 3, so am not worried yet.

juuule · 30/05/2006 13:31

my dd aged 3 in June doesn't look like potty training any time soon. In fact, I mentioned that she might want to wear knickers now instead of a nappy and she got most upset.

wannaBe1974 · 30/05/2006 16:36

my sister's ds is 2 yo 10 months and is not even close to being potty trained. My sister has tried a couple of times but he's completely oblivious. will wet himself and doesn't care, so she's leaving it for now. Besides she's due to give birth iminently and really doesn't want to put the stress of potty training on her ds at the time she has a new baby. My mother is constantly having a go at her about it, saying how she'll struggle with two in nappies, telling dn that he obviously wants to stay a baby as he doesn't want to be a big boy and do his weewees on the potty. It annoys me no end and I'm for ever telling her that he'll be potty trained when he's ready.

My ds was 2.5 when I potty trained him and he had very developed language skills, but not all children are the same.

As long as your dd doesn't start school still in nappies you'll be alright :)

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 30/05/2006 20:05

Thanks guys - all your comments are really reassuring and helpful!!

I am a cloth nappy user and doesn't seem to be making any difference atm, but we'll see. I know she'll let me know when is ready - I was just worried about the language barrier ifykwim!!?

I have two in nappies atm and have had for just over and year now and it is absolutely fine. Sure, I do a tad more nappy washing than I used to, but it really hasn't been a worry at all - So you can tell you sis that WannaBe1974!!

OP posts:

YeahBut · 30/05/2006 20:48

There's a lot of competitive mummy stuff about toilet training! Save your sanity and don't buy into it!
A recent study of toilet-training in the States followed the progress of hundreds of toddlers over a couple of years. By age 3 only around 40% of these toddlers were toilet trained, but over 90% were toilet trained by age 4. Some children are earlier and some are later. A friend's dad is a urologist and often lectures us all that the outer range of normal (ie later than most but still considered perfectly OK by health professionals) for being dry in the day is 6.

Also, the modern definition of toilet training is not just being able to use the potty - it is knowing when they need to go, being able to get there in time, get themselves undressed, actually go(!), wipe, get re-dressed and wash hands. It's a very complicated procedure, requires a high level of neurological development and is much easier for the older child. BTW I have all this info because I was completely stressed out by dd1 who showed no interest in toilet training at 3.5. I did absolutely the wrong thing by making a big deal about it and am positive that I set her back. When I did finally chill out and leave her alone, she calmly announced one day that she was wearing knickers from then on and did! Your dd will let you know when she's ready to go for it. Go by her timetable, whenever that is and you'll be fine. HTH

sugarfree · 30/05/2006 20:57

Ds3 has a moderate speech and language delay,doesn't use sentences,doesn't imitate,has a vocab of about 40 words at 2.7.
I've just potty trained him in 5 days.
Not because I am supermum,but because he was ready.
Your LO will be ready in her own time.Never,ever do things with your child just because your friends are doing it with theirs.Competitive parenting is awful,don't get sucked in.

JanH · 30/05/2006 20:58

OK, haven't read thread, just first post; but DS2 (13 now, potty trained, talks ) was just like your DD1, CD - prob worse if anything.

He started playgroup aged 2.6 and was pretty much monosyllabic. He understood everything OK but understanding him was a prob. They were OK with him being in nappies.

His speech started to improve a lot after the Christmas, when he was 2.9, and by 3 he was talking fairly normally although still had lots of quirks (eg playgroup was claybroup and five fish fingers was bive bish bingers) - he saw a SALT occasionally who gave him exercises to do.

We went on holiday in June when he was 3.2 and I left him in nappies until the hol was over - he was trained day and night very quickly after that.

HTH

Rhubarb · 30/05/2006 21:04

ds is 29 months. He speaks 2 word sentences like "man car" when he wants me to put the man in the car, and "mange chocolate" when he wants some chocolate (2 languages to cope with!). He also shows no awareness of his poos or wees. If he does something in the potty it is a complete accident and he isn't even aware that he's done anything in the potty! He'll also happily poo and wee on the floor without realising it - he started crying once when he stepped backwards into his own poo, he didn't know what it was!

Children are individuals and all learn at their own pace. This is when I really hate comparing, you just can't do that with kids! Some kids are really advanced! Dd by contrast was chattering away at the same age and was potty trained! It's just the way it goes. Everything will come together in time.

Original poster

CaptainDippy · 31/05/2006 08:56

It's really good to read these messages of hope and know that I am not alone, bless my little DD1. Thank you!!

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