HELP!! im getting so stressed with not being able to disapline dd

[boo22]

Hi, dd is 21 months shes really testing my patience & pushing me as far as she can!!

im finding it hard to disipline. Iv tried the naughty step and time out but they both dont work. Infact time out i thought would really work for me, but when i tell dd off,she takes herself to a room, closes the door and waits and crys for 2 minutes, she does it herself!!!!!!! So, this doesnt work for us as once i have asked her to apoisge and she knows why she was in there, it still carrys on :(

Anyway, im wondering on any techinicques that other mums have used with their 2 years olds and if they have worked etc, please help

THANKS x

I've recommended before on these threads, there's a leaflet from the NSPCC which explains the development of under two year olds, explains how their motivation is not to be naughty, so formal 'discipline' is really unnecessary. They are wired to explore the world and explore their own ability to have an effect on the people and things around them; that's why they can seem defiant sometimes. It's just an instinct.

Easiest way round it is to toddler proof your home so that she can't touch things she shouldn't; and use DISTRACTION like mad. At her age, distraction will work...it's hard work sometimes and takes a bit of imagination from you but its so much easier on everyone if you can distract her away from things she shouldn't be doing, rather than punishing her after the event.

Question your expectations of her, are they really realistic?

I would say use time out if you are feeling like strangling her, and let her take herself off for two minutes if she wants to! At her age I think I wouldn't press for an apology from her tbh; I think more important to explain clearly why she was in there, then give a hug and kiss and take her on to an interesting, fun activity that will make the incident easy to forget. change the mood, don't dwell on it...

thansk very much for that, very intersting!!

I do agree with disapline not being nessessary but i guess her slapping pushed me to thinking i needed too. Also, shes uncontrolable when having a tantrum so kinda thought sumthing needed to be done. I do use distraction, this works when at home but doesnt make a differnce if im out or on the bus etc

Also, when i said i asked her for an apoligy i meant by that hug or kiss for slapping.

Thanks for your advise :)

I'd agree with sparklemagic...at that age, I found distraction the best tool. That, and saying a simple 'no' then removing an object, or her from the object. My version of early time-out was to ignore any mini-tantrums, not give them attention - then praise and give lots of attention once she'd calmed down. Worked beautifully for us, whereas I think anything more would have given the 'naughty' behaviour too much attention and focus, apart from anything else.
Good luck, its hard when our babies turn into toddlers

Boo22,

You could be us. We have exactly the same problem and im struggling to think of some other form of disapline.
The naughty step seems to have become a game.

Unfortuntly my DD is 2 and knows hitting is naughty but still continues to do it.