DD a three year old nervous wreck!

[honeysmummy1]

For the past few months my DD has become anxious over the smallest things, nervous and shy.
She has a total break down if my mums dog barks. He is the friendliest little dog just likes to bark when someone is at the door. She has started hiding behind me when she sees a dog in the street.
If the countdown theme tune on channel 4 comes on, or even if she sees the background when flicking channels she starts shaking, screaming and putting her hands over her ears. She gave her child minder heart failure one time as she was skimming through channels. She is also the same with the simpsons!
Hand dryers in public toilets turns her into a shaking, screaming, nervous wreck. She hates loud noises of any sort yet doesn't mind my blender. She gets really uncomfortable when the hoover is on and goes upstairs to her room while I hoover.
She has started crying at her child minders, she has been going a few months now and has been great but only goes one day a week now due to me losing my job and she starts crying when she goes to her house. I asked her what was wrong and she said she doesn't like the cat. My child minder says it mite be because countdown came on once and she remembers it. My mum seems to think its because shes used to having me back in the house now I'm out of work and doesn't like going to her child minders because she thinks I'm going to go back to work. I have no idea what is going on inside her head.
She goes to toddler groups three times a week and is really sociable, loves playing with her friends but she keeps going into these shy moods where she shuts her eyes if someone she doesn't know very well starts talking to her.
She has started doing this really weird thing with her hands when she gets anxious or excited. She puts her hands together but slightly apart and tenses her body and arms up.
She has just turned so anxious and tense and appears scared of everything. She has a happy home life, my DP and I don't argue, we don't shout at her, she is well cared for. I'm at a loss as to why shes like this.

My DS (3yrs) has become like this too. I am hoping it is just a phase and trying to strike a balance between not pushing him to hard in situations he is scared of and not allowing these anxieties to curtail normal life.

So no advice for you I am afraid: my only plan is to wait for the phase to pass.

Lets hope it is just a phase. Agreed that if you try and push them to confront their fears that it only makes it worse. The only thing I do normally is hoover. She knows she can go to her room if she doesn't want to see it. It was only last week I went out to the garden to empty the hoover into the bin and she was standing at the window watching shouting help. When I went in she was shaking like a leaf and said she was scared of the hoover. I just don't know what was going through her head.

She might be oversensitive to noise...look up Sensory Processing Disorder...although some DC are simply prone this way without having a disorder. My own DD was very much like this...she'd freak out at handdryers, hoovers, sirens...also did the not speaking to strangers. She's 8 now and fine. She has grown out of it all.

Thanks NeoMaxi I wasn't aware there was a disorder, will look it up. A few distant family members bumped into us down the shops today and she gave them the biggest dirty look and hid behind me. She is just so shy and thinks the worst of everyone
Glad to hear your DD has grown out of it, I wouldn't mind if she was just shy in nature but the total melt downs do get to me and its like walking on egg shells in your own home. She is scared of dogs, hand dryers, coundown, the simpsons, eastenders, child minders cat because he went meoww!, she is scared of bugs and flying insects, hoovers and strangers. The annoying thing is that when i blow dry my hair she asks if she can dry her hands under it!

It's very stressful. WHen my DD was like this, I took care not to try and force her to speak to people. I would say things like "Oh look it's Mrs X...say hello DD." and if she would not, then I'd say "Oh well not in a talking mood today." in a normal voice....they can';t help it can they so I didn't want DD to feel judged or that it was wrong not to be able to speak out

Some people took it as bad manners or would say "Oh is she shy?" and I'd say "no, she's just a bit wary of people she doesn't know aren't you DD?"....I always included DD in the conversation.

She was helped a LOT by joining Brownies...but I've never made her do activities unless she wanted to.

Activities do help. She is very social, just with children her age. How old do Brownies take kids from? A lot of my mummy friends take their children to brownies, say its great.
She goes to nursery in a few months and I don't want her to clam up with her teachers and not speak the whole time she is there. I just hope she feels comfortable as there are other children there. She has become so clingy these past few weeks, don't know what she will do without me in the classroom with her.
I just have images of her having a melt down about something at nursery. Words cannot describe what shes like in an episode. Eyes shut tight, hands over ears on her hands and knees screaming and shaking, over nothing! Good luck to her nursery teachers if they have them out on outings and there are hand dryers in the loos

Honey my DD was the same....I could see her talking in the playground to other girls and she had friends...this is when she was in reception as the youngest in the year (which she obviously still is)

I've only just noticed your DD is only 3...she can join Rainbows which comes before Brownies when she is 5...get her name down now as there' is always a waiting list.

Go here and register her now...and when she's getting towards 5, you will get a letter...you get to register and choose a number of meetings near your home so that you get on the closest lists possible.

By the time she starts nursery, she might have improved. For now, I suggest getting her hearing checked...there are some people who hear certain frequencies much louder than most of us do and a shrill noice literally hurts them.

Tell the GP about the hand dryer thing...he or she will book a hearing test.