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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Shush pat is just made up...

18 replies

TheFallenNinja · 22/05/2013 19:39

To make us feel that sitting in a room while a baby screams for hours is better than sitting in another room while a baby screams for hours.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

ilovepowerhoop · 22/05/2013 19:41

you hold the baby when doing shush pat though

CreatureRetorts · 22/05/2013 19:44

Sleep training is never nice. I prefer a gradual introduction of better sleep methods. Never doing pick up pick down bollocks again.

Original poster

TheFallenNinja · 22/05/2013 19:53

Nah. It's made up. A cruel and unusual punishment that serves no purpose. I've been here for three hours. I'm bursting for a pee, a fag and a coffee. I can have none of this because CIO is cruel.

OP posts:

Original poster

TheFallenNinja · 22/05/2013 19:53

I'm approaching my wits end.

OP posts:

TippiShagpile · 22/05/2013 19:58

It's all shite. I could never do any of that stuff. I'm such a wimp I never let mine cry.

They got there in the end though. Eventually.

Have a

MoelFammau · 22/05/2013 19:59

DD NEVER slept. Ever. Her naps were 5 minutes long since birth. She wouldn't lie down without screaming. We had her sleeping on our chests for the first 3 months. The comments from people were ridiculous - "Just let her cry it out", "Pick her up and put her down, she has to LEARN...".

I ignored it. Just as well. DD had severe silent reflux and was basically in agony. So bedtime was always a long, reassurring cuddly, feed to sleep thing.

So I say ignore anyone who tells you to just so this or simply do that. It's bollocks. You'll find out what soothes your little one. It's a tough ride but you'll get there. It took me 2 years though!

CreatureRetorts · 22/05/2013 20:06

How old? Tell us more. We've all been there!

NutellaLawson · 22/05/2013 20:31

I suspect it really depends on the baby. Babies are not all generic infant objects, like the books sometimes like to pretend. They are individuals and bo one way works for all habited. Some babies respond well to being picked up, soothed, and put back down again (it worked a charm with mine at 7.5 months) but yours probably isn't one if those.

It might be a bit crap advice but I found singing songs helped to soothe (I mean soothe me, not baby). How old is DC?

peanutbuttersarnies · 22/05/2013 20:36

Op, I've been thinking the exact same thing recently. Sometimes I wonder if it's worse for them having to see us sit and ignore them

Original poster

TheFallenNinja · 22/05/2013 22:07

Poor thing, she's 7months. Even though in the dark moments earlier I am really trying to stay consistent.

I dread another round of sleep regression.

If happily sell my soul for a pint about now

OP posts:

trixymalixy · 22/05/2013 22:11

Shush pat worked amazingly well for DS. I thought I had the putting down to sleep thing sorted. Then along came DD. DD was not having any of it. She's still awful at going to sleep at nearly 4.

Different things work for different children. If its nut working then try something else.

JoyMachine · 22/05/2013 22:15

Have you done pick-up, put-down too?
PUPD and shush pat helped us a lot though my eldest was around 9mo when we did it.

CreatureRetorts · 22/05/2013 23:16

What is the issue? Just self settling or more?

Original poster

TheFallenNinja · 23/05/2013 00:38

She really struggles to self settle. I think I may have to go back to the drawing board, I don't want her to associate bedtime with anything but nice cuddles and sleep.

OP posts:

teacher123 · 23/05/2013 07:38

I had an epiphany when I realised that DS needs to be completely ignored to go to sleep. Shhh pat enraged him, PUPD had us both absolutely hysterical, one evening I did his bedtime routine and then went downstairs and left him in his cot. He settled in 8 minutes!!! This was after nearly 6 months of trying absolutely everything. I know that all babies are different, but I think DS just got massively overstimulated. He needs total darkness, I even have to put the snooze shade on in the car as he won't drift off otherwise...

CreatureRetorts · 23/05/2013 08:40

If she's sleeping through fine or minimal wake ups then I'd ease off and not worry. With dd I would cuddle after a feed and put her on her tummy (from when she could roll etc) and stroke her back. If she got upset, I'd pick her up and cuddle again. We gradually got to a stage where I could put her down after a cuddle but wide awake and she'd be fine. Sometimes I'd try leaving after saying goodnight and she'd cry for 1 min then settle. Any longer and I'd go in. If she sounded very upset I'd go in right away. Now she goes in to her cot awake and is fine! It's very odd as my first was the opposite - need cuddles for ages. However I think I stressed too much with him whereas I was more relaxed with dd as she's my second and knew she wouldn't be like this forever. Now she's 17 months and I miss the cuddling to sleep (so still give her extra ones even though she settles fine with short ones!)

Original poster

TheFallenNinja · 23/05/2013 09:47

Thanks for the comments all. Much appreciated.

OP posts:

rrreow · 23/05/2013 12:40

It's crap, but it's about letting the baby experience their feelings while they know you're there. Imagine the difference between you being sad, frustrated, can't stop crying and your DP holding you and letting you know he's there for you versus your DP sitting in another room ignoring you and your feelings. That's the way I see it in any case. It's still difficult though

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