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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

2 yo refusing to wear pull ups, especially at night. Scary tantrums- HELP

22 replies

Artyparty · 18/05/2013 20:24

My 2 and a half year old has just started to refuse nappies or pull ups. We have been toilet training (she instigated) for about 3 months and it was going fine. She is mostly dry in the day, so can use training pants but has accidents in the pram/car and of course has a very wet nappy at night. She has suddenly decided she won't wear any pull ups- we've tried all brands- and we have an hour screaming full-on exorcist tantrum to get them on every night. It's awful. The only way is to pin her down which is distressing for DH and I.
Any ideas?

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humblebumble · 18/05/2013 20:25

what happens when she doesn't wear a nappy at night? does she mind sleeping in a wet bed?

Ledkr · 18/05/2013 20:34

My dd did this so I left her without and put a potty by the bed And she never once wet the bed. Had had soaking nappies up to that point.
I'd leave it off but lift her for a wee at your bedtime then leave her on one of those nappy pads and see

Original poster

Artyparty · 18/05/2013 20:38

Thanks humblebumble We've only tested it a couple of times with a towel under. She was very wet and smelly but didn't seem to mind. Had to wash all the bedding- and can't face doing that every day

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Original poster

Artyparty · 18/05/2013 20:41

Thanks ledkr - did your daughter do it so young? It seems so early. Are the nappy pads like sheets that go under? I'm unprepared!!

OP posts:

Ledkr · 18/05/2013 20:44

Yrs about that age I remember it well she's now 11.
I noticed when buying dd2 nappies the other day in Tesco they do kind of big pads to put under them which would be better.
I'd give it a try. One if my ds was the same too but at about 3 soaking wet nappy but dry when I took it off.
My 2.4 yr old can't bear to be without a "bappy"

gallicgirl · 18/05/2013 20:47

Will incontinence pads do the job?
I got a pack from Boots in preparation for home birth and they didn't cost much. Just slip them under the sheet and make sure DD has wee before bed and another when you go to bed.
Well done on the good work so far! My 2 year old won't even admit to having a stinking steaming nappy.

piprabbit · 18/05/2013 20:48

When does she wee in the night?
I thought my DD was still wet at night - turned out she was dry until she woke up and then did a huge wee. So getting her on the potty as soon as she woke solved the problem and meant she was dry (mostly) overnight.
Similarly, a final wee when you go to bed might avoid the problem.

mummywantsaliedown · 18/05/2013 20:50

My daughter did exactly the same when she started using the potty properly. There was no persuading her. We negotiated one night in pull ups while we got a plastic sheet to go under her bed sheet, which I bought the next day (John Lewis). Apart from the 1st night, 3rd night after, and about 5 other incidents all days/weeks apart, she was dry at night from the very beginning! That was 2 1/2 months ago now. So if you try your luck, she may well surprise you. Just be prepared, have back up bedding to hand to make any nocturnal clean ups easy. And be ready to reassure her that she can do it! Good luck :-)

Original poster

Artyparty · 18/05/2013 20:52

Thanks gallicgirl. She is in bed now, asleep with one hand down the front and one at the back - to stop pull up touching her- she says it hurts but it's very loose. DH thinks it's defiance and would be crazy to go without, think I'll give incontance pads a go tho!

OP posts:

Longtallsally · 18/05/2013 20:53

Same here - ds1 decided one day that he didn't need nighttime nappies/pullups, because he was a big boy - aged 2. After pinning him down for three nights in a row, we decided to let him try, and of course, he stayed dry. Big wee before bed and then we woke him early for a wee at about 6 when dh gets up.

Best of luck

mummywantsaliedown · 18/05/2013 20:55

Piprabbit has a good point, big wee in the morning from dd too. We have her potty in her bedroom at the moment. Not sure when we'll take it out tbh! When she stops needing the early big wee I suppose.

flanbase · 18/05/2013 20:58

She sounds like the pull ups aren't comfortable. Ask her what would be an idea to do. The potty by the bed is good. Having to wash the sheets & bedclothes is a hassle but it might mean she's dry at night quicker & you wont have to buy pull ups/nappies any more.

humblebumble · 18/05/2013 21:01

My DS1 went dry at night at 2.5 yrs, he also point blank refused to wear nappies (they were dry 8 out of 10 nights). He was dry during the day before 2 yrs, so for us it wasn't a massive surprise. I was also worried about the washing as I had a 6 month old as well and didn't want to face it. He did surprise us and did pretty well. When he was wet at night we could usually trace it back to a reason (milk too late, over tired, ill, etc.)

I didn't realise you could get incontinence pads, what a good idea. We used waterproof sheets and washed.

DS2 who is 3.5 is nowhere near losing his nighttime nappy, in fact he still manages to wet the bed even with a nappy on, but that's another thread ...

MildlyMiserable · 18/05/2013 21:05

My DS refused point blank, went from nappies to pants and as far as he was concerned that was that. Wee before bed (about 7pm) then I would sleep walk him again about 11pm, no night time accidents - a fluke I'm sure!
My problem was daytime, he knew he needed to go but was "too busy" thankfully he didn't like being wet and uncomfortable so it didn't happen often.
Good luck with it.

Fairylea · 18/05/2013 21:08

Could you get some reusable training pants? Fill your pants (Google them) do some very good blueberry brand training pants that look just like lovely patterned toddler knickers. You could even probably get away without telling her they are training pants. Just wash on 60 degrees and they will dry very quickly.

Original poster

Artyparty · 18/05/2013 21:22

Wow thanks guys- this is reassuring. She seems to object to anything at the moment but will look up those traing pants.
I've got a mattress protector on already. Didn't expect this. My health visitor said she would be dry by 5yrs!
Would be amazing to be dry before DC #2 arrives later this year!

OP posts:

Cloverer · 18/05/2013 21:26

2.5 is out enough to be out of nappies, just get on with potty training and put some bed mats on the bed.

Why is she weeing in the pram/car? Do you not get her to go before you set off?

wiltingfast · 18/05/2013 22:23

I'd probably try her a night or. And if it seemed to me she was not ready, I'd just insist on the nappies.

There's no training for night time. They can hold on or they can't. It would just be one of those non negotiable things.

And I read that you are not supposed to lift them, apparently it interferes with the hormones that control the reflex (not v informed on that, sorry!).

The tantrums are wearying. We used to give a countdown of time to do the nappies, 5m, 4m etc. Reduced the scale of them a fair bit. Hth

Fairylea · 18/05/2013 22:33

Here's the link :)

www.fill-your-pants.com/training-pants/BBTP.html

Longtallsally · 20/05/2013 15:44

Oh, didn't see the bit about the car. My ds1 who potty trained himself overnight and had no accidents at home, used to need to wee (and poo) anytime we drove anywhere. He would tell me, so a car potty was essential and every journey took twice as long. Triple pronged tactics needed for daytime/nighttime and journeytime!

Good luck

Charleymouse · 20/05/2013 16:01

DD2 has a nappy (aka pyjama pants as only babies wear nappies ;-))

This is put on after she has gone to sleep and is whipped off before she gets out of bed in a morning.

Try these all dcs have them as it stops spills of drinks on mattress and if organised put two layers (two mats and sheets interlayered) on so if any accidents you can just whip top layer off.

Ray81 · 20/05/2013 20:35

DD2 who's just turned 3 has been dry since 23 months in the day but she can't seem to get it at night, she has what we call night time knickers (pull ups)
Interestingly my mum said I wasn't dry In the night until I was 5 and I have
Always got up in the night to go so am wondering if she's like me.

I have tried to night time bed pads but you need to use more then one if she moves about a lot in her sleep as they aren't very big and they move about too so worth considering,

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