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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Feel like a bad mummy :-((

23 replies

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 21:21

My little girl is 10 months old and isnt crawling as yet,she doesnt move around the room atall really and is quite happy sitting in one spot and playing. I wasnt worried about it but after a little light reading on google (i know) have found that babies will often roll around,so I thought hummmm give her some time on her back but she couldnt even roll. When she was younger she did roll but hated it and was more interested in sitting up so I just concentrated on helping her sit up which she is brilliant at but now Im worried because she cant roll over,has she forgotton?? Am I bad mother here? I should have spent more time on helping her roll. At the moment she leans forward whilst sitting and rocks on her hands and bum,sometimes ventures up onto her knees but shes been doing that for ages,im worried that by not being able to roll shes missed an important skill. What do you think? s

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FlatsInDagenham · 17/05/2013 21:34

Chill. She's fine. They do the knee rocking thing for ages before they crawl. And lots of babies never travel by rolling. Sounds to me like she's doing exactly the right things.

Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 21:36

Or am I not giving her enough play time maybe?? She has about 30 mins in morning after breakfast then gets tired sohas her nap then a short play before lunch. We then go for our walk (we go everyday :-/ is this why maybe) which is about 30 mins in car to park 1 hour there and 30 mins back. Then she has nap then 30 mins play again before tea and then 30mins after tea before bath. She also plays with daddy in the morning before he goes to work. When i say play,i mean proper mat time on the floor with her toys.

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Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 21:40

Do you think flats oh i soooo hope so. Babies all around us are the same age and starting to walk and it makes me think im doing something wrong. Am i not giving her enough play time and i not giving her enough attention. I also have two dogs so I have to put her down where I am and alot of the time she wont play on the kitchen floor and would rather be in front room but I cant let her sit there by herself with dogs so i end up puttingbher invher highchair in kitchen with me.

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Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 21:40

Thanks for your reply by the way :-))

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Smartiepants79 · 17/05/2013 21:44

My DD never rolled over or crawled. She sat in one place and happily played. Then at 10 months or so she stared bum shuffling and was walking by the time she was about 14 months. She is 2.9 now and has developed completely normally.
You are way over thinking this!
If you are really worried maybe try and give her a bit more 'free' time.
Is there no where closer you can walk?
She will learn to roll later on. It really doesn't matter.
Try and relax and enjoy the fact that you don't have to worr about where she is all the time - she is exactly where you left her! It is a definite bonus!

Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 21:49

Thanks smartiepants thanks for your reply. The walk is more for my two dogs really,they go wild if i dont walk them and unfortunately there nowhere to walk where i live :-/ But I think maybe I do need to give her more free time as you say,its not alot what she does have. Makes me feel bad as Im thinking would she have been crawling sooner if id have given her more time to play :-((

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Chocoflump · 17/05/2013 21:57

Toby if you are a bad mummy I must be awful- my DS physically couldn't roll over until he was almost 2!! He sat up really early (4 months) crawled average age (10 months) and was a late walker (18 months) he was running around before he could actually roll over- now he's an active 3 year old who can run, jump, hop, skip, and never sits still!!

DD however amazed me by rolling at 12 weeks! Shes now 9 months and had only recently started sitting unaided- no interest in crawling yet. I have raised them both the exact same- babies just do things in their own time!

Smartiepants79 · 17/05/2013 21:58

Don't feel bad. You have no idea if she would be crawling now or not. As I said my girl NEVER crawled and it has made no difference to her in the long term. Many babies don't crawl.
Try not to be so worried about it. They are all so different, if she is happy and growing then you are doing a good job.

ernesttheBavarian · 17/05/2013 22:13

I think you are a relatively new mum who is wayyyy too anxious.

I thought this was going to be about some horrific injury due to neglect.

Really, if you genuinely think her not rolling is a concern, then just give her more opportunities to do so. And then she will.

Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 22:23

Thanks choco I do look into things too much. Thanks for the reassurance. I feelblike a failure when I hear that other babies are walking. Today my husband told me that a friends baby is trying to walk and has been crawling for 2 weeks and hes 2 weeks younger than my baby girl and I just think hummmmm whats his mummy doing differently,what am I doing wrong.

Thanks smartie your right she is a happy baby. Shes so happy and bubbly and im so proud of her. Like you say some babies dont crawl,youve eased my worries. You watch,she'll crawl tomorrow..typical!!! Then ill be posting worrying that shes not walking

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Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 22:26

Thanks ernest i will. And yes 1st baby,how did u guess. I think all my posts recently have been worry posts.

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Smartiepants79 · 17/05/2013 22:27

Don't be in a hurry to have her walking. You never get a moments peace after that.
10 months is very early to walk.
If she is still not walking in 6 months or so THEN you can start to worry.

hugoagogo · 17/05/2013 22:33

All babies do things at their own rate, it won't matter that much what you do.
It sounds like you are doing fine.

AmandinePoulain · 17/05/2013 22:33

Well if you are then so am I! Dd1 was exactly average - rolling at 4mo, sitting at 6, crawling at 8, walking at 12. Dd2 is 9mo and has never rolled further than her side, doesn't crawl and has struggled to pull herself up a few times but mostly gets stuck on her knees and cries to be 'rescued'. She is perfectly happy to just sit up and watch the world go by . She rocks on her bottom and can move a few centimetres but that's it. But she's happy so I'm not concerned. I do wonder if it's because she spends her life being dragged here there and everywhere with dd1 rather than spending her time at home with all of my attention but that's life, I can't very well leave dd1 to pick herself up from school or take herself swimming . I think it's just her personality though to be honest, shes much more chilled than her big sister. They all do things at their own pace, try not to worry.

ernesttheBavarian · 17/05/2013 22:37

I've got 4 and none of them walked before 15 months.

Ds 1 learnt to roll and took us by surprise as he was lying on our really high divan bed with solid wood floorboards at the time......

Really, having your first young child is such a nightmare. SO much to worry about. I remember very clearly when I was out one day with ds1, who was about a year old at the time, a woman came up to me cooing over him, saying how lovely they were at that age, and how much more difficult they got. I burst into tears. I already found I so difficult. The thought of it being harder was overwhelming.

But I liked him (ds1) enough to now have 4 dc.

Mind you, it is bloody difficult ( being a mum) - God bless mumsnet!

Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 22:41

Thanks hugo do you think,i hope so.x

Thankyou also amandine your dd2 sounds the same as my little one. Im not going to worry now. :-)))

Dont worry smartie i was only joking about worrying about her walking. I think i just want her to move. I read that it doesnt matter how they move aslong as they do. But im not going to worry any more,youve reassured me no end. I think it was hearing that our friends younger baby is crawling and nearly walking that did it. Panic set it.

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Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 22:46

ernest wow 4dc!! Do you know ive posted a few times on here and it always reassures me every single time,its brilliant!!! Your right 1st dc is always a worry,not that it actually is but I always find things to worry about. My life isnt complete without something to worry about hehe.x

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Shakey1500 · 17/05/2013 22:52

DS didn't crawl until a week before his first birthday and it was ages before he walked. And it's funny, you would think that I would remember the exact age, especially as I used to tie myself up in knots about it I envisaged getting specialists involved, some sort of apparatus, referrals etc. I was a bloody nightmare!

And then of course, it happens and it becomes yet another notch on the 4567 milestones to be achieved

ernesttheBavarian · 17/05/2013 22:57

you spend their whole babyhood waiting for their first words and first steps.

The next few years you spend telling them to sit still and shut up.

Or words/sentiments to that effect.

Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 22:58

Haha shakey exactly. Ivthink im driving myself crazy reading all about baby milestones. "By 10 months your babybwill be able to clap" my baby cant clap,why cant she clap,come on darling clap clap CLAP!!!!!!!!!! Arrrrr. That was a joke although next doors baby who is two months younger than mine can clap and mine cant haha panic panic!!!!! Google google.x

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Zipitydooda · 17/05/2013 23:09

You are over thinking and over worrying; which is easy to do; been there, done that!

Try not to compare your DD with others, if you get this worried now, imagine how worried you'll be when your DD is older and (maybe) not reading, not doing times tables as much as others etc... It goes on forever.

The amount of playtime she gets seems fine; think about all those 2nd and 3rd babies who have to spend most of their day on the school run in a carseat who all manage to walk etc. or babies in the past who spent all day in their prams as their mothers had to do all the housework with no machines. This thought reassured me when I got that guilty feeling.

My PFB is 8 now and I have learnt to take a step back from the worry (a bit!)

Shakey1500 · 17/05/2013 23:10

I spent too much a lot of time with DS when he was younger trying to get him to say his first word. Every day I would dutifully do the "mummumumumumum" ritual.

I cried real honest-to-goodness-gut wrenching- tears the day he said his first word! I'll never forget that moment, he seemed to look me straight in the eye and said an absolutely, clear as a ringing bell......

"Dada"

Original poster

tobytoes · 17/05/2013 23:22

Haha shakey you make me laugh!! Thats so funny. My baby girl says dadadadadada she only says muuuuummmmmmm when shes crying and wants milk. Im trying the word mummy now to see if i can get ahead on the full pronunciation of words hehe.

zipity so true,thats made me feel better,ill remember that!! And to think i was going to go terry toweling aswell HA,poor pregnant fool I was. X

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