when can children feed themselves with a spoon?

[itsonlysubterfuge]

When we first started weaning my daughter (she was 6 months old) we were giving her loaded spoons and finger food and she could pick the spoon up and put it in her mouth without any problems. She didn't miss her mouth and was able to get the food off. She is now 10 months old and her grandmother made a comment the other day how she should really be feeding herself with a spoon by this age, but my daughter would much rather use her hands. If you give her a spoon she just throws it and wants to eat with her hands. I know all children are different, but I feel my daughter is doing what the average child does. It really bothered me, she said it was like my daughter was falling behind. I know all children are different, but surely all 10 month olds aren't walking around feeding themselves with spoons?

I've looked after loads of kids over the years..... Very few 10 month olds can feed themselves with spoon! Those that can (try to!!) usually make a massive mess! So don't worry, your baby is completely normal, certainly not behind. I'd maybe start encouraging a little bit of self feeding, but wouldn't push it at all. My
18 month olds are still learning this skill. Many times I still feed them. I'm not worried, there'll gradually get there. Good luck! And take everything grandma says with a pinch of salt!!!! I seriously think they look back at your childhood with somewhat rose tinted spectacles!

She can feed herself. That is the main thing.

My 17 month old is just getting the hang of a spoon (she's my second, I'm not worried, think its about normal)

Hmm, I think grandma might not quite be remembering right! Don't think I've ever seen a 10mo feeding themselves with a spoon without help (like per-loading). I can't remember when dd did, she could up to a point when we went on holiday at 15mo, but she still asks for help loading the spoon sometimes if it's something tricky. Sounds like your dd's doing great!

DS is 21 months. He can manage preloaded spoons fine, but he can't reliably get food onto a spoon himself and then into his mouth. The spoons tend to turn themselves over between the bowl and his mouth when he loads the spoon himself...

DS is now nearly 22 months. He managed a whole bowl of porridge at Christmas, and is just now getting quite good at eating regular cereal without it falling off.
At 10 months he would hold a spoon and wave it around but was totally a finger-feeder.

My 13 month old ds2 wants to hold the spoon & feed himself. I do encourage it but mainly feed him his dinner. Ds1 mastered spoon feeding at around 16 months I think. 10 months is still far too young & it shouldn't be forced on him. He'll learn at his own pace.

My 16 m/o is starting to make positive progress with a spoon now
Her grandmother is talking out of her arse, don't worry

My 22 month old can eat well with a spoon and toddler fork. Very little help needed with loading.

At 10 months she needed a lot of help and preferred to use her hands left to her own devices.

Grandma is delusional!

We did pretty much the same as you, she's sixteen months and has now got the idea that putting the spoon in the bowl to refill it might work if its something like set yoghurt or really thick soup.

From what I can gather around me that's fairly early but tbh she has always hated help with eating, if I offer her a pre loaded spoon now she shakes her head vehemently, I put it back in the bowl (still preloaded ) and she picks it up herself it makes the end of a pot if yoghurt a right pain!

Up until 14 mo if I tried to swing the yoghurt pot so that she swung her spoon in and caught some on it, she threw it on the floor immediately.

The range of normal is massive and the concept of a ten month old falling behind, it's not a fucking race people!

My dd has 4 teeth, a boy from my antenatal class has the full set.

Another boy from my antenatal class is walking independently.

A girl from my breastfeeding group was still exclusively bfing at ten months, she refused food point blank!

Just keep doing what you think and don't worry what everyone else thinks, because yes, they probably do think your doing it wrong!

DD is 18 months, and has only really been reliably spoon feeding for about 6 weeks. She uses a spoon in each hand and is pretty competent. She sometimes uses a fork, but generally prefers fingers for lumps.

For DD about 18 months for DS about 14 months or so. They are all different.

As with the OP, mine were introduced to a spoon very early on and quickly caught on to getting something into their mouths that way. They also fed the highchair, the carpet, their hair ...and me.....and were equally likely to dump the spoon and dig in with a fist. Its all about concept at that age though, so yes I also think Grandma has it a little wrong .....sensibly feeding themselves by spoon occurred by about 16-18 months, after I began to gently take the fist out of the dinner and give them the spoon back! before that, its pointless.

16 months here too. With occasional attempts at a fork too!

Oh and I should add that although she can fairly competently use a spoon if she decides her fingers would be easier, she chucks it

Thank you all for your posts. I'll just continue putting the spoon on her tray and doing some pre-loading so if she wants to use it she can, but let her get on with it and use her hands. We've never actually fed her, she's always fed herself, last night we all had applesauce in our hair .

Dd2 is almost 18 months and could eat with a spoon from the moment we gave her one at about 7 months (I have video evidence). She can feed herself well. DD1 on the other hand took forever, and does not reliably use cutlery even now unless it is jelly, ice cream or custard

Most manage a spoon at some point between 12 and 18 months. By 2ish they should be managing with a spoon and fork, though even then lots will use fingers to get stuff onto cutlery.

My DD is 14 months and just starting to get the hang of a spoon.

At ten months she probably would have taken her eye out with it.

Both mine were using a spoon by 12 months but they were quite early tbh. DS is 20mo now and uses a fork and spoon and often uses the spoon as a makeshift knife too. It's personality as much as anything. DD was happier using her hands as a shovel but DS doesn't like to have dirty hands and will persevere with cutlery wherever possible.

DS was 13mo when he could eat a bowl of cereal by himself with a spoon. At 25mo he still prefers to use his fingers, but he can now get the last tiny bit out of a yoghurt pot with a spoon. He's only figured this out in the last few weeks.

DS is 24m and can manage sticky stuff on a spoon (things in sauces, baked beans, porridge, yoghurt), both the loading it himself and eating it. But things like rice or other stuff that is dry still often ends up in his lap. Not particularly worried. Expecting a 10mo to eat with a spoon is a bit I know it can feel worrying when people say their kid is or was doing x, y or z by this age, but every baby is different and comparing only causes unnecessary worry! Any type of ahead or behind stuff that comes from anecdotal comments isn't really worth worrying about in my opinion.

What ive come to realise is that the people who give such wonderful helpful advice are either clueless or have completely skewed memory recall when it comes to what age children should be when they are supposed to be doing whatever it is that they are doing wrong! Motherhood has been a sleep deprived blur for me, I couldn't possibly remember when each stage happened, I'm sure others are the same!

Btw my headstrong DS is 13mths still can't feed himself with spoon, prefers to point at it, demand it, get frustrated with it, throw it onto the floor with his food...refusing to be fed, will only self feed with his fingers.. It's all exploratory I just take it as development and grit my teeth and go with the flow...

I've barely even given my 16mo a spoon yet! She eats well with her fingers and I can't face the mess. Will start addressing the issue soon but she's happy being able to feed herself atm and that's the main thing. she's dc2 and I'm not at all fussed about this age and that age.