Bedtime dramatics from 3yr old

[Chippychop]

Just recently ds3.5 has started screaming and shouting and tantrumming and refusing to go to sleep unless she's cuddled in the chair, even then it's takes ages. Take tonight for instance we've had a nice bath, a story a snuggle in the chair, a promise to be good,but she's yelling the house down as we speak. I've told her -calmly - downstairs and I'll come up to check on her bit I'm not coming up to see her when she is screaming and shouting. It's not just me either she was the same when dh put her to bed when I went on a(rare) night out. Any helpful tips?!!

And I've introduced a reward chart too

This might not be what you want to hear, but when my 4yr old was around 2/3 she also went through a stage when I had to lie in bed with her while she went off to sleep, I just went along with it, it took less and less time and not too long for her to grow out off. I got in bed with her because me moving out didn't disturb her too much, in the end I broke it by lying down for a bit then saying 'I just need the loo darling, I won't be a sec', by the time I got back she was asleep! I am also naughty however in that my 3yr old still has a bottle of warm milk to take to bed (she's happy, I'm happy!) Most of all I think don't let bedtime become a time of stress for them or your setting yourself up for more probs in the long run, if she needs a little extra reassurance right now I'd go with it, keep bedtime calm and make sure she feels secure, and she should grow out of it quickly enough (my 4yr old and 3yr old are now in bed 630 every night no probs). lie in bed with her (if poss), but don't talk to her, don't have a light on, if she keeps talking just say 'its bed time darling, night night', pretend to doze of yourself, point out that if you lying in bed isn't helping her get to sleep you might as well leave her to it! I also used to sing her 2 little boys twice through, once I'd finished she knew that was that, it didn't take too long before she was asleep before I'd even finished. Again I think it just gave her the little bit of reassurance she needed at the time... And freed me up to enjoy a nice big glass of wine and start my evening! ;)

I sit on a chair next to my 3 year-old DDs bed every night. It used to take her an hour to go to sleep but once she learned to trust that I wasn't going until she was asleep then she was easily asleep in 5mins. If she faffs, then I do leave her and say I will come back shortly - she normally screams at this but does stay in her bed and I do go back to check. Recently she has also started telling me to go away as well so that she can have a look at a toy/book etc and then falls asleep by herself fairly quickly.

I think the key thing is to getting them relaxed, so try stroking back in big circles or holding hands. You will find it'll get easier with time.