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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD scared of using public toilets

11 replies

BetteDavis01 · 12/05/2013 21:59

DD is currently potty training and she is doing great at home. She lets me know if she needs the loo and she uses the toilet. I bought her a little seat to go on top of the actual loo seat and she is happy with it.

However, when we are out and I can see that she needs the loo, I take her to the toilets and she becomes really distressed and will not go. She ends up weeing herself. I don't take her little loo seat with me ( should I?) I was just going to hold her as she sits on the toilet.

Any advice on how I can make public toilets, less scary? Thank you.

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Original poster

BetteDavis01 · 12/05/2013 22:14

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5madthings · 12/05/2013 22:17

My ds4 was like this, he would literaly child on all day until busting point, anything but use a toilet whilst out.

I tried taking a toilet seat, you can get fold up ones and the potty with me etc but nothing seemed to help.

Dp took him camping and it was a nightmare but eventually he managed to wee in a toilet once or twice whilst out and with lots of praise and reassurance etc how got it.

stealthsquiggle · 12/05/2013 22:29

Could you see if you could work out what is scary? For my DS or was the noise of the hand dryers. Once DH reasoned him through that (I think he sold them as a cool gadget, but I am not sure as the conversation took place in a men's loo ) he was ok.

5madthings · 12/05/2013 22:32

Yes bastard hand dryers, I am yet to know a toddler that isnt scared of them!

Jcee · 12/05/2013 22:42

We had this too largely due to the bastard hand dryers. DD used to flip out at the entrance and then wet herself and couldn't be cajoled inside whatsoever.

It took lots of reassurance and us keep trying all manner of toilets whilst out to bind her confidence as well as some bribery with chocolate.

Do you know what the issue is? Once I'd figured out it was the hand dryers we used to go to a toilet in our local shopping centre which didn't have hand dryers in and that seemed to help lots. She will now use any toilet but still gets a bit hesitant when she sees the hand dryer and I just drag her past and give anyone planning to use it a laser look

anniepanniepears · 12/05/2013 22:46

when my daughter was potty training many years ago I used to carry her loo seat out with me in a carrier bag, or she would not use the toilet.

ISeeSmallPeople · 12/05/2013 22:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theironfistofarkus · 12/05/2013 22:56

Try bringing one of the potette portable potties with you

Bumpsadaisie · 13/05/2013 12:46

My DD (nearly four) started to be terrified of hand dryers at about 18 mtgs.

She is still terrified now but we use the disabled loo and she knows that neither she nor I will turn on the handdryer so she can just about cope. She also knows that she can put her hands over her ears if she hears a handdryer. That said she still tries to cajole me into not washing my hands "just for today" so that she can get out of there asap!

Could you always take her in the disabled loo where it won't be noisy and unpredictable? For my DD its not only the noise, its the unpredictability of it, you never know when it will strike!

peppajay · 14/05/2013 18:46

My son was like this and still he is to a certain extent. He is in reception at school and has never used the toilet at school. Up until last summer he would never use any other toilet other than ours, eventually he started to use the one in Debenhams when we were in town and now will use most when we are out. He has issues about standing up to wee as he is very small and could never do it standing up when he was small and then when he did once he missed his aim so always has to sit down. I hate the fact he holds it in all day but as he sits he has to take all his bottom clothes off and he doesn't feel comfortable doing this if I am not around. He doesn't like the school ones because they smell, they don't smell horrible just have a distinct toilet smell and this is what he doesn't like. I just hope that within time he will start to use them as this time last year he was only using his own toilet. I don't make a huge fuss and just hope that by this time next year we will have progressed even more!!! Good luck x

lizabeth0607 · 19/05/2013 19:51

My daughter is terrified of them too, to the point where she is clawing my skin to hold onto me. Ive had to start playing music on my phone when I change her in them now, which really helps, think it was the echoey horrible silence she didn't like. She's only 18 months so still in nappies, dread trying to get her on a toilet!

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