Defiant and rude 5 yr old - HELP!

[tigersmummy]

DS 5.3 yrs has in recent weeks become very rude, backchatting constantly and basically defiant. I don't think this is a problem at school, we certainly haven't been told it is and definitely would be. So it seems its a backlash against us at home.
We are very consistent in our consequences: he gets stickers and rewards when he is asked to do certain things but if he is rude/backchatty/aggressive etc it is an immediate consequence, ie removal of a toy/priviledges. I know deep down it affects him and that he is upset by this, sometimes it will cause crying or tantrums, other times he seems to not be bothered, but as his mum I KNOW it is sinking in. It just seems to be taking a long time.
Any ideas?

No ideas, just sympathy.
DD sounds quite similar, her tone of voice is sometimes disgraceful. We have to ask her to do something several times before yelling like a banshee before she does it.
And the rest of the time she is a proper joy!
Hooray for ... Can you tell it's been one of those weekends?!
Punishments are much like yours, it will get better.

Sounds like a similar weekend to mine. This parenting lark is hard! Sympathy sending your way. I'm hoping that it is a phase and one that hopefully we can move through swiftly!

My son is the same age and doing the same. Ive put it down to 2 things, the testosterone surge that boys have age 5 and still adjusting to being in full time school. Im hoping once he starts year one I get my calm son back ;)

Sounds very familiar. DS2 is the same at the moment, add in the crying tantrums over not getting his own way over the slightest thing. Looking back I vaguely remember ds1 having the same phase near the end of reception. I think tiredness has a lot to do with it.

Repeating the mantra "it's just a phase" through gritted teeth helps a tiny bit

How about putting the responsiblity back with him and asking him "was that a nice thing to say?" or "would you speak to (teacher) in that way?" "was that a kind thing to do?" "how would you feel if a person said that to you?"

Good luck!