DD (2.7) refuses to say sorry - how far should I push it?

[cardamomginger]

That's it really. DD refuses to say sorry if she hurts me or does something naughty. I ask her and she goes all coy, wants a cuddle and keeps saying she doesn't want to. At this age, how far should I insist that she does say sorry?

I was wondering if there was a useful book all about saying sorry, that might be helpful. Has anyone come across anything? Any other tips??

TIA x

My DD went through that phase at that age. She's 2.10 now and just starting to say it, but I have to sit with her and keep explaining gently why (she hurt DS when she hit him and that made him sad, or whatever), and that whatever she did was bold and she's my good little girl and wouldn't do something like that again. Taking it very gently and being a bit sad, rather than annoyed, seems to make the biggest difference. And she needs big cuddles afterwards. She'll actually think about it for a few days and then randomly tell me 'and I won't do XYZ again' in the middle of a conversation about something else - and she generally doesn't repeat the offence. It's an interesting age : )

Personally I'm not sure how much good saying "sorry" does. It can end up being a bigger fight than the original crime.
At that age I tried to get them to do something to make it better, which I felt had more impact.

Saying "sorry" can become a word you say after you've been naughty without any other meaning at all. Or even as you're being naughty. one of ds's friends used to say "sorry" as or even before he hit, because his understanding was that saying "sorry" cancelled out the naughtiness.

When my two went through a phase of being reluctant to say the words I encouraged them to 'show' me that they were sorry - a cuddle was fine, but I used my words alongside it to reinforce that they were giving me a cuddle to help me feel better, as it were, rather than me cuddling them first off. And my return cuddle of them was a thank you cuddle for helping me feel better and let's put it behind us.

Thanks for the input everyone. I guess because DD is so verbal (and always has been) I've been focussing more on the words. Things to think about - thank you!