4yr old ds turned from sweetie to cheeky and he's driving me mad

[TheBreastmilksOnMe]

I want reassurance that his behaviour and my feelings towards him are normal if possible as its new territory.

He's very bright with lots of energy but uses it to get up to mischief sometimes, he's got an answer to everything, can be manipulative + cheeky and just does what he thinks even after me + dp say no.

Consequences are 'time out' or losing a privellage. Which do work but he does push boundaries and gets me cross.

He's just very frustrating and I'm finding him annoying which I hate feeling. Is this a normal stage of development and does it pass?

I have a younger daughter (2yrs) and she's totally different in character, very determined but very loving and affectionate. DS is more self-contained and doesn't like too many cuddles, always has been that way. I'm currently pregnant and finding with tirdeness and hormones I'm not enjoying DS at the moment and feel guilty about my feelings towards him.

yep, he's normal.
I find my kids do/say annoying most of the time - right now it's DS5 who keeps waking, crying & moaning every 10 mins (I haven't gone to bed yet, what's the point?) I know he has a cold and has bad dreams, still it's annoying!

try to involve him in what you are doing and give him responsibilities - he is old enough to wipe a shelf or fold some clothes. pairing socks is fun if you spin it that way!

give him choices, so he can make decisions about small "problems", but only ever give him 2 alternatives: do you want fish or chicken for diner? red or blue socks? playground or swimming?

he'll feel more in control and his testing you will ease off

Normal. I have DS1 who is 5, and he's been getting cheekier and naughtier since he turned 5, and worse since he started school. He's also had to content with me having DS2 just prior to his 5th birthday, but from what other friends say about their similar-aged children, his behaviour is the same as theirs so I don't think DS2 has had a huge impact on him or his behaviour.

I do find him very annoying at times, especially when I'm also dealing with DS2 - but I find that if I have a chat with him about why I'm getting annoyed, it helps me at least and we have a cuddle to make up for it.

The worst thing he does at the moment is tell me that he's going to do "what he likes whenever he wants to" - I, of course, have a different belief and I usually win, eventually.

Completly normal. Ds2 is 4yo too and going through exatly the same thing. Gets very annoying, and it's hard when there's another child who's very affetionate too. dd3 is 2yo too! It will pass. Did with ds1 at least! Found he became better after a year at school, so should be sorted out soon. Remember, he always loves you.

Mine is nearly 4 and is so cheeky and rude. He's an only child so maybe I've spoilt him? I'm finding him really difficult at the moment. It makes me sad because he will start school soon and I'm going back to work so basically from September will barely see him. Also we've discovered we are infertile so he will be my only child.
These facts should make me appreciate him more but he's so demanding, ungrateful, selfish and aggressive that I'm struggling. He's started making up random nonsense words so I can't get any sense out of him and he can't play alone for longer than three minutes. He has to be occupied from the minute he wakes until the second he goes to bed and it's bloody hard work.

He's always been hard work but these last few months he's also become very bolshy and bossy and cheeky.

Thanks guys for your suggestions and experiences Lucy, 'remember he always loves you' brought a lump to my throat (darn pregnancy hormones) but its a good point to keep in mind when I'm struggling and it doesn't feel like it cos he does, and I love him to bits. Incidentally he's been an absoloute love today, very helpful and funny, like having my little boy back!