New sibling coming in 2 weeks and DS holding urine - please help!

[berri]

We are expecting a sister for 4 year old DS in a couple of weeks, and he's started to develop some really strange loo habits.

I think he's holding urine back, as he's going about 4 or 5 times an hour, just a little at a time.

I'm not sure whether I'm supposed to ignore it and just let him go as often as he likes, or actually tell him he's not 'allowed' to go until I know he is going to have a full-ish bladder.

I don't want it to turn into a problem, I'm guessing it's a control issue so I'm trying to give him lots of extra attention.

I'd really appreciate any advice.

Meant to add that I took him to the doc about 2 weeks ago to rule out a UTI....

Maybe he's worried that once the new baby comes he won't have as much attention so is attention seeking? Personally I would ignore it and reassure him about what will happen when the baby comes that he will still be as loved and important as the new baby, etc.

Yes I think that's probably the case - I have had a lot of chats with him about how he'll still be important and we'll still do all the same things together etc, but I don't know if he really listens when I talk to him!

Has anyone else come across this?

Hi - my ds has had this kind of behaviour from age 3 and still witholds wee at 8 (big sigh). I would recommend giving ERIC helpline a ring or sending an email to their helpline. www.eric.org.uk They are really good.

Thank you - I'll take a look.

Today was terrible, he must have been to the loo about 50 times, just a tiny dribble each time and he gets so upset, it's heartbreaking

Hi,

Probably not the most relevant comparison given the age gap, but my dh has this problem. His wee is delivered in dribbles and he can easily spend 20min having a wee while he waits for just a little more to come out (and waits and waits).

The situation is 100x worse when he is stressed, ill or run down.

He has seen a urologist. It is caused by a muscle that won't relax properly when it's time to wee. When he's stressed it tightens even more! I think another man in his family has the same (though it's not discussed).

Your last post about your ds just having a dribble and then getting very upset really struck a chord with me. If he were purposely withholding why would get get upset?

Could it be like my dh? Possibly it is the way his body is reacting to the stress of your pregnancy? Did he always wee relatively often/small amounts?

Either way I would ignore and reassure him as you're already doing.

Could you reintroduce a potty so he can use it freely without the perceived drama of leaving the room for the toilet?

Thanks piggy, the potty idea might be worth looking into, sorry to hear about your DH having this problem too.

I was googling last night and found a term called Pollakiuria - everything matches up and it said it will eventually go on its own, but is brought on by stress or anxiety, which just makes me feel terrible.

The advice was a little conflicting too, a lot of websites said to totally ignore it and let him go whenever he likes, and the others said to introduce rewards for waiting a particular number of minutes, so I'm still not sure what's best!

I was going to also suggest reintroducing a potty. Does he do this at school/nursery? If he is doing it there as well I think a trip back to the drs is in order. Maybe a referral to a paedatrician or a urologlogist might be required. I would not ignore it especially if it distresses him.

He does it at nursery (he's there for 3hrs Mon-Fri) but not as frequently as at home or other people's houses. Googling seems to suggest its not a medical problem but a psychological one, so I don't think another trip to the doc would help.

Today we've tried to distract him as much as possible and managed to keep it to one trip an hour. A vast improvement on yesterday! Also planning a very quiet week with mainly one on one time. Hope the baby doesn't arrive imminently!