2.5yo not coping with arrival of new baby

[BlackSwan77]

I just need to offload, and hopefully get some advice. It's the age old problem - my beautifully behaved DD, who always went to bed without a quibble and slept 12 hours straight, has been acting up ever since I brought DD2 home from hospital 2 weeks ago.

She refuses to get into bed, saying she's scared and that her feet are sore (she really seems in pain and cries tears). Her feet are fine throughout the day, though if a tantrum starts brewing the 'ow ow ow my FOOT HURTS' starts up again - so I think it's in her head. She's a good actress though.

She eventually goes to sleep in our bed and has to be transferred into her bed later. She then wakes at about 3am and screams the house down for hours, and usually ends up back in our bed as we're desperate.

In the meantime, I'm doing constant night feeding of DD2 and I'm becoming totally wrecked.

I know some people have horrific experiences of their toddlers biting and hurting newborn siblings, so my problems are small, but it's still distressing - both the complete lack of sleep and seeing our daughter so confused.

Any advice or shared experiences welcome, it's nice knowing we're not alone.

Hello there. I assume you are already doing all the old tricks of telling her what a great big sister she is and how much baby loves her. How lucky you are to have a good helper. Getting her to do 'jobs' like sing for baby, fetch baby rattle etc.
I found these things helped a lot. We had a 2.5 year gap.

Also does she settle ok for dh? Can he take over all of her night wakings, so you can focus on newborn?

My dd was 22mths when the baby arrived, I just avoided the issue completely and let her sleep in my bed 100%. It worked absolutely fine and I felt really glad of my sleep. Although ds is now 3mths and I'm still co sleeping with both.

I think you should continue as you are. Let her go to sleep in your bed, carry her through when asleep and let her back when she wakes. She may stop waking after a few weeks so you'll have the whole night to yourself.

Also as your baby is only 2wks don't feel as though you have to have everything sorted straight away, you are all in the middle of a big upheaval.

I hope that's of some help, no advice as such but at least you're not alone!

Thanks guys, things have actually calmed down a lot. DD1 had a couple of nights of screaming and refusal to sleep in her own bed, then announced 'I'm not scared anymore' and last night slept through in her own bed without a peep.
It must be a total shock when your stay at home mother goes into hospital for three days and comes home with a demanding new baby, I don't know why we were so surprised she flipped out!