Son is nasty to his imaginary friend

[MeAndMyLittleMan]

My son is 4, he has some sort of imaginary friend although she seems to be more of an emotional punching bag and i'm just worried. Apparently shes only small and i found it quite weird that it's a girl he has made up in his mind, because i remember having imaginary friends and they were all girls and i knew my brother had them and they were all boys. But he is constantly telling her off for playing with his toys, using really aggressive tones and "telling" on her. I try telling him to be nice to her because its nice to be nice to people but all he says is ok and then when i'm out of the room he does it again. I do find he does it more when i have just told him off, usually for not helping tidy up or throwing things etc. but i don't bully him or anything like the other reports on the internet say. I have asked his pre-school but they say everything is fine and if there is a scuffle then apparently he stands up for himself. I just don't know if it's something to go to the doctors about or i'm just worrying about things too much.

I'm no psychiatrist but think you're worrying about nothing. My DD (3) and her best friend (a boy) both have imaginary friends that they're quite horrid to at times. The IFs are also horrid and even gang up on the two of them sometimes. DD's, in particular, are very naughty and need to be severely punished at times.

I think (hope!) it's just acting out what could be, what might be, etc, not really fantasy fulfilment.

DD's imaginary friends also 'tell' her to do lots of naughty things. Sometimes she obeys, but she's doing this less often. They get the blame quite a bit.

At other times, they've been very reassuring for her. Definitely on the wane now - we don't hear about them so much.

He's exploring the concept of 'being told off' and 'telling others off' through the medium of play. Through this process he will begin to understand the rules and emotions involved.

It's possible that it's been triggered by something happening at pre-school but it could just as easily be something he's seen happen to others as something which has happened to him personally.

Maybe you could help him develop his understanding by responding differently when he invites you to join in by telling tales. You could ask him how he's feeling and how his friend might be feeling and why. Maybe this will help him answer some questions and his play will move on.

I agree with Gold and that it could be something from school...maybe there's a bossy girl there?

But I have a 5 year old DD and she plays with her dolls and has them do horrid things all the time! It's normal to a degree.