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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

clingy 16 week old

15 replies

Youngmumzzy18 · 27/03/2013 22:47

hiya! i have a 16 week old lg and the only way i can get her to sleep is breastfeeding..its a bit of a struggle because if i try to do some washing or have a bath or pop to the shops while shes asleep (shes very clingy when shes awake) she'll wake up again and scream because shes tired and the only way she'll go back to sleep is breastfeeding. ive tried leaving her with my mum with a small bottle of water..even my mum singing huming and bouncing her doesnt work anymore ( we have both tried) any mummies please reply i need some advice x

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anonymosity · 28/03/2013 02:54

She's a small baby who needs her mummy and her milk. Not water, that won't cut it. Have you tried a sling / baby papoose? You can get on with things and she can sleep on your front and feel secure.

monsterchild · 28/03/2013 02:58

Also do not underestimate the secure swaddle for helping her get to sleep, and the bouncy chair so she can watch you while you shower., that's what I do with my DS, he gets to sit in the bathroom with me while I shower.

And I second anonymosity, she's a baby, she needs someone there, and if she's is breastfed water isn't doing her any good. Can you experss some for your mom to give her?

Original poster

Youngmumzzy18 · 28/03/2013 09:18

i didnt agree with water myself but thats wat my health visitor suggested...expressing milk is quite a challenge for me and even when i do its a struggle to get her to drink out of the bottle...i swaddle her at night so i know it helps but its not so much her staying asleep that gets me...its the gettimg her to sleep in a different way....because i feel like im overfeeding her because of this and i must be as shes always spittin it back up

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Original poster

Youngmumzzy18 · 28/03/2013 09:24

plus she always has someone with her i never leave her on her own...i also did try having her in a baby carrier while she was sleeping so i could get on with things but that didnt work either and where i have a curved spine it didnt help my back (i dont mean to sound selfish)

OP posts:

HearMyRoar · 28/03/2013 13:26

If she's spitting up then I would pop to the gp and ask about reflux. This could be what's causing her to wake. If you are bf then I really don't think you could be over feeding!

UniqueAndAmazing · 28/03/2013 16:05

don't leave her with a small bottle of water

please don't.
your baby is tiny, she has a tiny tummy, and she wants to be close to her mummy.
I know it's frustrating, I've been there - DD is now 15.5mo, and she still won't sleep without a BF. But please just keep at it.

I swing between being so annoyed that she just won't sleep without me, to thinking "actually, why does it matter? who is it hurting?"
answer is it's not hurting anyone. it soothes and comforts the baby, and it's what nature meant for you to do.
It is disheartening, but remember "this too shall pass" and just stare lovingly at your DD as she gets to sleep in the way that only you can help with.

please, please don't worry about it or stress, just breathe deeply and go with it.

and definitely don't give her water.

UniqueAndAmazing · 28/03/2013 16:07

oh, one thing that really helped with DD when she was that small, was a bouncy chair. dead cheap one from argos.
this one is the one, and it's on special offer

i used to strap her in when she was tired (during the day) and rock it with my feet until she dropped off (just push your foot against the leg of it).
It doesn't give her a long sleep, but plenty long enough to do what you need to.

It worked until she was starting to try to crawl, then it was back to the boob (because she wouldn't stay still long enough)

Original poster

Youngmumzzy18 · 28/03/2013 18:20

she does have reflux..that was diagnosed about a week or two ago...shes asleep now and i have been thinking im being really selfish :(

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PrimalChic · 02/04/2013 00:11

Going through exactly the same with my DS. Can't offer much on the way of advice, just wanted to let you know it's normal and you're not alone. Especially in feeling selfish, I do too. I'm exhausted and I just really need a little time to myself.

It's a phase, they'll grow out of it. Or grow through it; I'm telling myself it's a prolonged growth spurt!

MsPickle · 02/04/2013 01:01

Hi both my ds and dd were/are reflux Babies. Breast milk and the comfort of sucking helped them both. It sounds like you're doing the very best you can. Don't feel bad about the sling! We have a swing for dd (eBay bargain) that's definitely helped her. As did putting a wedge in her bed/cot.

Have you looked at the no cry sleep solution. Really helped us with ds who wouldn't sleep.

And remember, it's really not forever. Ds doesn't have reflux now and goes to bed under his own steam. Good luck!

Original poster

Youngmumzzy18 · 03/04/2013 13:24

thanks for the advice its good to know im not alone..shes starting to get abit better but still abit clingy x

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Queenofknickers · 03/04/2013 15:08

My DS1 sat on my lap for 2 years (despite arrival ofDS2) so I hear you! careful with the sling - I have just had to have spinal surgery due to damage caused by perpetual sling wearing. What helped my DS was

Swaddling and rolling up blankets either side so he felt like he was being held
Muslin in Moses basket that I'd worn in my bra ( I k ow that sounds grim but I was desperate) so it smelt of me
Checking with GP - my DS had "silent" reflux so no actual puking but acid in throat waking him
A self-rocking swing ( only way I was able to go to loo for first 6 mos)!

Original poster

Youngmumzzy18 · 03/04/2013 20:46

queenofknickers thank u so so much...at night shes swaddled with rolled up blankets at that keeps her asleep..she has got reflux it was confirmed by the GP...the carrier done my back in after i came home with her i couldnt move the rest of the day so im unsure whether to try again...ive tried her in her swing (it self rocks)not a chance...she gets bored very very quickly

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MeAndMyLittleMan · 03/04/2013 22:00

It is good to keep her comforted but if you get to a stage where you cannot do it anymore, let her cry a bit. It's not going to hurt her just keep checking on her and if you feel like she has had enough milk (as only you know) then you know whats best. I know it's hard but if she is getting too clingy it may be best to stand back just a little, let her have a cry and get her used to you not being constantly at her side, as im sure there are a lot of other things you need to do as well. Of course it's just a theory and it may not work but if you do get to a bad point, just standing back for 10 mins will not hurt anyone. hope it helps.

LadyWidmerpool · 03/04/2013 22:16

The carrier you had might not have been optimal for your back. If you have a sling library or a babywearing consultant in your area they could help you try different styles and methods of carrying. High street carriers are definitely not always the most comfortable option. Apologies if you have had help already but I thought it was worth suggesting.

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