Self feeding - 1 year old

[MrsRV]

Am I a bad mum for keeping the food bowl/plate away from my child & just giving her pieces of food or a loaded spoon/fork? Feeling guilty for not letting her have the whole plate/bowl so that she can try herself... Couldn't bear the picking baked beans up with her fingers and She'll only launch it!! I do give her little tubs of "safe food" I.e grapes etc. when did your children start feeding themselves fully??

My dd is 2 next month and only just started feeding herself with a spoon. I hate mess so have pretty much fed her up until now. She's only fed herself dry food, crisps, fruit, sandwich etc... She feeds herself beautifully so definitely not been held back by me doing it until now.

I just used to slop a portion of food on a tray and used a suction bowl for cereal and pudding. I gave them a spoon / fork and they mostly threw it on the floor until around 18 months ish when the decided to give it a go.

Dts are 2,9 now and still sometimes revert to eating with their fingers if they are really hungry. I don't think it really matters how you do things I am sure they will all be doing the same thing when they are 21.

Ds who is 14 months has mastered the art of feeding himself.

However I do tend to feed him first and let him have the plate and spoon once the main bulk of food has been eaten.

At least by doing it this way I know he has eaten enough and if he does decide to tip it all over his head like this evening there wasn't too much left so the mess was minimal!

I think oz summed it up perfectly, they'll all be doing it the same by 21. I'm in the same camp as you, can't stand the mess and actually think my ds eats far more if I feed him. My ds is 20 months and I usually feed him his main meals. He's perfectly able to use a spoon / fork etc and I always let him self feed his pudding and all finger foods.
Don't worry, you're far from a bad mother. Do whatever suits you and your little one. I'm yet to meet an adult that's still fed by its mum which leads me to believe that they all get there on the end!

Hi got a baby of 13 months and she has about a month ago refuses to eat if we try to feed her at dinner time. We figured out she sees all of us eating on our own and my 5 year old as well and want to do it herself. She happily eats with a spoon or finger and would eat all on her own. So we go along with whatever feels right for her. I think it depends on you and your baby. For my first I never let her that early I hated the mess everywhere but I think I have learnt now that you got to go with the flow, mess can be cleared up and whatever feels right for you and baby.

Hmm. My honest answer is, hard as it is, you need to relax and just let her get on with it. My DD and DS both fed themselves by 12 months.

My son is now 17 mths and creates an enormous amount of mess. Its very draining cleaning it all up. I let him get on with it but keep a beady eye on him. When he lifts the bowl to chuck it, I leap in and take it and offer him his drink! I am teaching him to "give me" the bowl when he is finished and say "all gone" and he is slowly starting to do this rather than throw it.

Although he is messy he does eat everything, and I think (from experience of older DD) that if you let them have control, it is easier later on when they are toddlers as they don't create such a battleground out of it.

Just my opinion though.

Good luck.

I know they all get there eventually, but it's a skill like anything else. How will they learn if they can't practise? I just went with it for a few months and treated it as messy play as well. I did, however, become far too familiar with the patch of floor underneath DS's highchair

6mo, both of them.

Agree with fliss. You get less precious when it's number two or three, as well. They can be weaned when they take food off the table for themselves! Mine both fed themselves from day one of weaning.

6 months. DS is 17 months old now and can manage with a fork,spoon and knife (when he wants to). It is messy, but toddlers are messy.

We are lucky to have a very greedy dog, she takes care of the mess!

6 months self feeding with his hands and 9 months with a spoon. Due to being frustratingly independent ds2 who is now 11 months will only use a metal spoon and fork just like his big brother. Yes it was messy but the bonus is now he is actually quite good at it and happily finishes a meal which before would have been a complete battle. Each are different though.

Mine all self fed from 6,the with the occasional spoon full from Mr, I just let them get on with it.

From 6mths that should be.

Our DD decided at around 9 months that she preferred not to be spoon and since then it's been mainly finger foods on the highchair tray. That includes thinks like baked beans, and pasta with sauce

Now we sometimes let her have food on a plate, but we have to watch, and she's interested in using a spoon herself but not very skilled yet.

From 12 months DS was having a go with a bowl and spoon (and fingers) and by 18 months could feed himself pretty well. If you never give her the opportunity how will she learn?

Dd has always self fed from 6mo.but like you OP i preloaded spoons and put finger foods on her tray for her to pick at.

Now at 15mo she self feeds with a spoon from the plate, and can scoop food out of a bowl / yoghurt pot.

We went on holiday with DS when he was 21 months, and he was definitely fully feeding himself with a spoon and fork by that point.

Dd is 1 and has been self feeding since 6 months. She has always been a good eater and loves her food. We used to just put it in the tray but have recently started using a China side plate which she eats off really well and hasn't flung once (the previous attempts at plastic ones always resulted in it flying across the room, I think maybe the weight of the proper plate stops the flinging).

She has not got even close to mastering a spoon, I just don't think she sees the point of them at the moment and she does still just drop anything she doesn't want over the side of her chair but that's getting less and we just have a table cloth under her chair that gets scooped up and shaken out into the bin so no bother at all to clear up.