Almost 1 and still not sleeping!

[justhayley]

Hi my DS will be 1 in 3 weeks, I breast feed and co sleep and am yet to have a full nights sleep.

He was potentially 5 weeks premature, my due date from 12 week scan made him 38 weeks, however I always knew I wasn't that far gone as my partners in the Army so I knew when he was home. When DS was born midwives said he was no more than 35 weeks gestation - which would more match my dates.
Anyway he was 5lbs and had low sugar levels so had to be woken to eat every 2 hours.

Since birth he's never really slept longer than 2 hours at a time. We get the odd night where he'l go 3 and probably less than 5 times has he ever slept for 4.
Due to DPs work I'm alone Monday- Friday, I never wanted to co sleep but DS hated the Moses and woke every 15 mins when in it, so Id bring him in my bed due to sheer exhaustion. The only time he'l sleep is in the buggy if I'm walking or in my arms.

At almost 1 I'm exhausted & am desperate for change.

When he wakes he's having milk - he's eating solids in the day but I dont think enough which might be why he's still waking in the night?

We struggle with food (well he does I love my food), he gags on everything & ends up bringing it up, or will have a few spoonfalls of something then refuse to have anymore.

I really need to get his food & sleeping problems solved and him out of my bed for longer than 15 minutes.
Iv spoken to the HV but they are pretty rubbish.

He's a really happy baby, he's reaching his milestones and although is only on the 9th centile so smaller than his buddies he's following his line & growing well. He has loads of energy and last week took his first steps. Development wise I'm not concerned, but I can't continue functioning or not on such little sleep for much longer.

Please help
All advice welcome and NEEDED!!

Hayley x

Could you stretch to a sleep clinic? We used one for DS1, it was about £250 and they completely sorted him out in a fortnight (quite gently, I didn't want to do controlled crying). We used the same one for DS2 and they helped a lot in terms of teaching him to self settle and dramatically reducing night wakings, but he still doesn't sleep through the night at almost 2 (usually only one waking though, not too awful....). Sorry not to give you more specific advice but the things the sleep clinic had us doing were quite tailored to each child, based on their own patterns (each plan was based on "gradual retreat" though, you could google that).

Oh hon :( big hugs, sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture for a reason!

I can't help much, but have you looked into night weaning? I think dr jay Gordon does a co-sleeping version? Ds stopped taking night feeds around that age - but he was in a cot and was generally a good sleeper so no real experience of what you're going through I'm afraid. I will say that if sleep training is what you want to do, as you're currently knackered you may well need help from your dp - does he have leave coming up? Or you said he's there weekends? Can you at least get some rest during nap times?

Re weaning - will he eat finger foods? If its any consolation, ds (18mo) was a nightmare for appetite/eating until 15mths or so. He now is a fussy bugger instead - but at least has an appetite finally!

Hello

I just wanted to share your pain.

My daughter is 13 months and never sleeps more than 2-3 hours. Actually 3 hours is amazing.

She is breastfed and is still drinking in the night. She eats a lot of solids though! It's only this past month she's suddenly been eating like a horse.

She wakes up a lot and has to get my nipple to go back to sleep, even if she doesn't drink :-(
We co-sleep. The beautiful mamas and papas cot looks good at least lol.

I really have no advice but wanted to let you know that you're not alone.
I don't know what to do, and controlled crying isn't going to be an option for us.

What do sleep clinics do?

Also, she was born on her due date and a healthy 8lb 1oz

Hi Hayley,
He sounds as though he's doing really well.
If it's any consolation I don't think he is at all unusual in either his feeding or his sleeping. My little boy didn't have ( or rather let me have) a full night's sleep until he was 18 months and didn't sleep through with any regularity until age 2. He would eat anything and everything and remains a proper chunk and is now a fantastic sleeper (age 3). My little girl is now 14 months, doesn't eat very much in the way of solids, breastfeeds regularly, and wakes 2 or 3 times a night. She went into her own room about a month ago but comes in with us on her first waking where she stays for the rest the night. My nights are broken which takes it's toll, but I don't actually lose much sleep as she just cuddles up beside me.
So the problem seems to be that you feel he needs more food during the day and the exhaustion that you are experiencing with broken sleep? Milk is still a large part of the diet at this stage so I personally wouldn't be too concerned. Maybe a variety of finger foods that he can play with and test to encourage his interest? Multigrain hoops, pasta, chopped dried apricots, sweetcorn, satsumas...all sorts really.
Do you feed lying down so you can sleep as you feed? Constantly feeling burnt out is horrible and I do sympathise. Elizabeth Pantley's Sleep solution book may be helpful.

Hi all, thanks for your messages.
Nice to know it's not just me awake at night. All the mums iv met with babies DS age are all sleeping through and have been for a while - I know I shouldn't compare but sometimes it's hard not to.

I do manage to feed lying down but I can't fall asleep while he's feeding - believe me I try!

Will have a look at sleep clinics - didn't know there was such a thin to be honest.

Last night he woke every hour which was a killer hoping tonight is slightly easier

Well, dd eats constantly but her sleep is still appalling. I did find that it has improved a bit since reaching 1 but she is now teething so back to shit again.

One thing that did help get her to sleep 2-3 hours rather then 1 hour was realising she had an issue with dairy and cutting this out. So maybe worth looking into food I tolerances.

Have you been to your gp? I ended up going recently as I was a mess and she was really nice. She discussed her sleeping and eating and gave her a good check over. It was just good to check that there was nothing physically I was missing that might have accounted for dd's awful sleeping. It might be a gp will spot or suggest something you have missed or at least reassure you what is normal. In my experience they are more helpful with this sort of thing then our HV.