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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

Can't cope with ds's tantrums he is2 next month any ideas??

13 replies

notamorningmum · 08/05/2006 12:56

I would be grateful for any discpline ideas that work as am getting to the end of my teather not to mention the bottom of the paracetamol packet!!!

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Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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dionnelorraine · 08/05/2006 15:18

What kind of tantrums?
Crying fits, Shouting, Violant Tantrums??

My brother was like this at about 2 yrs old. And my step mum used to use the 'naughty mat' It worked eventually but its hard work. My dd isnt quite as old yet so cant comment as a mother.

Original poster

notamorningmum · 10/05/2006 12:51

a naughty mat what a great idea hadnt though of that will try it and see thanks

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Original poster

notamorningmum · 10/05/2006 12:51

a naughty mat what a great idea hadnt though of that will try it and see thanks

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moondog · 10/05/2006 12:53

Hmmm,my ds is 2 in July and I think he is too young for a 'naughty mat/step'.
However,for the first time ever today,I walked away when he had a tantrum over something trivial.
He cried and screamed for 10 minutes then forgot all about it.

Blackduck · 10/05/2006 12:58

diversions....he is only 2 - he isn't (necessarily) doing this to wind you up, much as it might feel like it. He is frustated at what he can/can't do....divert if you can.....and pick your arguments.
Also agree with Mooddog - think 2 is too young for naughty step idea - don't think they 'get it'. Ds is 3 (just) and understands such concepts, but he didn't at 2

BettySpaghetti · 10/05/2006 12:58

My DS is 2 next month.
I find the best thing at the moment is to distract him before you get to the full blown tantrum.
If you see the signs (and you'll probably recognise them by now) change your approach, distract him (ooh did you see that bird over there etc).
Failing that, I agree with moondog that you have to ignore the tantrums over trivial stuff. Just make sure hes safe and turn away, pick up a book or something so he doesn't get your attention until he's calmed down.

Blackduck · 10/05/2006 12:58

ditto BS

gomez · 10/05/2006 13:06

DD2 will be 2 next month and is a horror at the moment. I try and pick my arguments carefully and TBH just step over her when she really gets going. So if for example she want to take 5 teddies in the car I let her as it ain't too much hassle but when she then wants to add in a parm and shopping trolley to push them in then I say no.

She won't be distracted from her mission (unlike DD1 who could always be brought around with something) so I just leave her to get on with it. I say I'll come back in 5 mins and see if you are ready to do whatever and then walk away. And then go back every couple of minutes or so.

If she is hitting/kicking out/slapping I hold her arms/legs whatever, make eye contact and make it clear that isn't on.

If it is any consolation she spend 40 mins sitting on her trike in the garden on Monday roaring 'Park. Mummy. Push. Now.' I managed a cup of tea and a quick read of the paper .

speedymama · 10/05/2006 14:19

My DTS are 26 months and if one is misbehaving badly, I turn my back on him and lavish all my attention on the other one. Always works! If both are misbehaving, I turn my back on both and ignore them. They soon calm down. If they are really disruptive, I put them in the play pen and go into another room for 2 minutes. Even though they scream the place down, I leave them because I want them to know that I mean business. Works every time and I rarely have to do it now. I just have to threaten it and they stop. The funny thing is, I put them in the play pen in the morning when DH and I are getting ready for work and they don't mind so they understand the different connatations of its use

izzybiz · 10/05/2006 18:18

you havent seen a tantrum untill youve seen my Dd!!! she is 2 on sunday.
she can go for ages, rolling around the floor, all snot, hair and tears!
i just ignore her till she stops screaming and then talk to her, they are becoming fewer and farther between.

nightowl · 10/05/2006 18:32

wish i knew. apart from work im practically a prisoner in my own home for dd's tantrums. sympathy coming your way.

Original poster

notamorningmum · 12/05/2006 13:26

Big thanks for all your suggestions i have begun ignoring/distracting and extra praise for being good and am pleased to say it is working but am now stuck with a son who has decided he wont stay in his cot and is getting up loads ..errgg any ideas appreciated!!

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FairyMum · 12/05/2006 13:38

I have an 18 year-month old prone to tantrums at the moment. I find that distraction works at this age. I start to play with his toys and look like I really enjoy myself and then he will forget about his tantrum and come over and play. I sometimes just pick up a paper and totally ignore too. With my older I used to just walk away, but I think 18 months is a bit young and you should not leave them as it can be a bit overwhelming for them.

Have you tried bursting into song and dance in front of him? Sometimes shocks them out of their tantrum. I find it still works with my 4.5 year-old too. Obviously a bit difficult if you are in the middle of Sainsbury's though.......

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