grr just when I thought we had it, it's gone downhill

[cleoowen]

Hi all
I posted about the fact my 9 week old would not nap during the day. MN advice was to just go with the flow more, which I ve tried doing and so was managing to get him to have morning naps in his Moses. But recently this has gone out the window again and he just cannot seem to pass into a deep sleep even when he does drop off.

I ve tried everything and I am doing the feed, activity, sleep routine loosely. I ve tried putting him down after wrapping him up and rocking and shhh ing in darkened room after,the first yawn, after the second yawn, waiting until the 4th/5th yawn, after.1 hr and 20 mins after waking up, 2hrs after waking up. I then get him to nearly be asleep in my arms and,he does the same again if put on my bed,or on sofa. .

He either wakes as soon as I put him down and cries, lies happily for a bit trying to go to sleep and,then cries when he can't or drops off for a moment and then wakes up again, even when I ve been rocking him and stroking his,head.

On top of this,he is waking earlier and earlier during the night when he,used to go much longer. He would always re settle,pretty quickly after a feed and coo for a bit before going back to sleep. Now,he cannot seem to go back to sleep, again waking up when I put him down after rocking or waking himself up when in Moses basket.

Where has,my good sleeper,gone? I am worried,he's getting towards 12 Weeks when he begins to learn behaviour and form habits and,he cannot resettle. Is this just a phrase? I am thinking,maybe hunger would explain the night time behaviour.

thought I had,it sussed but he's gone backwards.

Yeah a phase I think. All of ours never progressed linearly on any of these kind of things: all phases. Heading towards 12 weeks they start struggling to get through the night without solid food... in a bit when he does move on to solids it gets much better (until the teething...)

Ah babies are so tricky, if only they came with their own personalised manual! I've been thinking that ever since I had ds, who is now 4, although I have also tried and failed to locate his 'mute' button and 'snooze'. I live in hope and denial still with dd, who is 4 months.

Hard to know what is going on with your ds. If he is grizzly quite a lot, particularly after feeds, and doesn't like being laid flat, have you considered he might have reflux? Some babies have silent reflux - ds a case in point - so not vomiting doesn't rule this out. If you aren't sure or have concerns it might be worth going to see your GP about. The other possibility, which is quite likely as all babies are like this given the chance, is that Mummy's arms are nice and soft and snuggly and safe, and he would rather stay there thank you very much! That's a difficult one and can only be improved by just continuing to put him down and not let him get too used to being cuddled all the time. Try not to fall into the trap of always cuddling him to sleep and then putting him down. Guaranteed he'll wake up and howl that he has suddenly found himself in this less comfy and warm basket.

Dd doesn't have regular naps during the day. She naps either in her little chair, if given the chance by lively ds and not rudely awakened after 2 minutes by him charging through the room like a herd of elephants or trying to give her a loving hug. Or she'll sleep in her car seat when we go out places. Sometimes she'll fall asleep on the school run in my baby carrier. The pattern is: at some point she'll get tired and doze off for a varying amount of time. Basically, there is no pattern. This doesn't seem to do her any harm and she sleeps at night from about 11pm till 7am (some grunty noises from 6ish which I ignore or give her a dummy, which she is happy to be fobbed off with). I wouldn't worry about the naps - I do believe that babies will sleep when they really need to.

Your ds might also be having a little growth spurt. That may be why he's up more at night. If so, if you ride it out they usually settle again within a week. All the best x

Feed, activity, sleep NEVER worked for us - I just found that they wouldn't settle hungry. Feeding to sleep worked every time.

doesn't seem to work for us either without hard work and so hit and miss. I do think why don't I just make life easy for myself? But worried if I do this now I will have more trouble later when trying to get him to sleep without feeding. How did you get him out that habit once he was older? Just tried it after 25 minute feed and he woke despite being snuggled up to me?

mummy2 the problem is he just would not sleep. I ve tried observing him and he will show tired signs but just does not drop off of his own accord apart from when we are out and even then he wakes up as soon as I get him out the car or get him home.

is it likely he will always be like this or will I find as,he gets older he will want to sleep more of his own accord and this worrying is fruitless?

Stopping feeding to sleep wasn't a problem for either of my two - did it to about six months and then started putting them down full and drowsy but not actually conked, and took it from there. It really wasn't a problem.

If you are going to f2s then you do have to wait till they're pretty solidly out for the count - gone floppy and not making sucking motions with their mouths any more, and it can take 15m or more before they move into that deep sleep, but it's definitely worth a go.