21 month old fussy eater & tea time problems

[Flossy78]

Hi my 21 month old DD has always been a fussy eater. Tbh I think she takes after DH's family and just isn't that bothered by eating. We've managed it most of the time but she is going through a stage now where she is refusing her evening meal and asking for pudding. I try varying the meals to try and encourage her but she gets upset and cries for pudding. I am quite soft and usually give in but DH has stepped in and said if she refuses her meal and one other alternative then she goes without pudding. I feel terrible as she is slim and I hate denying her any food even if it is pudding! I'd be grateful for any advice. Is DH being too harsh or is he right?

Think DH is being too lenient personally .

I would stop doing puddings every day. Just have them one or two days a week. I'd also offer just one choice, but make sure there is at least one thing on her plate you know she will eat and just let her get on with it. If she refuses you are just going to have to assume she's not hungry and let her skip meals if that's what she chooses. She won't starve. I'd also cut down on snacks and if she's having lots of milk, I'd cut her down to the 300ml recommendation.

We've done this with our dd and she eats much better. There's a similar thread going on here which might be helpful.

Thanks so much for the advice. Will def give it all a go DD has just gone to bed with no dinner. As she refused anything I gave her. I stayed strong & didn't let her have pudding. I hate her going to bed without a meal inside her but hope this will break the cycle soon!

I used to worry about dd going to bed without a meal but if you keep a diary of what they eat over a week it will hopefully help you be more relaxed over the odd refused meal

How are the portion sizes?

And maybe a 'picky' meal just to get her interested for the time being and make it a little more fun?

So, maybe, come chopped chicken, cucumber and carrot sticks, couple of grapes or chopped apple, a cheese on toast triangle, a little yogurt etc

Or maybe a small dinner like scrambled egg and a small portion of beans and toast? Toasted tea cakes?

What puddings are you giving? Maybe keep puddings as fruit or yogurts mon-fri and treat puds for weekend?

Generally I'd say keep very calm about it. Make no fuss. She may be using it as an attention tool?

And definitely agree with the food diary for the time being. You'd be surprised how it adds up (just need to look at my hips for proof)

Thanks for the reply. Portion sizes are quite small as she only ever eats tiny amounts. Think I will def try picky teas as an alternative as she really doesn't seem to want a hot dinner. If she wasn't so skinny I wouldn't worry so much. Sometimes what she eats in a day wouldn't keep a sparrow alive! Puddings are usually yogurts or rice pudding as she won't even entertain fruit at the minute! She is well in herself and very bright. I think we will always have food issues with her so I need to make sure I don't let her see me worry as I would hate for her to have any issues with food in the future. I try to keep calm and relaxed in front of her. I just worry myself to death behind the scenes!

At that age I would often do a picky lunch for dd while it was just me and her but Di a family meal for all of us together.

Just out of interest, what type of milk is she on and how much does she have?

Hi, just wanted to add my two penneth worth and I'm sure I'll get flamed for it but DD is almost two and sometimes she eats, sometimes she doesn't. But I've always been very flippant Irish mammy about it, just like I was brought up and as a result DD has absolutely no concept of liking or not liking food. It's all the same. She has what we have, when we have it and if she doesn't eat it it's taken away. She won't starve. I know that sounds really harsh but I do feel that kids learn fussiness if you allow it.

Thanks for the replies ladies. I think I probably just need to chill out about the whole thing! I will try to just offer her food and not take so much notice of what is eaten and what isn't. She is well in herself which I guess is the main thing. Since I became a mum I just feel the need to feed her but I ended up with a child who isn't very hungry!

In reply about her milk. She has full fat cows milk, about 100 mls in morning and about the same just before bed.

I'd keep a food diary for the next couple of weeks at least. It should help you realise that the odd missed meal isn't really an issue and hopefully get into Percances zen like state

Thanks yes I will keep a diary. I'd loved to be as chilled as Perchance Maybe one day....