4yo boy behaviour

[HeyJo]

When I take my ds to playgroup (he does 5 mornings and has been going for over a year), when he arrives and the staff or other children greet him he glazes over, looks like he has gone into a trance and doesn't respond at all. Once he's 'warmed up', he's ok. Although he does go into a trance sometimes especially if a staff member is telling him off about something.

Just wondered whether anyone else's children do this? I've never seen any of the other children behave like this. Any tips for encouraging him to say hello in the mornings?

Yes! DS is 3.6yrs and often when we get to preschool I see all the other kids greeting each other excitedly and he just saunters around, looking bewildered! Not unhappy, just not quite with it. If I say to him "teacher just said hello" then he will say hi back but generally seems on a different planet! He warms up too once he gets there.

So will watch this with interest. One thing I have noticed is that he's worse if we get there a bit late and there's tons of people milling around; sensory overload? He is a bit of a daydreamer. He is better if we are one of the first to get there and it's calm, he seems to take it all in a bit better then.

Hi Lozario. Glad he's not the only one. It's just odd that it happens even though the setting is completely familiar with the same members of staff etc. Sometimes his friend tries to say hello, puts his face right up against his and still no reaction, just a dazed look on his face. I think you could have a point about sensory overload and perhaps he can't physically take it all in so he sort of shuts down.

My ds (4) isn't good at saying hello to his teachers either. As a toddler he would chat to anyone but in the last year he seems to have become quite shy and just looks at the ground when people he does'nt know well talk to him.
However when he's around people he knows well he does not shut up!
I don't push it, just gently remind him it's polite to answer when spoken to.

DS1 used to do something similar. Upon entering nursery and if anyone said hello, he'd either ignore, turn away or just stare at me. I think it was because he was quite shy and almost like "if I look away, it isn't happening". He was totally fine when we weren't there, it was just drop off. I think it was too much attention on him.

At 5 and a quarter, he is still reasonably shy, but he has got much better (guess also with starting school) at responding when people talk to him.

My 3 year old does this, even though on the whole he loves nursery. We call it his warming up time!