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Original poster

'lady-bits'

109 replies

jumble · 21/04/2006 20:40

My 2 year old dd is starting to recognise that boys have 'willies' and girls don't. What do I tell her girls have? 'Fanny' I don't like, and other than that. I haven't got any ideas. Anyone any suggestions?

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beckybrastraps · 23/04/2006 18:41

Can I just put in a request to make sure your dds are talking about their "girly bits"? I have taught a number of young ladies who are convinced that they wee of their vagina.

MrsBadger · 23/04/2006 18:46

personally I support the logical 'wee-hole, poo-hole, baby-hole' stance

harpsichordcarrier · 23/04/2006 18:55

I don't "insist" on vulva mymama, I just call it that becaue, you know, that's what it's called
I say bottom but I have said anus, yes
if dd says my bottom hurts, then I can say your vulva or your anus?
and she can tell me
at the moment she has chickenpox spots on both Sad and she wants to put her own cream on, which is fair enough

Candide · 24/04/2006 00:11

To be honest I hadn't even thought of telling my DS (2) any names for different bits of anatomy. All I would tell her if she asked was that boys have willies & girls don't.

This is probably because as a child I didn't ever distinguish myself and in fact cannot even being aware that there were vulvas, vaginas or anuses until I was about 12. Until that age I didn't have any occasion to talk about it in such detail. Obviously I knew that wee & poo came out of different holes but didn't know that a vagina existed.

I think I just called it all bottom (no front or back) and called boys bits willies.

Do children aged 2 really need to know about all this? Or am I just being old fashioned.

harpsichordcarrier · 24/04/2006 00:25

well I think the real issue is that, if you don't name these things, then you are sending a pretty powerful message that they aren't to be named. which is not a great message for her sexuality imho.
dd1 did ask me what her vulva was called, and also what a penis was called. so I told her. If she sees something in the bath or when she is playing with her friends, I would have thought it was pretty likely she would ask what it was called. that's how she finds out abut the world, through what you tell her.
I would have thought that, if she didn't ask, it is likely because she is getting the message that she shouldn't ask.
it is really important to me that my dd's grow up without hangups and with a healthy respect for their own bodies and an ownership of their bodies, and the first step on that path is to call things by their proper names.
sorry, rant over

madrose · 24/04/2006 00:36

I can remember being quite frustrated at the age of 5 because I didn;t know what my bits were called. I knew it couldn't be a front bottom, or a mary Shock - that was wrong, my mum was too embarrassed to call them anything or to take me seriously. My teachers were nuns, I now teach Biology - so early curosity?

harpsichordcarrier · 24/04/2006 08:39

I think I would be pretty unhappy if a daughter of mine didn't know that she didn't pee out of her vagina
why would anyone be happy that there daughter was woefully ignorant of their own body? I find it baffling.
though I have NO answer for what to call breasts Blush

harpsichordcarrier · 24/04/2006 08:39

their

CarolinaMooncup · 24/04/2006 08:42

what about "norks" HC? Wink

harpsichordcarrier · 24/04/2006 08:44

ooh yes. good idea
will teach dd1 to say "norks"

FinnyandZooey · 24/04/2006 08:47

What's wrong with breasts? My god if you can stomach 'vulva', 'breasts' is a breeze!

SwimmingWithHarpsichords · 24/04/2006 08:51

yes, breasts is fine
except dd1 says "bweasts" which makes me snigger
and bweasts are NO laughing matter

FinnyandZooey · 24/04/2006 08:53

Ds bangs on and on about breasts. I have told him he does not need to ask for milk "from my breasts", just saying "milk" is ok.

He now says "Can I have some milk?...... from your breasts"

Shock
mymama · 24/04/2006 09:50

What is baffling??? Vagina is a generalisation. The same as bum, tummy and arm. Do you ask your daughter if she has a sick "gut" or a sick tummy. If you are going to rant over the difference in vagina and vulva then I am guessing you ask her if she wishes to "urinate" out of her "vulva"!!!

quofan · 24/04/2006 09:53

I was brought up with mine being called a 'Muffin'

MrsBadger · 24/04/2006 09:55

Shock at some girls not knowing vaginas existed till they were 12.
How on earth did they think women had babies? And how terrified would they have been if they'd started their periods??

Don't think there's any excuse for this.

Harpsichordcarrier · 24/04/2006 09:58

well I don't think I am ranting... but yes I completely agree with what Mrs Badger says.
Vagina is NOT a generalised term, btw. some girls start their periods at nine.
why is it so odd to want to teach girls about their bodies

CarolinaMoonfish · 24/04/2006 10:20

no, it's urinate out of her urethra obviously

am glad I've only got a ds atm, soooo much simpler Smile.

DominiConnor · 24/04/2006 10:26

We've gone for non-slang terms, and 5yo DS has a schematic understanding of the standard biological processers. Our goal has not to make a big thing about it either way. Thus we do bits of the body without treating those that lie between the legs as anything special.

DS loves this stuff, and has any number of body cross section & picture books covering humans, trees and dinosaurs.

Though we've had to explain to DS that explaining over dinner to people how the lower intestine works is not always appropriate :)

As for not teaching daughters, I know of a number of girls who found out about periods when they suddenly had their first one. To put it mildly they were not impressed by their mothers hiding it from them.
And "hiding" does seem to fit the situation rather better than merely not mentioning it.
If you use cute words for bits of the body, I can't see that this matters, as long as the child doesn't use it to their friends in a way that will casuse intense embarassment.

anniebear · 24/04/2006 13:40

My Nan didn't know about periods untill she started with them and thought she was dying

But we are talking years and years ago

I think most girls are taught it in school aren't they? There can't be many that don't know about periods before they start them now days

anniebear · 24/04/2006 13:47

too be honest, I have never heard any Mothers or children use the 'proper' names

I'm not saying I think there is anything wrong in doing so. We can teach our children how we wish to

This is the first time, readng on here, I have ever heard anyone say their children say 'Vulva' etc

I wouldn't want my girls to call it that just for the fact they would be the only ones to do so. It does sound a very grown up word for a young child to use

I could imagine ALL the mums heads turing in the playground if my Child said something about her Vulva!!

we are very open in our house and I don't think My children will be ignorant of their bodies because we say Bottom instead of Anus etc etc

But...each to their own!!

beckybrastraps · 24/04/2006 13:55

mymama - vagina is actually a quite specific term, NOT a generalisation at all. And it has nothing to do with weeing. I suspect this is what many little girls are asking when they ask about their "lady-bits". Boys wee out of their penis/willy/whatever pet family name you use, where does their wee come out? The multifunctionality of the penis comes later, by which time they are convinced they wee out of their vagina. For little ones, I actually rather like the "poo-hole, wee-hole, baby hole" suggested by MrsBadger.

Harpsichordcarrier · 24/04/2006 14:12

don't worry, dd1 has never "said something about her vulva in the playground", strangely enough Smile
though of course she talks of nothing else at home Wink
(that's a joke by the way)

Feistybird · 24/04/2006 14:20

I love these threads

MrsBadger · 24/04/2006 14:22

me too - I was brought up with the wee-hole etc noemclature and it cracks me up to hear people referring to things as 'muffins' etc