18mo won't sleep in her cot......exhausted mum! X

[jones14]

If anyone has any advise I would really appreciate it. My 18mo won't sleep in her cot. She has a bath, play then bottle. She plays with my hair ( night light on) and I have to wait untill she is asleep enough for me to lay her in her cot, she may sleep for 10 mins or an hour). She wakes and screams! She can only cry for a short while before she is sick so she is never left to cry. Tried control crying but again she's sick. Have a 4 yr old at school so often worried she will wake him. As soon as I lay down with her on spare bed she is asleep straight away! If I try and move her she wakes. I can't remember the last time I slept in my own bed. My husband works away a lot so I'm often the only one at night. She doesn't have a dummy and isn't really attached to a teddy yet. Any ideas would be great xxxx

Hi, my DS (21 months now) has generally slept in his cot but we regularly have to retrain him to do so, usually after a holiday or illness. We've used controlled crying with some success but DH has never been comfortable with it. A few weeks ago he was completely sleeping with us and if I moved from his side he would wake up, which was ridiculous! We has also had a complaint from a neighbour about the crying, so controlled crying was out the window!
I read about the gradual withdrawal method, which you can google. This is where you make a plan, involving small steps to your goal. So for you this might be the for the first week you sit next to her cot holding her hand, or whatever is the easiest first step you can think of. Then you would try something a bit more adventurous.
DS now goes to sleep in his cot with me sat next to him, normally within about 45 mins (I do sometimes have to leave the room and leave him to cry for a few mins, then come back, to get accross the message that I really am serious about him going to bed!). He sometimes sleeps through the night and sometimes wakes up once. If he wakes up I've found that if I physically lie him down and hold him down even if he struggles a bit (doesn't sound nice I know) he just goes back to sleep, and after 5 mins I can sneak back to bed.
A vast improvement on a few weeks ago!
I hope this helps with ideas, I certainly found the gradual withdrawal easier and more pleasant that CC, and given your DD gets sick from crying it might work better for you and not wake your DS up.

Many thanks for taking the time to write x she is full of cold at the moment but when she is well I will try the gradual withdrawal method. Seems a logical step forward. Sleep here I come (hopefully!) x

I checked this thread because exactly the same happened to my wonderful 21mo sleeper a few weeks ago! Almost like he had a nightmare and bed was no longer safe. So I shall say what we did. We made a normal size single bed safe with a rail and put him in it. I slept by his side for a couple of nights. Then sat on the bed opposite and snuck out when he was alseep. Same with naps too. Then today's nap I walked out after he settled but wasn't asleep and did the same this evening. I think we're winning. Hope you sort yours out soon .

Does she have a comfort object, like a blanky?
18 months may be a bit late to try and introduce one but perhaps it's worth a shot?

Good luck Jones!

Thanks everyone, all your comments have been really helpful x

DS has never slept in a cot so we co-slept until very recently when he developed a habit of roaming around and falling out of bed. He's 18mo and I figure he'll go in a big boy bed in a few months time, so for now we've just chucked a mattress on the floor for him, and he seems happy on that in his own little squat.

Can you just do that until she's ready for a big bed? Seems a bit silly to have a big fight over it if it's all going to change soon anyway!