Anyone else have a painfully shy toddler?

[sarahloula]

My dd is 20 months, not been to nursey, looked after by my mum whilst I am at work. She is painfully shy and will get quite hysterical in certain social situations and can take hours to calm down. Even when we see family she does not know that well she gets upset. Why isn't me being there enough? Will it get better?

Hi, my DD was - well, still IS - like this and she is 3 years old now. I work F/T too, but i don't think that is the reason as she is looked after by DH or Dsis whenIi'm not there and has great relationships with both. We are all quite quiet and private people, but her brother is an extrovert, so think it is just her personality. She has slowly improved but still won't talk to people until she is ready - and that includes close family. I think not pushing them and giving them as much time as they need to develop confidence is the key. Forcing the issue will make it worse. Apparently i was the same when I was little but improved when I got to school and i'm hoping DD will be the same.

It does improve IME. DS1 is nearly 3 and will only really talk to DH, me, my mum nd MIL. He will now talk to other people 'through' me eg asking me questions he wants to ask them and occasionally speaking directly in answer to questions.

He was 18 months before we were able to leave him with anyone for the first time (that was with my mum & MIL), and even now he wouldn't be prepared to be left with anyone else.

We've tried not to push things which I think has helped - my dad has tried to persuade DS to be more social with him and the result is that DS gets on with him much less well than with any other family member.

My dd is a bit like this but, rather embarrassingly it is only with certain people. Some people she really likes and some people she can't stand and will literally run away from them if they come near her!

Interestingly it tends to be people who are desperately nice to her who she doesn't like
And she likes people who are a bit more stand-offish.

For what it's worth, 21mo DD is the polar opposite - massive extrovert - and has never been to nursery either, so please don't think that's the reason for her shyness.

Yep my 2 1/2 old is very shy and will not talk to anyone she does not know VERY well (I.e close family members). We went to a birthday party today and while all the other children ran around having Fu she sat next to me watching. Then when I walked off to get something she ended up in hysterical tears.

I find it really upsetting for her and just hope she grows out of it. Worries me for the future too as her shyness makes her a 'push over'.

I have a 21 month old who screams bloody murder if anyone other than immediate family she knows well (and one!! friend of mine) talks or even looks at her. She is getting better - although that is relative, of course!

I also have a 5 year old who was born social, she can and does talk with anyone and everyone she sees - so at least I know its nothing I've done!