How do I stop 5yo dd1 LICKING everything?

[BrittaPerry]

Dd1 is like a little puppy or something. She sucks the buggy handles, licks rails on the metro, chews her toys... She's going to catch something at this rate. We only stopped her having a dummy, with much heartache from her, last Christmas.

Any ideas?

Sounds like a sensory problem. Have you been to see your GP?

Do you think it is a big enough thing for the GP? She has a few other minor 'quirks', most of which don't matter as much now she is home educated.

What other minor quirks does she have?

Actually, I'm knackered so am going now. It may be a good idea to write down all of her quirks, including her need to lick inanimate objects, and have a chat with your GP. She could probably do with a referral. It sounds like a sensory processing problem, and you may be able to get her some help for this.

You could try posting in SN and asking about it first though. Just start a thread, saying she likes to lick things and you're not sure why this is. List her quirks, I'm sure someone will have some knowledge.

She's ace :-). We call her the tiny goth...

She has a great line in glares and rolled eyes, and she will stand and just...stare...at me if she is waiting for me to do something. She doesn't seem to think she is a child - eg if she is part of a group, and someone shouts 'right kids, time to come in now' she will quite often assume that doesn't include her...

Today was brilliant, we went for an eye test. She marched into the opticians, right up to the counter and said 'I have come for my eye test' (little eyes poking over the desk) then she answered all the questions they were asking me before I could open my mouth, sat down at the desk on the chair that they had pointed at for me to sit on, etc :-). If someone talks to her in the street in a way that isn't a direct question, she either stares at them or gives them an entire paragraph of whatever her current bit of information is, but in the opticians she didn't really even need me there :-)

Our main thing we do with her, if she is having a bit of trouble with something, is to give her a book about it, which means she will march off to the bookshelf to look up what to do if somebody doesn't share or whatever.

If she gets overwhelmed socially, she just 'switches off' and goes and calmly sits as far from other people as she can and ignores them for a bit.

She is very clever but was refusing to show it at school. The teacher told me she was doing really well with her basic phonics and had been seen holding a book the right way etc. The teacher thought I was being pushy when I said she could read, until the teacher noticed that DD was silently reading the book whilst holding it the right way...

She is still wetting herself about once or twice a week in the day, and maybe three times a week at night.

Even DH has to admit she is seeming to be a bit aspergersy, or something, but at the moment she seems happy in her own odd world. She plays in the street (she can come home for quiet breaks away from the others if she wants) and goes to dancing and rainbows as well as HE meetups, she is doing really well at her academic work and is obsessed with moshi monsters :-)

Hi OP. Your thread caught my eye as our son is exactly the same, but he also bites on things. He does have a diagnosis of autism/aspergers but his sensory processing difficulties are a huge problem for us and impact on many things for him. We did go down the gp route, being assessed by a paediatrician to get a diagnosis, but we have also had a referral to an nhs occupational therapist and they have given us and school lots of sensory processing activities to help overcome it, with some success. I'm not suggesting your dd has asd, sensory processing difficulties can exist on their own, but are also part of asd. Go and speak to your gp and ask about an OT referral or ask your HV.

I'm not sure exactly how much she would get up to without me, people have remarked that I now automatically explain things fully without thinking about it and always give exact instructions -eg 'go and look in your drawers and find some socks, knickers, trousers, a top and a cardi. Look at the labels to make sure they all say they will fit you even if they used to fit you THEN take your pyjamas off and put the day clothes on and then you can play upstairs or come downstairs. If you need help come and find me.'

Well if she can remember that instruction at age 5 thats pretty amazing. My 8 yr old (no probs v bright) would struggle to remember that. If you have to be very specific when speaking to her i would advise you to go to GP and express your concerns. Issues with receptive an expressive language can be an indicator of aspergers, it can be more tricky to identify in girls. Do see your GP and see if its worth having a referral to a paediatrician. Maybe make a list of quirks and take that with you.

Receptive AND expressive language problems that should read

She's very good with language, she talks like a little old lady :-)

She would usually daydream a few times whilst carrying that out, but if I don't give her the full instruction then she does something odd like doesn't take her pyjamas off, or takes them off before looking for clothes.

I was going to suggest possible sensory processing disorder which I think my nearly 3 y.o. has. He chews things but bites his hands too when stressed. Autism has been suggested, though I think that's less likely in his case. I'm taking him to the GP this week.

Chewy tubes were recommended to me as an alternative thing to chew on.

It is also possible to have problems with language while being very good with language. DS is very verbal, never stops talking, and has general language development ahead of his age. (He can also read.) However, he has verbal dyspraxia as well.

Hi britta I think you have been given some good advice.

I have a Dd who is 10 and has ASD, we say she has Aspergers because she fits that profile fairly well.

She was like your Dd when she was little, she would talk to adults as if they were equals and was very precise in her language. She still doesnt realise she is a child.

As Dd3 has become older we have realised that she has quite and few issues with complex language and she is very literal.

She has lots of sensory issues and often put things in her mouth when she was younger. She also used to lick trolley handles and things like that

If you are HE'ing your Dd it might not benenfit you to seek a diagnosis for her but if you ever decide to put her back into school I would recommend that you at least think about it, if she continues to be quirky.

School is very hard for "quirky girls" especially secondary.

Good luck BTW, she sounds really lovely

I do strongly advise you to speak to your GP and talk to them about getting her assessed. Even if you continue to HE there are still services you can access, and for some services for children and adults you do need a diagnosis of asd (if that were to become the case for her). Some children can have good speech themselves but as others have said they can take thing literally and have issues with understanding language, understanding the subtle social cues etc. Just because your dd speaks well she may still have some difficulties that would benefit from being investigated. Sensory processing can be problematic and you should seek help.

Is it all that serious though?

Do I take her with me to the appointment?

Yes take her with you. If she does have sensory processing problems or verbal dyspraxia or aspergers then yes it is something that she and you will need support with, if you and your dh have mentioned aspergers go to the GP. ASD is a very complex disability that requires approprite support. Good luck

"She's very good with language, she talks like a little old lady :-)"

This sounds like DS2 - his spoken language always sounded so much older than his age - at 4 I reminded him someone else was picking him up from school one day, and he replied "I am aware of that, you explained it this morning" LOL

Your DD sounds just like him in fact and he has a diagnosis of Asperger's. Even now at 14 we have to be pretty specific with instructions, ie yesterday he asked where he should put a bag of groceries that were in the hallway - I said "Oh just chuck it in the kitchen and I'll put it away in a bit" so he did - he stood in the kitchen doorway and literally chucked it into the kitchen!

Reminds me of me when I was a Teenager :-). My mum asked me to 'turn the peas on', so I went in the kitchen and turned the heat on under the pan that had peas in. They burned, because there was no water in. I knew that water would normally be used, but she had just said to turn it on, not add water. I maintain it was a stupid instruction! . It just got added on to the list of 'reasons why Britta is weird'. Sigh.

Anyhow though, yes there are other issues, but I didnt think that licking random things was all that unusual for a child - is it?

My DD went through a phase of licking things - trolleys/cars/people at about 4 but seems to have come through it (now just 6).
She has always had pretty advanced language but we have never considered any Aspergers/Autism testing (although it does run in the family)