Upset by health visitor

[catfan]

I took my 16 month old son to be weighed by the health visitor. Wasn't feeling concerned about his development until health visitor said his speech was delayed. He does only have about 5 words but babbles constantly. She said I should read to him more. I read the whole time - she said obviously not in the right way (???) He is very active - running around, climbing etc. He points the whole time and communicates very effectively by that means. Could it be that is taking the place of words? Am I a bad mother for not worrying until now?

16 months, talking 5 words sounds perfectly normal to me!
She sounds positively bonkers

i agree perfectly normal. the difference between dd's 16 month and 19 month vocabulary is huge.. dont worry one little bit, he will increase his vocabulary so quickly from now on now he's mastered a few words.

Don't worry about the reading. Reading is lovely and great for development, but so is chatting, singing, rhymes, basically anything which involves sharing speech with your child.
You HV sounds like she was being overly keen.

I wouldn't bother taking a 16 month old to see a HV at all unless you have concerns about how they are growing or something. Half a dozen words at 16 months is entirely normal.

With DD1 I took her quite frequently to be weighed at first, then about once a month until she was 11 months and I went back to work. When my GP looked at the red book she said I was very diligent taking her that often and there was really no need as she was clearly a healthy weight.

So with DD2 I took her frequently until she was a few months old then stopped. Also I didn't want telling off for weaning at 4 months either so I never mentioned that. I felt very confident and didn't need any help, actually I felt like that about most things first time round but felt I ought to go more in case they checked up on me if I didn't, being a first time mum.

Hi OP,
First off you are not a bad Mum!
I would not be overly worried at this point as like others said children develop at diffent rates.

What you health visitor could have done was give you more ideas as to developing opportunities to talk.

For example by putting a fave toy out of reach of your DS so you then encourage him to say what he wants.
Also at this age really modelling language is key. For example he points to dog, you tell him that yes it's a dog.

Nursery rhymes are great for your child to hear the language. Also stopping part way through the rhyme at a word that they know is a great way to encourage them to have a go at joining in.

For example twinkle twinkle little leave them time to say star before you filling in the gap after giving them time.

Action rhymes are great too as even without words they can join in with the song.

Children develop speech in different ways. I remember being a little concerned that my DD had only 4 words at 20 months. By the time she was 2 she was talking in long complex sentences. If what the HV said was based purely on 5 words not being enough for his age then I doubt there's much to worry about. If it was based on what sounds he isn't making, his understanding, or a lack of attempted communication then there may be something that needs looking at. As has been mentioned upthread I do know of a couple of children who there were early concerns about because of a lack of babbling so I don't think you can write off early concerns altogether.

What is wrong though IMO is to place the blame on you if there is a problem. You'd have to be quite seriously neglecting the child for it to stop him developing normally. Just not reading the "right way" (wtf?!) certainly wouldn't do it.

I have absolutely no evidence to support this, but I do occasionally wonder whether there are some 'target areas' that HVs are told to 'discuss' with the parents regardless of whether or not there is a problem, in areas where it is perceived that there may be a lack of awareness. I've noticed a tendency to focus on particular areas regardless of whether or not they apply: I got a lot of advice around speech delay, despite the fact that DD was talking constantly clearly confident in her language usage during her 2 year health check.

As far as your wee one is concerned, I would imagine that the only thing at 16 months that would raise alarm bells is a lack of babbling rather than a lack of words. SALTs have drop-in sessions if you're really concerned, but I wouldn't worry at all, just keep talking to him!

A lot of sense you've written there zzzzz.

I see a pediatrician and she says they don't formally assess language skills before 24 months. She was interested to know when he started babbling, at 12m wanted to know if he had started vocalising words (i.e. saying mama at me, or in fact for us it was dada at DH ). THe main thing at 18 months was to see if he was progressing in communication skills, so yes she did ask for a number of words but was much more interested in knowing if he was moving forwards. I really believe there is no need for concern OP.

'I see a pediatrician and she says they don't formally assess language skills before 24 months'

I'm a speech and language therapist and we do I don't think the HV handled it very sensitively but if she had a concern, she was right to raise it. Hopefully OP has a Children's Centre nearby which she can visit - there will be groups and possibly drop-in sessions which would be really helpful to her.

16 months sounds young but recent research shows that we really need to be identifying children with delayed communication development by age 2 for them to have the best outcomes.

I work in a children's centre and honestly can't think of a "right way" to read books or anything we would suggest to the mother of a 16 month old who has 5 words, babbles and communicates.

zzzzz, google 'Avon Longitudinal Communication Study'. It's a 20 year study looking at what makes a difference to communication skills in very young children (under2s). The four main points were - whether a baby owns a book at 6 months, frequency of trips to the library, amount of TV on in the home and quality of interactions between parents and carers.

We used to think it was the first 7 years of a child's life that were mega important, now it's the first 2!

Sam, I wouldn't describe it as the 'right' way, but letting the child turn the pages at their own pace and describing the pictures rather than reading the words would be useful with a young child.

The HV guidelines on speech are there to identify potential problems. If they don't meet the guidelines it's just a matter of checking on things. e.g. it could be a case of hearing problems or autistic spectrum disorder. For the former, you can check quite easily. If your child is communicating well using non-verbal cues, it sounds like the latter won't be a problem. So, relax, children pick up speech at different stages. My eldest two were both really late to talk but big on non-verbal. Now, I can't shut them up!

I'd be very impressed at a 16 month old describing pictures!

Sorry, I meant describing the pictures for the baby!

Talking about what you see in the pictures in 1-2 word phrases e.g. look, doggie. Doggie jumping. Teddy drinking etc etc. And not asking any questions like 'what's that? 'what's teddy doing?' 'etc. Really hard not to do actually!

16 month olds cant listen for more than a few seconds so they will get lots more out of it if they can go at their own pace rather than being expected to follow the parent's lead

I should have said I'm based in France Lottapianos. I have a friend who's been referred for speech delay and they don't even start taking them until 2.5yo. Obviously, different country, different practices.

Out of interest how do you formally assess language skills at 16/18 months when many babies only have a few poorly pronounced baby words? I can see communication in general can be assessed (as is in France). But these are things like responding to name, showing with a finger, following a few simple instructions, that sort of thing.

LeBFG, here too, you would be very lucky to see a SALT before 2.5-3.

Yes, different areas and boroughs (and countries!) will have different policies on this. Communication isn't just about talking, so with a 16 month old, they wouldn't be expected to be using loads of words, but we would also look at their listening and attention skills, play skills (can they pretend to drink out of a toy cup for example?), social awareness and interaction and understanding of language (e.g. if I show 4 pictures and say 'where's the cup?' can they identify the right one) as well as their expressive vocabulary.

zzzzz, there are a whole range of factors which can cause/influence language delay and parental interaction skills is one of them. It's certainly not always the case but it is a really important factor to consider.

I discovered this this week - which is the EYFS framework for which they assess any potential for delay - should put your mind at rest.
It covers all aspects of development, with a specific section for language and communication broken into age groups
here

zzzzz - are you saying that parental input has no impact on language development