Upset by health visitor

[catfan]

I took my 16 month old son to be weighed by the health visitor. Wasn't feeling concerned about his development until health visitor said his speech was delayed. He does only have about 5 words but babbles constantly. She said I should read to him more. I read the whole time - she said obviously not in the right way (???) He is very active - running around, climbing etc. He points the whole time and communicates very effectively by that means. Could it be that is taking the place of words? Am I a bad mother for not worrying until now?

[hobnobsaremyfavourite]

My health visitor wanted to refer DS3 for SALT at 17 months. I ignored her and stayed well clear of her thankfully as he didn't speak very well until he was nearly 3. He is now an articulate fully bilingual 8 year old. I am grateful that I trusted my instincts and let him develop at his own pace. DD was a different kettle of fish, didn't walk till she was 18 months old but fully capable of arguing with me in full sentences at just 2

[CecilyP]

^I don't see why there is a need for another assessment.
HV picks up a potential problem at developmental checks. Child goes in system, appointment comes through in a years time,.parent then decides if the need it and cancels if they don't. Appointment given to next child on list.^

I think the real problem is the shortage of SALTs and the delay between cause for concern and first SALT appointment. Referring more children on the off chance that they may need help would only exacerbate the the situation. There would be children who really don't need help, whose parents keep the initial appointment just because it was given, while others would either ignore the appointment card or cancel too late for the appointment to be offered to somebody else. This would have the effect of lengthening waiting times unless significant numbers of SALTs were recruited.

[mynameis]

As a mum of a child who had severe speech delay, I was told not too worry until he was 2 so 16 months seems very young to concerned.

My Dd2 is 16 months and has roughly the same amount of words, as I'm obv concerned about speech delay I have constantly checked the realms of 'normal speech' with my HV. She reckons dd speech is spot on for her age at present

Try not too worry to much at this stage op

[LeBFG]

Oh yes, refer early is definately the message. But OP's HV is worried about 5 words at 16 months .

[bruffin]

My ds wasn't under 2 , it was the next one at 2.5 but they may have cut some out since ds was little. But I was pointing out why they would refer early to get into the system rather than wait until it's too late because of waiting lists.

[LeBFG]

Bruffin, I can't see how HVs or anyone else could do a formal language assessment on a 16mo. Surely this is all based on parental observations? When I speak to other mothers, some are saying their kids are saying 20 words when all I hear are grunts, others are saying 2 words but the two they say are pronouced spot on. There is a lot of variation in what parents may 'hear' their DC say iyswim. Plus, of course, isn't unclear speech just what under-2s specialise in?

[bruffin]

I don't see why there is a need for another assessment.
HV picks up a potential problem at developmental checks. Child goes in system, appointment comes through in a years time,.parent then decides if the need it and cancels if they don't. Appointment given to next child on list.

[CecilyP]

I have some sympathy with that, but not sure how it could work in practice. If the list is 13 months, then children would have to be assessed at 11 months to get an appointment at 24 months. Clearly, that would be impossible.

[bruffin]

16 months is too young and nothing like 2 years because the difference between children's speech at 16 months and 24 months is colossal.

It might be but it is better to get ball rolling early if there are year long waiting list. DS was referred because of unclear speach. Hv felt that because waiting lists were so long he would get the treatment when he actually needed it rather than wait to see if it was a problem and then have to wait for another year before he got an appointment.

[CecilyP]

16 months sounds young but recent research shows that we really need to be identifying children with delayed communication development by age 2 for them to have the best outcomes.

16 months is too young and nothing like 2 years because the difference between children's speech at 16 months and 24 months is colossal.

[CecilyP]

I'm a bit bothered by all the posters saying ignore the HV. My Dd was vocal, and people were surprised when she was referred, but there was a problem. I hope there isn't a problem with the OP's DS, and the HV's comment does seem unhelpful if that was the extent of it, but early intervention is better, and, as I said, DD waited for 13 months for her SALT...

I think that most of us are saying ignore because our DCs were exactly the same at 16 months. If every parent whose DC only said 5 words at 16 months went on a SALT waiting list, the lists would be unmanagable, both with bookings - then cancellations when our DCs were saying loads of words by 21 months and speaking in sentences by the time they were 2.

[CecilyP]

OP, you don't sound like a bad mother for not worrying until now; neither should you be worrying at all. You sound like you have one ignorant, ignorant HV, though. Your little boy sounds totally normal and 5 recognisable words is par for the course at this age. And as for reading - well, I am speechless - how on earth does she think people all over the world manage to still learn to speak if their parents can't read?

[MamaBear17]

I read that by 15 months children should have 5 words and by 18 months they should have 20. My parents swear that I sang 'happy birthday' to myself on my first birthday (although, after having my own dd I cant help but think my parents must be exaggerating a little) but my brother did not say his first word until he was 3 (only my mum could understand what he wanted). However, we are both adults and speak equally as eloquently. My brother didnt have any speech and language help either. If I were you I would keep an eye on your son, focus on trying to encourage words by talking to him and see how he gets on. If you are still worried in a month or two then see your GP

[hazeyjane]

Fortunately we have none of these worries, as we haven't seen ds's SALT for the whole of last term and when we last did it was the usual 10 mins grabbed in the middle of a nursery session.

[MrsAceRimmer]

My DS had no (and I mean zero) words at 2 years. By 2.6, he was speaking in proper long sentences and now, at 4.8 has an advanced vocabulary (according to his preschool) and very clear speech.
19 month old DD has maybe 6 words max that are clear, she also babbles constantly (between the two of them it's constant chatter) and has sounds or her own words for things, great fun trying to guess what she means
What I'm trying to say OP, is maybe dont worry until DC is about 2 - talk, read, sing and make funny faces to your child, they will get there eventually. Maybe they want to wait until they can speak properly before they talk
Obviously if you're worried, get referred to SALT.

[Lottapianos]

TheFallenMadonna, please dont' worry. It's blindingly obvious to professionals when a parent is engaged and doing their very best as you clearly are, and when they are not. Language disorder is a huge and very complex area and there are so many factors to consider. Progress with language disorders is much slower than with children whose language skills are just delayed for their age.

I didn't want to upset anyone with my comment about the mum I saw recently so i'm really sorry if I have done. The vast majority of parents I work with are not engaged with professionals or with their child, have little empathy with their child, no understanding of a parent's role in play and language development, poor uptake of services and often very little enthusiasm for making changes to help their child. Its been useful for me to hear from parents who are working really hard to support their child but so far are not seeing the results they would have hoped for. I appreciate how frustrating and sad that must be.

[TheFallenMadonna]

My DD made very little progress with me in the 13 months she had to wait between being assessed for SALT and actually getting it. I was engaged, followed all the advice of the assessing SALT, but she didn't make progress. Had I thought the SALT she eventually saw thought I had been ditching her in front of the television for a year, I would have felt wretched.

[hazeyjane]

You see, Lotta,

'I got the impression that she would do just about anything if she felt it would help his development. He's making great progress, as you would expect'

that sentence, I have a little problem with, because you know, I feel the same way about my son, and I read to him, and sing to him and sign and do all the things I did with my early talking dds, but he is still severely delayed, and not making great progress.