Is your nearly 4yo basically a maniac as well? <exhausted>

[openerofjars]

I love DS, I do, so much, but my god he is just anarse at the moment!

Everything is done at a million decibels, he doesn't want to do anything we ask him to and will not follow instructions to do perfectly reasonable things, like finish his pudding, not run off up the road and put his pyjamas on ( just examples, not always necessarily in that order)

He is a emotionally volatile wee creature anyway, and gorgeously awesome, funny and entertaining when he is being well-behaved but when he is in a bad mood he is just so stroppy.

How's your preschooler doing? And how are you?

much the same. This week I have been yelled at, kicked, told I'm hated and he's 'NEVER BEING MY FRIEND EVER AGAIN FOR EVER'. I have also been kissed, cuddled, told I'm great and his friend, told I'm loved, we've laughed and laughed and laughed together, read stories, chatted, had an awesome tim

It's a rollercoaster. But I love him so much, he's just so awesome. He gets so excited and happy about things that he loves, it's infectious. And the good outweighs the bad by a mile.

He is totally crackers though. Going to work is a break.

Yep, I'm hoping by 5 (dec) he will have calmed down.

Rollercoaster is right, thanks.

Sorry for brevity, feeding DD...

Hey Opener not surprisingly, my DS2 is exactly the same...it must be their age

Ds2 is particularly volatile - me and DH swear that he must have split personality and often wonder which one we are going to get each morning!

He is generally well-behaved (thankfully) but boy, can he shout when he is angry about something and boy, can he tantrum when he is upset about something.

Do you remember when we met up when they were about 2 months old...how easy were they to handle then - shove them in a pram, feed them occasionally and that was about it

I'm so glad I saw this thread! My almost 4 year old (on halloween, should of been named Damien!!!) is a nightmare. He slapped me in the face, hard, on Friday after kicking off about not wanting his belt on in the car. He can be a violent, horrible little boy on one hand, yet the most loving, sweet little fella on the other.

Agree, the good outweighs the bad, almost

my ds2 is 6 in dec hes been a right little shit angel ,woke me up at 3am smacking me biting me pulling my hair ... hes does has sn and is non verbal but he dont get away with it .

4yo is a placid angel. Interrupts too much, that's the worst I can say for him.

8yo is a manic shouty tempermental hurricane.

My mum said we were like that (brother and I very close in age); we just had too much energy and not enough to stimulate us.

For what it's worth, we're two calm, rationale, suitably employed thirty-somethings but I'm guessing you won't be seeing that far ahead!

Hi, it's the increase of male hormones:) I read 'raising boys' can't remember the author and it was incredibly helpful. It's certainly a trial:)
He is also testing you to some extent, pick a couple of boundaries and stick to them. I let some slide, but some were nonnegotiable such as kindness to other dc and the importance of realising when you have had enough and going in your room - not as a punishment. You coud try giving him extra responsibilities to match his behaviour, such as getting ready for bed alone then you come in for stories etc, or clearing plates after pudding. My ds wanted to be recognised as getting independent.

Ceebs! How do? Yeah, I remember. Shove a boob in one end, wipe the other, repeat every two hours...

I ended up in tears in the library today as I just couldn't catch him and felt very mortified that every other parent in the room just knew what a shit mum I am. All the other children were playing/reading/drawing nicely and mine was the one running round and refusing to do what I asked (cone back & put shoes on).

We doubt like each other very much at the moment.

opener yes I feel your pain. DS1 is 3.5 and I love him, but I just don't like him much at the moment! He is going through a very negative phase, very unpredictable and it's come as a shock as we never really had terrible twos with him. At a playdate this morning with 2 girls his age, he was really rough and I heard them saying they didn't want to play with him again I didn't blame them tbh!!

Also have DD, 19 months, who is a little ray of sunshine unfortunately for DS

I have a horrid 4 year old the moment. His favourite phrase is 'You are ruining my life".

I just keep remembering 'This too will pass'.

Nosey mine likes "I don't want to do nuffing!"

My 6yr old ds has a phrase he likes to repeat when I've said no to some godawful request or asked him to do something inane like get dressed for school - "I just want to do what I want to do" along with the usual it's not fair and you are mean.

He was an angel till 3 and a half, then the devil for about 8 months. By the time he started reception aged 4 and a half he was a lot better. He's 7 in Feb and since he went into year 2 in September he's really settled down and matured a lot.

He's full of energy, very very cheeky and quick witted (unfortunately he is so funny I often snort with laughter when I really should be telling him off) I love him so much and actually admire his boundless energy and general good humour. The flashes of bad temper only last minutes and are easily forgotten but can be exhausting while they last. But yes I agree the good far outweighs the bad!

My ds is 4 today and has gone through a period of being a little whirlwind - basically a lot of similar behaviour to above. Apparently they have a huge surge if testosterone around the age of 4 which is the cause. That's what Iv been putting it down to anyway. Hopefully, 'this too will pass'! I'm waiting for him to wake up so we can open presents

WeLl you know mine and of course she is just the same . Plus I think they are worse when you have a baby as well - understandably wanting attention and behaving more dramatically to get it.

I end up on the verge of tears every time I take both of them out on my own wondering whether there's some kind of fundamental problem with either her or my parenting. It is exhausting and a totally different dynamic with 2, particularly as DS has apparently 'broken my heart and is not my best friend ANY more'

The thing is though there are so many threads like this around that I think it must just be part of the growing up process. They need to practice expressing opinions and preferences in order to learn socially acceptally ways of behaving. And DD needs the practice as her tendency to approach random people, latch on to them and announce them Loudly as her friend is excrutiatingly embarassing! And OMG the bossiness!

the testosterone surge thing is good to know, and makes a lot of sense. DS has had me in tears sometimes, just being so naughty. On the last day of school he decided he didn't want to go in and actually picked up a stone to throw at me. I couldn't believe it. His teacher and TA saw me carrying him in and were all 'aw, poor unexpectedchild, are you ok' and I actually said 'yes, he's fine, he's just being REALLY NAUGHTY'. Which sounds a bit mean really. Of course he behaves beautifully once he's at school.

All the 4's are supposed to be important in boys/men. Huge surges of testosterone around 4 and 14. Huge drop around 40 hence the midlife crisis apparently!

Well, today was better. I managed not to descend to the level of a 3yo and we had no screaming. I took painkillers when I needed them (ongoing pain thing which I now realise might possibly not have been helping but you just get used to things) and went to bed early last night so I could deal with any explosions better.

We carved a pumpkin, did some baking and got out of the house.

Win.

I think the testosterone surge might be a good theory too but usually with DS he is a torment when something is bothering him say, a psycho mother. Right. Early nights all round, lots of lovely paracetamol and feet up for me, cake.