im back lol sleep problems this time! yes i have a difficult toddler loool

[KayteeB12]

im back again lol your all gonna think i have a monster for a toddler (which i do) haha.
ok so its kind of long but i want you to get a really good picture of his issues. He slept in his moses basket from the day he came home and we had no problems at all. Then he developed colic and would scream uncontrollably all night, so stupidly i allowed him into my bed. fast forward 11 months and im now stuck with a 14 month old toddler in my bed which drives me crazy. Not only this but he cant fall asleep on his own, he has to have a bottle in his buggy and then be rocked to sleep through his moaning and screaming. He then has to stay in his buggy untill i go to bed and then he comes in with me. How do i wean from cosleeping? i mean i know i should do CC but the thing is he can climb out of his cot and has hurt himself once or twice from doing this and im really worried about him doing it again. Should i put something on the floor by the side of his cot and then do CC?
Also, he's still having 3/4 bottles a night!! its because he doesnt know how to self-settle and decided he didnt want a dummy anymore at 10 months so relies on the milk to get him to sleep. people think im lying when i tell them but he genuinly is. I try to switch to water or juice but he knows and screams uncontrollably untill he gets his own way. I put him down in his buggy at 7.30pm.
any help would be so much appriciated xx

Have a look at this site www.babysleepsite.comthere are lots of articles and you can sign up to emails and stuff with info about sleep, I think you can also contact them with questions but am not sure if it's free. Good luck!

He isn't a monster Katie, he sounds like a perfectly normal toddler and you are stupid by putting him in your bed, it was probably the best thing to do at the time.

I can't do links at the moment but google askersears 31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep. Have a look too at askersears 12 alternatives for the all night nurser. You really dont have to do cc, ive managed to get both of mne from from co sleeping to sleeping through in their without cc, so it is possible That last link is aimed at Bfers but there are still some tips on getting them to sleep without offering milk.

Bottles aren't advised from 12 months anyway and he should be on 300ml of full fat cows milk per day so you are right to look at cutting this down.

Where is his cot? Can he have his own room? Could you take the side off his cot and put a stair gate across his door?

You must be shattered, I'm not good with either of my two in the bed as they just keep me awake all night! I second the side off cot (pillows on floor or bed guard if you are worried about him falling out) and gate on door. I think you'll have to be firm and just keep calmly putting him back in his bed without milk - he shouldn't need all that milk at his age. It could take a while, but consistency is the key. He probably knows at the moment that you'll cave in and let him into your bed to get some sleep, you just have to show (and tell) him calmly that this is not the case. He'll soon realise that you mean business. I wouldn't ever come out of his room when you are trying to soothe him either. Not sure about the cc, I honestly don't think letting him cry for a little while will do him any harm, but that's just me. Some of the sites mentioned above may help with some ideas that will avoid cc. Good luck!

thank you so much everyone :D
im gonna get right onto Google tonight and make myself a little plan using your tips I hate him having so many bottles as its just unnecessary and costs me a fortune!! LOL
xxx

His cot is just across the room from my bed and i havent got another room to go in so he's stuck in with me lool. i think i will take the side of his cot off and put some pillows on the floor and just shut my door as it has a high handle xx

31 ways to get your baby to sleep and stay asleep and 12 alternatives for the all night nurser, although like I said, the last one is mainly aimed at bfers, there are still a few tips in there worth reading.

If his cot is in your room, how about tackling the two issues one by one? How would you feel about getting him off the night bottles and once you've done that, having a weeks breather and then tackling the co-sleeping? You can of course tackle them both together if you'd rather get it all over and done with .

Tell us too what your daytime routine is and what your bedtime routine is and we'll see if we can help you tweek it so that he sleeps better .

Have a look in your library to see if they have got this book. Its great, here's the blurb:

Sound Sleep is a well-researched guide is for parents with babies, toddlers or older children which deals with helping your baby or child to sleep.

The guide features a number of useful insights, inspiring stories, handy checklists and a variety of easy to use methods for you to draw on.

Talk to your HV or Children's Centre too, when we had problems with DS' sleep our HV referred us to a free sleep clinic which really helped.

your so amazing girls thankyou so much!! i wish i would have come on here sooner! I think its better to, as you said, tackle one at a time or i think ill have a mental breakdown lool
Our routine is:

College days:

Wake Up
Crazy rush to get ready, fed and out
Train to college
Nursery
Train home and snack
Plays with toys on floor (more like does everything to drive me mad e.g. climb on sofa!)
Dinner
Bath
In his buggy with a bottle
Rocking for AN HOUR to get him to sleep
move him upstairs to my bed when i go to sleep

Other days

Wake up
Breakfast and TV
Play on floor
Dressed
Out in buggy to town with mum
Nap
Lunch
Playtime
Dinner
Bath
Buggy + Bottle
Rocking
Upstairs

Thankyou SOOOO much xxx

What time does he have his lunch and nap at nursery and what time do you do it? There also doesn't seem to be much time for him to burn off any energy. Boys are like dogs, they need lots of love and affection, lots of guidance and tonnes of exercise. Do you think you could face any play groups? Perhaps your HV might know of an under 20 group but if you don't fancy any groups, how about swimming or the park?

When you tackle the nights it might be an idea to do it on your noncollege days or even half term, just so that you can nap when he does.

As for his bedtime routine, what time does he have tea and then his bath. How about bath, cot, books and bottle?

When you say that the bottles are costing a fortune, is it formula, followon or cows milk you are giving?

I also think he needs a midmorning and mid afternoon snack and drink of water. You want him getting his calories in the day, not from the milk at night and little children need to eat more than just 3 meals a day.

im not actually sure hun, but ill ask them so that i can give him his naps and lunch at the same time and that might get him into a more stable routine do you think? + yes hun :D Ive found a messy tots group on one of my days off and im going to start taking him swimming on my other day off
He has his tea at about 5.30/6pm and his bath is around 6.30pm. That sounds like a good idea as then he'll start getting used to his cot rather than just being put in there and expected to go to sleep.
Im using cows milk at the moment, do you think it'll be better to use formula?
thankyou very much! he does have rice-cakes and juice when he's playing but as you said, maybe he needs to sit down and something a bit heavier like toast and yoghurt, do you think?xxx

Messy group and swimming sound great and hopefully it will wear him out a bit more for you, and yes I'd ask nursery what times they do snacks, lunch and nap and then try to do the same sort of times at home.

Full fat cows milk is fine, the NHS don't recommend formula after 12 months anyway.

As for the snacks he doesn't really need toast and yogurt you are right. Some fruit, or carrot sticks and cream cheese or some little bits of cheese and an apple or raisins are fine of course there are lots of other things you can offer too

When its bedtime we've always done bath, books, bed. We don't take them downstairs again after the bath and it seems to work for us .

thankyou hun :D
oh thats great
do you have any tips on how to get toddlers to eat fruit as Kai point blank refuses lol. Ive tried everything from banana's to pineapple to kiwi lol and he just wont touch them. I was thinking of trying them with yoghurt to dip them in, do you think thats a good idea?
ill definitly have to try that :D

Do you eat fruit?

i do i love it
i eat all sorts and offer it to him when im having it but he point blank refuses xx

Was asking because there is a mum at school who is always complainingbthat her kids dont eat fruit but neither do the adukts in the house either. she also complains that the dc eat toomany crisps, sweets, biscuits and chocolate and overweight but then buys them loads every week. takes allsorts i suppose

What does he have for breakfast? If its something like ready brek or weetabix could you put some fruit in that?

I'd just offer the fruit as a snack if you want him to have it and don't offer an alternative if he refuses.

My DS2 aged 6 will only eat banana, but does really well with cooked veg. My DS1 is nine and eats all fruits bar grapefruit, melon and bananas. If he eats veg, I wouldn't worry. It's better for his teeth too. My DS2 won't eat sweets, jam, jelly because he doesn't like fruit flavours. He does eat really stinky cheese though

ahh yes i see what you mean, kids follow their parents examples, couldnt agree more!
He normally has weetabix however he's now decided he'll have one mouthfull and then he wants to do it himself which means he wont take anything from me. However, he cant really do it yet and doesnt actually get any food :/ i really want him to eat it as its good for him and as you said i can encorporate fruit into the cereal.
ahahaha bless him, maybe Kai will end up like that!xx