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Behaviour/development

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Original poster

Getting rid of the dummy - nearly 1 year old.

18 replies

WishYouWereMine · 18/10/2012 22:54

DD is 11 months, and I want to get rid of the dummy if possible.
She has it for sleep - it's the only way I know to get her to sleep, pop the dummy in, cuddle and rock her until she drops off. (I know, I know!)

We don't let her have it at all during the day, unless she's REALLY hurt herself, or for her naps.

I can't just put her in the cot and let her cry it out because she won't. She'll just play and bounce up and down and smile at me. It's sweet but it's starting to drive me mad. I don't think she really wants to be rocked to sleep anymore either judging by this evening, when she was just pushing against me and trying to wriggle away.

I feel a bit hopeless - most advice seems to suggest putting her in the cot and letting her cry, but I really don't think it will work with DD.

Thanks in advance,

Wish

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LadyKA · 18/10/2012 23:39

There is no way that you will be able to stop the use of dummies at this age without the child crying. If she is only using it to aid sleep, I think you should leave it till she is a bit older. Maybe when she is 2 or 3.

SamSmalaidh · 18/10/2012 23:44

I got rid of the dummy at about 12 months - just chucked them one day and that was it. I had to sling DS for naps the first couple of days and pat him to sleep in his cot but after that it was forgotten about.

ATourchOfInsanity · 18/10/2012 23:50

Oh I am doing this now with DD at 14 mo. Always said I would do it at 1. Do it as soon as poss! They only get more vocal and attached!
Now I only let her have it at nap times and bed. She cries for a bit when I pull it out after breakfast (she plugs it back in right away after eating!) and keeps remembering for up to a few hours, sporadically. I distract her as much as poss - go outside, read a book, hold her upside down, tickle etc etc.

Good luck, I do think it is worth it. DD makes much more noise (speaking wise) oh and crying wise and I can definitely see how it could hinder language.

LadyKA · 18/10/2012 23:58

If OP does not what her DD to cry it out at this age then its worth leaving it till the child is older. My DD stopped her dummy at 21months. it did not affect her speech or her teeth.

Original poster

WishYouWereMine · 19/10/2012 07:46

I'm not sure if crying it out would work. If I put her in the cot she just stands up and starts bouncing and grinning or playing with her snuggly. She doesn't cry. I think I'd have to leave her in there on her own for ages before she'd start crying.
She doesn't have it constantly, only for sleep. It's just that that's the only way she'll sleep apart from falling asleep in the car .

OP posts:

Metalhead · 19/10/2012 08:26

My DD still has hers for sleeping at 2.4... She's never had it during the day so I'm not too worried about it. It's also much less of a big deal in my native country. I think some people over here get a bit obsessed with having to get rid of the dummy by a certain age. (Obviously they shouldn't still have it when they start school :) )

HystericalParoxysm · 19/10/2012 09:18

I waited until DC were 2, 2 1/2ish so they were able to understand the dummy fairy, who takes the dummies but leaves a gift. Never had any problems. I think 1 is a tricky age to remove it.

Original poster

WishYouWereMine · 19/10/2012 09:43

Ok then. If you all say it's OK

OP posts:

PoisonMountain · 19/10/2012 13:19

Got rid of DS's at this age. No tears, just had to sing his lullabies through twice instead of once. Either do it now or when they're 2.5-3 is the advice I was given.

StepfordWannabe · 19/10/2012 13:29

I don't see the need for any hurry tbh. Why draw hassle upon yourself? I have a pillow that I cuddle up to at night for comfort. If she only has it for sleep then how could it affect her speech? I HATE children going around with it all day and slurring out words around it though. We got rid of it when DD was just around 2.5 (she was just using it for sleep since she was born) and wanted a big girl's bed i.e. out of cot. For around 6 weeks beforehand, we talked about her being a big girl when she moves into her bed and there being no more dodies, but that she would have a new Minnie Mouse teddy instead! Boom, they were gone, no probs, she's never really looked for them again since as she was just so chuffed with herself for being so grown up.

mycatlikestwiglets · 19/10/2012 13:40

DS weaned himself off his at about 14mo - we realised he was chewing on it rather than sucking and nursery told us he was throwing it out of the cot so he could laugh at the staff as they went to get it back for him . We just stopped giving it to him, cold turkey, and it turned out he wasn't bothered. No fuss at all, and this from a boy who wouldn't sleep without it previously. So I guess what I'm saying is, if you don't want to let your DD cry now, the "problem" (and I don't think dummy use for sleep is one at that age) might solve itself if you wait a while. If it doesn't, you can always try again.

boredbuthappy · 20/10/2012 17:01

We did it at around 12 months, cold turkey. DS had started using it as a tool to get us to come back to his room by throwing it out of his cot and then standing up and crying out for us, instead of using it to drop off to sleep. We had about 2 or 3 nights of crying shushing nad patting and then that was it...he learned to sleep without it. He is now 19 months old and if he ever sees or gets hold of another baby's dummy, he has no idea what it's for. So he's completely forgotten the dummy. Good luck to you whichever method you decide to try, I think it's better to get rid of it now rather than later as they just get more and more attached to things.

DS has a blanket that he needs have with him to sleep, and he takes it to nursery and carries it around all day. Bit of an issue if I forget to send it with him, but I'd much rather he has a blanket for comfort than a dummy.

BooBumpDaddyandMe · 20/10/2012 21:22

It's a hard one isn't it....
The way we did it was stopped ds dummy during the day except at nap time at about 12 months then a couple of months later "forgot" to take his dummy out with us so that he fell asleep without it when we were out in the car or out in his buggy. When he was 18 months we "forgot" it one evening when we were at my folks house late & put him to bed there without it. He was very tired that evening and was flat out quickly. It took 3 nights of a little reassurance and extra cuddles & he hasn't even mentioned his dummy since ( that was a month ago).
I don't know if our slowly slowly approach is right for everyone but it certainly seemed the best option for ds & didn't cause too much unnecessary stress to any of us.

ConstantCraving · 20/10/2012 21:37

12 months is too young - its a comfort object and if only used at night will not harm teeth. We did dummy fairy, after lots of preparation, at 2.8 and it was fine, no tears, no tantrums, no lost sleep. I'd wait if i were you.

cloudhands · 21/10/2012 17:00

I love this article, which explains why the kindest thing you can do for a child is actually to take the dummy away as soon as possible,

No more thumb, no more pacifier

and here's one for sleep advice that doesn't involve rocking, or crying it out alone, sleeping through the night

Latootle · 21/10/2012 19:47

do you know an adult who has a dummy? I know a child had one till 5, then was given to the fairies for other poor children who couldn't afford a dummy. His teeth were not affected at all nor his speech. But like you only for sleep let her be and and not drive yourself mad. or the child.!!

coraltoes · 21/10/2012 21:43

My dd was the same. Dummy only for nodding off, nt used during the day at all or even during the rest of her sleep. At 18mo I thought, ugh I hate these things and put her down to a nap without it. Chose one she was exhausted for, and she nodded off fine, she asked for it a few times later that day and osubsequent days but I said it had gone. One month later and she has never asked for it again. Bite the bullet!

Iggly · 21/10/2012 21:50

My dd would suck her fingers if she didn't have a dummy. When she was younger that's what she'd do if no dummy. I sucked my fingers and had braces so let dd have a dummy instead.

She's very vocal as she's not allowed it for anything but sleeps.

I also think she doesn't like being rocked anymore so what I've started doing it rocking a bit then lying her down once relaxed and talking gently in her ear while patting so she stays down (as she can stand).

She's nearly 11 months.

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