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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

What's going through her head to get so upset?

11 replies

Bobalina · 27/03/2006 16:19

A few months ago DD 2.5 and I watched one of our home DVDs, family birthdays etc. She is fine with that and loves talking about all the people she knows. The problem comes at the end of the film. There is a 5minute roundup of all that has just played with music accompanying it (Ave Maria to be precise.) She gets incredibly upset. It starts as a slow lip tremble when the music starts and develops into watery eyes to full on tears. Initially thought it was a one of but have, every so often, put one on to see if she gets upset. And she does, without fail every time the music starts up.
Is she just incredibly sensitive at such a young age? What is going on in her head? Any views or similar anecdotes much appreciated.

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crazydazy · 27/03/2006 16:21

Not sure if this is similar but when my sister was about 5 she used to cry every time Button Moon finished, it wasn't the fact that the programme had finished it was the song that made her cry - she still gets watery eyed even now and she is 21.

Hulababy · 27/03/2006 16:23

What does she say when you ask her about it and why it upsets her?

lockets · 27/03/2006 16:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Bobalina · 27/03/2006 16:28

She doesn't say anything when asked and gets even more upset. I too am a sensitive soul and find the film of my family members combined with the music moving too. But I have never shown her that. I can't put it into words why it moves me and guess she feels the same. I remember crying at disney films etc at the music at the age of about 8. But 2.5 is so young.

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Mercy · 27/03/2006 16:34

It could be the music - or is there someone in the video that she doesn't see anymore, or maybe it reminds of her of something sad? Maybe she just doesn't want it to end?

We have a brief video clip of ds when he was a few weeks old, lying on the floor, classical musical in the background. It's cut short because he starts crying. When dd first saw this she reacted in exactly the same way as your dd (same age too). She's seen it again and still reacted in the same way. Now she's older she's told me says it's because ds was crying and the music made her feel sad.

Original poster

Bobalina · 27/03/2006 16:42

Yeah thought of that Mercy but its definately the music that does it. Different DVDs and different people but still the same reaction. I would like to think it was something as practical as seeing her sister cry on film or something similar but suspect it's in her nature to be ultra sensitive. Just hoped she wasn't the only one.

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MrsBadger · 27/03/2006 16:46

if it's the Schubert, it is a vastly touching piece - does she react if just the music is played rather than the dvd?

I do think (and find myself) that music can prod our emotions without us being entirely conscious of exactly how, and there's no way to say that young children don't have these reactions too, particularly at 2ish when their emotions are developing so intensely and rapidly.

I wonder if this would be a good time to introduce her to a range of 'grown-up' music, including classical, and talk with her about how it can make you feel?
Listening to favourite pieces of 'happy' music, 'sleepy' music etc can be a great help for you as well as fun for her.

Anecdotally, the Mozart clarinet concerto provokes peaceful lolling after manic charging about and Bizet's L'Arlesienne is a favourite to fall asleep to, but only on long car journeys. Best happy music is stuff from ballets (as recommended in a Top Tip), especially the national dances from the Nutcracker and La Fille Mal Gardée. Bach, Brahms and Beethoven seem to overwhelm!

Original poster

Bobalina · 27/03/2006 16:55

I think you are absolutely right Mrs B. Thanks for that. I have no knowledge of classical music whatsoever but do find it moving when I chance upon it. Seems understandable that the music, combined with seeing her loved ones, provokes such a reaction now you've said that.

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xapplex · 27/03/2006 22:53

my dd always cries at the end of spong bon the movie. she laughs her socks of all the way through but cries to the song at the end, (its the best day ever)song, im sure you all know the one i mean. i used to think she was being daft but now she tells me its because its such a happy film when the sponge and the star come back to life and the happy song at the end. and now i know how she feels, i well up at happy moments too so i guess its the same with her movie

xapplex · 27/03/2006 22:54

i mean bob, sponge bob the movie

Sparklemagic · 27/03/2006 23:05

what a sweetie she sounds bobalina!

I would do as MrsBadger suggested and introduce more music into the day, and just talk about it. When you're in the car is a good time, if you have one - my DS and I always talk about the kind of music we fancy - does he want 'relaxing' music or happy songs, or whatever.

I think it will be useful for her to realise that music can make us feel lots of different ways. She is obviously sensitive to it so make the most of it as she gets older!

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