how normal is name calling?

[fattybum]

Ds1 is 6.4 and in year 2. He's generally a nice boy, good at school and as good as you can expect from a 6 year old at home!

Anyway, he's normally good with his friends, can have squabbles and arguments but no big problems. BUT if one of his friends upsets him, he can revert to name calling. For example, today after school his best friend had a chocolate which my ds1 asked to share, when another friend came along and asked for some. Best friend gave half to other friend and none to my ds so my ds called best friend stupid.

I didn't see any of this but other friend reported it to me. So I told him off etc but how normal is this, and how can I teach him to control his temper?

I would say this is normal, he is just expressing his anger, which I can understand as the other friend was rather mean, but he needs to move from 'you're stupid' (which is rude) to 'I feel sad/hurt/angry because you did x/y/z'.

I wouldn't tell him off too much but help him express it more appropriately. Can he tell you why he is angry etc?

He's actually very good with saying I'm angry, frustrated etc but probably not so good controling himself at the time.

It's difficult because I'm not very keen on best friend or his mum. He can be very spiteful/manipulative and she only ever sees other people's bad behavior.My ds always seems at his worst around him.

If the other boy is not nice, I would focus more on encouraging your DS to find other friends and not worry about getting cross and expressing it - only real issue is that IMO 'stupid' is not a nice word to throw around.

I'm not surprised your DS is at his worst round him if the other boy isn't kind or a good friend.

Yes, he knows stupid is not a nice word, just got to be reinforced I suppose!

I've suggested he try to make new friends but he is adamant that he wants this boy to be his best friend, even though he tells lies and isn't loyal. He'll have to learn the hard way!