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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

The first 6 months - the easiest or the hardest

21 replies

AlCookie · 10/10/2012 01:31

My son is 6 months n 3 weeks. I found it very frustrating at times as i m sure most of us have at some point. Ppl keep telling me thus is the easiest part and it gets tougher - well they have been telling me this ever since he was born.

First month it was - 'oh he just feeds and sleeps all day...its so easy now,wait till he starts needing attention' - all this while i was struggling with sleepless nights, breast engorgement, completely out of schedule life, baby blues, c sec stitches n the body pain
Second months - 'oh he is so easy to manage now, wait till he starts rolling over' - when i was better managing the sleepless nights and getting a bedtime routine in place
Third month - 'oh he is so easy to manage, just rolls over....wait till he starts moving about and u got to watch where he goes' - when i was starting to feel better and finally in control (at least to some extent)
Fourth month - 'oh he is so easy to manage, wait till he starts putting things in his mouth' - when i was feeling confident on being a mum
Fifth month - 'oh right now its so easy, wait till he wants someone to play with, and then starts eating, he will b fussy and cranky' - when i felt that the problems coming along now are more manageable than the helpless new baby stage
Sixth month -'oh this is easy for now, wait till he starts crawling and u have to watch his every move' - now when i feel i can do this

Ppl are just there to continuously demoralise :'-( it feels really bad at times. I know its going to get harder in many different ways but i would rather he grows up quickly....this baby stage is beyond me!!!

What do u guys think? First 6 months were the easiest?!?!?

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Original poster

AlCookie · 10/10/2012 01:34

I have always found the next stage better. Till now i havent longed for the 'good old days'. I know its only bern 6 months, but as per what ppl have been telling me, i shud have started craving for the days gone by!

But as for me....as the the days have gone by, i have only felt more empowered to handle things rather than getting bogged down by the added attention needed!

OP posts:

HeffalumpsAndGoldenWoozles · 10/10/2012 03:06

I agree that each new stage is easier than the last. That's not to say sometimes you're not faced with new challenges but overall ime things do get better. Ignore people putting a downer on it all for you and be proud of yourself for getting this far.

HoratiaWinwood · 10/10/2012 03:16

Unless you have a colicky or refluxy baby, it is probably true. Little babies do sleep lots and they do stay where you put them. And they don't have opinions really.

But "just you wait" is plain rude. "This is a lovely age because..." is far more supportive.

Natmu · 10/10/2012 03:29

Well said Heffalumps. You should be so proud of yourself. The most useful thing anyone said when I had DS1 was everything is a phase. I'm finding this still applies with 14 year old DSD.

Personally I find the first few weeks the hardest bit (DS2 is nearly 6 weeks) but every baby is different and so is every mum. Just try to enjoy each phase for what it is despite it's stresses

Yamyoid · 10/10/2012 03:38

It makes me

Someone once said it just gets harder to me when I was in a sleep deprived haze, with a baby who would cry every time he was put down. It was so unhelpful.

I have found the opposite to be true. It got easier at 6 months, and as my confidence grew and his sleeping improved, it continued to get easier as time went on.

I also think when his personality developed, I loved him even more.

ComradeJing · 10/10/2012 04:02

It gets easier but the challenges change.

DD didn't sleep at all from 12weeks to around 8 months. It was amazingly draining and hard work. She is easier to get down for a sleep now (almost 2) but I'm still sat in the dark holding her hand until she is asleep.

The more they communicate the easier it is IMO. DD has been chatting away for some time now and her being able to ask for a drink, a snack, tell me that she is hurt and point to the hurt etc means far less of the helpless feeling of, "I have NO idea what is wrong with you but please, I'll do anything to make it stop!"

I also found it easier once she was walking, not harder.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 10/10/2012 05:10

Depends on the kid. Ds was a difficult baby. To be fair, he was a good sleeper and feeder, but when he wasn't asleep or feeding he was grizzling or crying. Got overstimulated at the drop of a hat. Hated the pushchair. hated slings. basically hated everything. He's now two and although he is pretty typical in terms of pushing boundaries, he's so much easier now- playa independently a fair bit and loves his scooter etc.
Dd is 9 wks and a really easy baby so I reckon she'll be the toddler from hell to even it out
I'm just glad I had ds first so I wasn't one of the smugsters that everyone hates.

Hyperballad · 10/10/2012 05:25

Cookie, I think you need to change who you talk to! Those 'you just wait' people are dull and unhelpful, reminds me of my ex mil!

Don't entertain their bollicks, how the hell can they know which stage its easy or hard?

They will have this attitude with everything in life, not just children.

BOLLOCKS to them I say!!

NapaCab · 10/10/2012 05:31

My son is 1 year old and I get this from everyone all the time too. If I say 'oh he's not quite walking yet, he still likes to hang on to me or prefers to crawl', people say, 'you don't want them walking! It's just so much more work!' etc etc. I can't wait until he walks properly because then I can take him out to more activities.

I think a lot of people with older children look back on the baby years with nostalgia and rose-coloured glasses. If they really had to go back to sleepless nights and breastfeeding etc they wouldn't want to.

I'm in two minds. In some ways I'm finding this 9-18 month stage harder (sorry!) because there's not much more you can do with a 12 month old compared to a 6 month old, unless they're an early walker, but they won't just sit in their pram asleep or passive while you get things done either. In other ways, it's easier because they're more responsive and more fun. Personally, I'm viewing these baby/toddler years as a slow, tortuous process towards childhood...

/awaits someone to come along and tell me that 'oh just wait until they're past the toddler agel! It's so much worse because x, y, z...'/

GoldPlatedNineDoors · 10/10/2012 06:15

I found the first three months so so hard. DD was very easy but it was the adjusting to the responsibility and the lack of work that floored me. Months 3-6: still hard, but gaining confidence.

Months 6 onwards (now at ten months) - pure joy. I am astounded by her every day. Her character is bursting out!

JollyJack · 10/10/2012 06:28

I found the first three months the most difficult. Felt like we didn't know what we were doing, had not much sleep, house was a tip, we were sniping at each other because of sleep deprivation.

It was better 3-6 when Ds started to nap more consistently.

6- 13 or 14 were a bit boring tbh.

Having a toddler is amazing. He is fascinating :)

SirDoris · 10/10/2012 06:51

I agree that the best thing to do is ignore the 'you just wait' people. Deeply unhelpful and usually comes from people who don't know you or your baby.

I remember my SIL saying that she loved the tiny baby bit and felt quite sad when they started to sit up. She wanted to carry them round all the time.
For me, it was the exact opposite, loved it when they started to sit and play a bit more and weren't so tiny. Found it so much easier then. Was from about 6months!

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 10/10/2012 07:30

The ancient stoner who runs the coffee shop I go to reckons that age 6-10 is the sweet spot and everything else is hellish (his kids are 16 and 12). He is generally quite a pessimistic type of chap though

JoandMax · 10/10/2012 07:35

I don't think there is an easiest or hardest bit really - each age has it's good and bad points. You get challenging phases and a lot of lovely amazing phases too.

I would say as time goes on though I got more confident about my parenting and would definitely say I enjoy it more now as I'm so much more relaxed (mine are 2.5 and 4 years old now).

Ignore all the comment

georgie22 · 10/10/2012 07:43

I found that things became easier between 6 and 8 months. I felt more in control and dd, after being a frustrated newborn, became much easier once she could roll and then crawl (which she did early). She nearly 2 now and it's fantastic - she's hilarious and a constant source of entertainment!! Yes we have a few tantrums but we're learning to manage them. I want another baby and don't really relish the new baby stage but luckily we now know that it passes and things get easier.

trudat · 10/10/2012 07:46

I really can't remember much about it with dd who's 15 months now. I remember the early days of weaning being really difficult as ds(2.10 now but just 2 at the time) had set times for meals and nap, but dd was all over the place as I was still more or less feeding her on demand and she was between 2 and 3 naps. I never got out the house, or so it seemed, and was constantly feeding, sorting meals, putting one or other down for a nap, and changing nappies.

Hellish!

HearMyRoar · 10/10/2012 09:03

I have realised that it is simply that different people like different stages and so find different bits hard. Personally I really wasn't that into the new born phase as I just found it relentless, love it more and more as dd gets older and more interactive, she's just so much more interesting. However I know other people who love newborns and the seem to find it more challenging as their DC get older.

Original poster

AlCookie · 10/10/2012 11:43

Wow! Thats some great response all u lovely people!

I m so glad that there r ppl on the other side too - the ones who say they liked it as the kids got older. I m sure it will come with the hard bits but seriously the 'helpless' stage is just too overwhelming ! At 6 months i really feel i can better understand why he is crying or what he wants - may be its just the developing confidence in me. But i really hope i find it better going forward....so many ppl have bugged me with this 'you'll see' non sense that now i have this strong urge to 'prove them wrong'

OP posts:

Satine5 · 10/10/2012 19:54

It gets better and better for me tbh. I have had a silent reflux baby who was comfort feeding for ages and constantly at my boob for the first 6 months, crying in pain and constantly unhappy.Now, at 14 months we still have some sleep/food issues, but she is a happy, confident toddler who is such joy to be with, I dread having another because baby stage was sooo much harder. Yes, there are new challenges, but this is so much more fun!

Natashay · 04/07/2017 10:42

Hi mums,

I'm a new mum - well, my baby is six months old. I have gone through a number of struggles in that time and have been supported by my NCT friends. I understand that some mums don't have this support so I have started a Blog. (www.hashtagitsaphasemummy). I have only posted two short pieces so far but I would love some feedback. If you have a moment, could you take a read and let me know what you think in the comments field? www.hashtagitsaphasemummy.co.uk/2017/07/its-phase-has-got-me-and-my-new-nct.html

Many thanks in advance, your help is much appreciated
Natasha

lovehoney69 · 04/07/2017 18:59

Everybody struggles with different stages though!!
I sometimes look back on the baby stage with rose tinted glasses, then I remember the reality and think it's so much easier now. The newly mobile stage I found tricky as you seem to follow them round constantly keeping them out of trouble, but the trade off is that they can entertain themselves more and mostly sleep better.

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