How to get a 2.5yo to be more assertive???

[AdiVic]

Hello

The nursey my 2.5yo goes to (1.5 days per week) have done the progess report on her, and have said in all other areas she is doing really well, but needs to be more assertive, especially in a group situation.

They have said she lets others answer, or help and very much takes a back seat. I have noticed this kind of thing when her pals come to play etc, or when she went to toddler group. At toddler group she would just stand with me (even though I did try to encourage her to play with the others) she would just stand with me watching. If she had a toy/book etc and another child came up with their eyes on it, she would hand it over then shed a tear a few mins later.

A close friend visited whose 4yo daughter is very familiar to my DD once took her choc buttons off her and she just handed them over:( If I tried to take chocolate off her she'd tell me firmly no and would certainly put up a fight (as would I if someone tried to take MYYYY choccy).

At home, she's very confident and chatty, and also very bossy, bit it's just with others she's very quiet and submissive. Especially children.

Any ideas of what I can do to help?

Maybe the nursery could come up with some strategies since they seem so keen to point out this 'shortcoming'. At least she's not one of those grabby children with an inflated sense of entitlement. She sounds lovely.

Hmm DD1 was like this until about age 3... then all of a sudden the "MIIINNNEEE" phase kicked in! I wouldn't worry too much.

It's a bit young to expect assertiveness in a group situation, isn't it?

My 2.9 y.o. was a lot like this, although it has now progressed to letting other children steal his toys, then having complete hysterics, screaming at me that he wants them back, and I should take the other children away and put them in the bin. I'm not sure it's an improvement.

My dd1 was much the same at that age, and remains similarly unassertive now (at almost 6), especially in group situations or with adults/ children she doesn't know well. However she is incredibly thoughtful, kind and empathetic. She also has lots of friends - despite her quiet nature. I'm actually doubtful that there is much you could do to make a 2.5 yr old behave more assertively anyway :)