2 year old who cries every time toy is taken from her

[LJJ]

Hi, I have a DD who will be two next month. Whenever we are in a playgroup situation, or any situation with her peers, she will cry as soon as a toy is snatched from her by another child and come and find me. Does anyone have any tips as to how to respond to her? I don't want her particularly to snatch it back, as we're trying to teach her to share at the moment, (which she's doing very nicely) but likewise, I want her to "stand up for herself". Worried I'm sending her mixed messages. If I say, ask nicely for it back again, DD runs up and says please and 9 times out of 10, the child takes no notice. I don't want her to feel like she's done anything wrong, but she's the one who has to make do with finding another toy. Also, I don't want her to think crying to Mummy is the way to resolve her problems. But at the same time, she's only two!!! Am I being too hard on her???!

Any suggestions gladly received!

I would keep a close eye on her for a while and try to see when the snatching is about to occur. I would then speak to the child doing the snatching as quickly as possible before they have really decided it is theirs and say something like. 'Were you playing with that? it seems that dd had that first she'd like it back.'

I know what you mean about encouraging her to share but it seems that your dd is losing out a lot so maybe she needs to learn that it is OK to keep hold of a toy if someone is trying to snatch it.

Yes, absolutely, I feel she IS being penalised for being a bit too "gentle". I'll give your suggestion a go...thanks...

I have the same problem with ds - easily gives up toy he is playing with, have to teach him that he has to keep hold of it. We taught taking turns from an early age, bloody waste time if he is the only one taking turns though, lots of parents seem to be secretively pleased about their kids snatching toys as they see it as a sign of assertiveness which of course it isn't. Very annoying. Good luck.