do you have to nag your 3.7 year old the whole time?

[rhetorician]

don't drop your drink, dry your hands, don't throw that on the floor, say hello, don't throw leaves, please stop pushing your sister, please answer my question, do you want a drink? it's bloody tedious and exhausting - when do they start to just know what they can and can't do, or is mine particularly resistant? I'm sure that it would seem less hard if dd2 would sleep for more than 2 hours at a time.

You'd be amazed how completely differently they respond if you make it all into a game (they don't have the same way of looking at life as us why should they?) Find his fave toy and get the toy to do those things ; think out of the box; give him a goldilocks breakfast etc.

As an ex C.M., nanny, E.Y. teacher and M of 3, GM of 2 It works!!

ppeat I'm sure you're right, but easier said than done when you haven't had a full night's sleep in almost a year! plus you can't turn everything into a game - she has to learn that she has to be gentle with her sister, and to do as she is told

why do you think I have this name?

DS is 5, and yes I am fairly constant with the 'reminding'.

Say their name before you talk, and make sure they are looking before you say a whole paragraph and are treated to a blank look for your trouble.

Say what you want, then count until they do it.

Pick your battles about stuff. Does it matter if he throws leaves?

We bought the book 'calmer, easier, happier parenting' and in it it gives a strategy about how to ask children to do things only once. I have found the book really useful but the general things are - as Nagoo says make sure they are looking at you, stand close by them when you say it, get them to repeat back to you what you want them to do, don't say it again but instead say 'what I have asked you to do'. We also have a picture timetable of key times of the day and DS1 and DS2 look at it to tell them what they have to do. At the end is a reward so they are motivated to go through all the steps.

On the behaviour front all of mine 'push the boundaries'. I think that is part of being a child. As Nagoo says though you have to decide what are the things that are really important to tell them to do and ignore the rest.

yes, we do most of those things, but she will just tune you out if she doesn't want to hear, or is doing something else. The leaves thing is throwing them at people...so yes, it does matter. Just throwing them would be fine. She is just at that stage where she can't leave anything alone - she is standing next to me, pressing buttons on the printer, pulling the paper out etc etc. Everything!

Yes I understand how hard it is when you're tired but if you look at it differently; after all she's only been on the earth for just over 3 years so it's all fairly new for her; you could show her things; how the printer works etc. Get her to do drawings on the paper, make a game of seeing how far she CAN throw the leaves; be more positive; let her 'help' with the baby etc. I don't like to be commanded to do stuff and I bet you don't either!

Ds is 6. We can spend most weekends nagging him. Tone of voice is important. And picking your battles is key. DH nags him waaaay too much so he switches off. And bribery always works.