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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

6 mth old not sleeping through

38 replies

Twiglet4 · 27/09/2012 10:56

Hi there, 1st time posting but really need some advice. Dd is 25 weeks, started to wean but she has never slept through night. She used to go down for 4-5 hours but recently max is 2.5 hrs, but she always wakes after first 45 mins. I'm bf and trying to put her down drowsy but not asleep but nothing working. Also have 3 yr old ds so don't want her to wake him by using CIO. Family asking if she is hungry or just waking, but not sure how to tell..she always feeds if offered. Should she still need night feeds?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

mrsalwaysawake · 27/09/2012 11:47

Yes, there is absolutely.nothing unusual in a 6 month old waking to feed in.the night.
DS did the waking up quite soon after bedtime thing for months and months! He slept through from dreamfeed at about 9 months, then one night refused to wake for dreamfeed and slept right through. This was at nearly 12 months, I think. He just did it, all by himself, eventually!

33goingon64 · 27/09/2012 11:59

DS didn't sleep through til 9.5 months and I think that's halfway between early and late. Don't listen to HVs or well intentioned family telling you he should be sleeping through. If he's accepting feeds, he's hungry. Stick to your guns and maybe reassess if he's still doing it at 10 months.

NiceCupOfTeaAndASitDown · 27/09/2012 12:00

I don't think you can use the word "should" when it comes to a baby's behaviour. If your baby is taking milk when offered I would say it's fairly likely she is hungry.

Does this really bother you or is it because family are asking questions? If the former I would say you might have to wait a few months before things change, if the latter I'd say either lie and say she sleeps through (like everyone else does) or just stop talking to them about it.

5 hours is the definition of 'sleeping through' for a baby. But there are many changes (growth spurts, teething, development leaps, illness, separation anxiety etc) that a baby might not make it this long. It sounds normal for a baby - don't forget they don't view sleep the same way we do.

mrsalwaysawake · 27/09/2012 13:19

(When I say sleep through, I mean until breakfast time, and so does everyone else I know.)

BaronessBomburst · 27/09/2012 13:26

It's perfectly normal for a 6 month old to want night feeds. If she's waking, feed her. She's probably hungry and there's absolutely nothing wrong in feeding to sleep anyway. She'll grow out of it when she's ready.

And please, please don't leave a baby of that age to CIO. She's crying because she needs something- food, comfort, changing. It's a cue not to ignore her. :(

Try posting in Breast and Bottle Feeding. You'll find lots of mums there in the same boat! (and also with 'well-meaning' relatives)

Original poster

Twiglet4 · 27/09/2012 15:50

Thanks everyone for your advice, we'll just persevere and hopefully she'll get better in her own time, thought maybe I was the only one still night feeding at this age but obviously not

OP posts:

Rubirosa · 27/09/2012 15:59

I think most babies still need night feeds up til about 9 months. As she begins to eat more you could try extending the time between feeds at night (eg. by settling without feeding or getting her dad to settle her if she wakes between 11pm-3am, then extending to 5am, 7am etc). Though not feeding at night doesn't necessarily mean sleeping through!

EleanorHandbasket · 27/09/2012 16:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Afritutu · 27/09/2012 20:43

My d2 is just 6 months. She has never 'slept through' (from early evening to morning). She has been on solids for over a month and eats 3 fairly hearty veg/fruit/starch meals a day (although no protein yet). She is breast fed. Dream feeds don't seem to work. If I wake her to feed, she barely takes any and therefore wakes again when hungry again.

She goes down at 7, wakes around midnight for feed, fusses a bit in the early hours (cuddles, dummy back in) and then at 4-5am up again for a feed and a little more sleep (if I'm lucky). If I feed she will usually always go back to sleep quickly, if I do 't feed she cries and cries and cries.

I have a toddler as well. I have not had more an 4 hours sleep in a row for 6 months, I am shattered. I know it will end eventually but I can't see it ending any time soon.

ecuse · 27/09/2012 20:46

DD didn't sleep through till about 13mo, and was waking 2-3 times a night up till then, sorry. But I totally feel your pain. It's crap, isn't it? Must be even worse with a toddler. Sleep deprivation is torture

narmada · 27/09/2012 21:25

who are all these babies who sleep through the night at 4,5 & 6 months?!?!?

my two DCs did not sleep through until after 12 months - considerably after in DSs case. And he still doesnt sleep all night every night.

I know very very few people whose babies slept thru early on. tis normal.

co-sleeping might be worth a try if you aren't doing it already.

NotInMyDay · 27/09/2012 21:30

Another one here whose DC didn't 'sleep through' (bedtime til breakfast - none of this 12-5 nonsense ) till about the 8-9 month mark. I'm pretty sure DD did it earlier so I was unimpressed . I persevered with strong sleep cues and I can tell you he sleeps so well now. Notwithstanding the odd time he fancies an early morning he is a 7-7 kind of boy.
All the best.

PrincessScrumpy · 27/09/2012 21:31

People lie lots regarding sleep. My 12mo dtds slept through the other night... turned out the monitor ran out of battery! Ooops, but they were happy and smiling when I went to them and have been better since :)

Sounds normal. Seriously I think the girls started sleeping though about 9 months once on 3 meals a day. They are all different.

We survived with co-sleeping - as long as you follow the guidelines it's safe and we didn't have a problem moving them into cots. We always started them in cots but if they work they came in with us.

drowninginlaundry · 27/09/2012 21:40

DC3 will be 4 in January, we get about 1 unbroken night every two weeks. I am hoping that when she goes to school and learns to read she can read those sodding baby books herself. Once you reach a zen-like acceptance that your night will be interrupted, and get a good coffee machine (Nespresso), sleep becomes less relevant...

duchesse · 27/09/2012 21:42

None of mine has slept through the night before 8 months at the earliest. Even the sleeping through at 8 months was a fluke. I'd say reliably sleeping through at 2 yo is a lot more realistic a target than a few months of age. And I agree that many people might misrepresent their children's sleeping patterns.

narmada · 27/09/2012 21:44

haha about the monitor running out of batteries :)

Someone i know once told me they had been to stay at a friend's house and this friend had repeatedly gone on about their child sleeping through. During the night there was apparently an almighty racket from this 'sleeping-thtu-the-night' baby. Parents were completely oblivious - had not heard a thing. My friend was wide awake....

My aunt also claimed both her fully breastfed babies slept thru the night from a week old. She has a fairly marked hearing impairment.......

duchesse · 27/09/2012 21:47

The only other thing I would check besides hunger is that the baby is not too cold. I think that many people aren't covering their babies enough any more because of the advice on avoiding cot death. I don't care what the department of health says, there is no way my babies are going to only have 2.5 togs on them when it's cold enough in the house for us to be under 13.5 tog duvets + wooly throw... (it can be as low as 5C overnight in our house in the winter). I think the 2.5 tog advice only applies in a relatively warm room (about 18C afair). If a baby were stirring at 1am in a cold wet nappy and with cold hands and feet, I'm not surprised they'd find it hard to get back to sleep. I wouldn't be able to sleep with cold feet, no reason to suppose a little baby could.

narmada · 27/09/2012 21:48

gosh i was not suggesting people with a hearing impairment don't respond to their babies at night . Its just that that was back in the days when babies slept far far away in a nursery and not in parent's rooms.....and my uncle contests the sleeping thru the night story too....

feekerry · 27/09/2012 21:56

i agree duchesse 18 degrees feels very cold sometimes! esp as i'm under my winter duvet lol!

op, loads of people lie about sleeping thru. i think a small proportion of babies actually sleep thru proper at that age. my 6 month dd still wakes in the night. as do all our other baby friends whether they are bf,ff or weaned!

DreamingOfPeace · 27/09/2012 21:59

Mine dts are 25 weeks. One has slept through, as in 8-7, for 2 weeks, a few weeks ago. Now he is up up to 3 times after midnight- though last night inky once. His brother remains up 2 hourly, all night

On average with my 3 dc under 2 I'm up 5-6 times a night

My DD slept through, 7-6:30 from 11 weeks. I know because I was so gobsmacked I wrote it on her Red Book. All 3 ebf.

I honestly thought it might have been my marvellous routine (with dds good sleep I mean), until I met DT1.... Exactly the same parenting, totally different experience.

Hope yours improves & hope to god mine do too, fast

Oh, and I always feed at night wakenings.

LadyWidmerpool · 27/09/2012 21:59

I don't think there's any prospect of my 13 mo sleeping through the night before the end of the year. I'm rolling with it. When I changed my expectations life got easier.

tory79 · 27/09/2012 23:04

I love threads like these, ds is 12 months and has slept through twice. And both nights I probably got even less sleep than usual as I was waiting for him to wake up Although I look forward to him sleeping through on a reasonably reliable basis, I have suprised myself by being fairly chilled about the fact that he doesn't do so yet. He changes everyday, and I have seen a massive difference in his sleep, just with him doing his own thing - it will happen!

Seriouslysleepdeprived · 28/09/2012 03:00

I'm up BFing my 6 month old DA for the second time tonight. No sleeping through here either.

Totally normal. Lots of us here is you fancy joining

Seriouslysleepdeprived · 28/09/2012 03:01

DA...? DS stupid phone

GracieGirl · 28/09/2012 03:16

My advice is to lie to any well meaning relatives.

My DD first slept through at 12 months, though didn't do it reliably until she was about 2 yrs. She's now 2 yr and 7 months and probably wakes in the night once or twice a week.

My DS is 6 months next week and feeds around 7pm, then around 10-11pm, around 2-4am then 6-7:30am ish. He's breastfed. I thought that was pretty good but then my standards are pretty low after surviving my DD!!

Good luck!

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